Not Perfect by Laura Banister (best ereader for manga .txt) 📖

to find Grandpa lying oh his stomach, his hand over his heart, on the now smashed table. Blood slowly began to spread around him on the carpet. I couldn’t move or speak, my chest heaving heavily as I took in a deep breath and let out the loudest scream I could. Tears begun to stream down my cheeks as Gran burst in through the back door, my eyes glued to Grandpa’s body. Grandma had took Grandpa’s death in stride. After the funeral, we’d spend every night for months looking through all the photos of Grandpa and telling the memory of the image we held. Eventually, we decided to hang all the photos of him and my parents down in the bar room.

 

Almost a week had passed and I hadn’t moved from my bed. Grandma would come in several times a day, bringing me food and drinks, checking on me. But I barely said a word, I didn’t eat, and couldn’t sleep. I hadn’t told Grandma about what happened, I couldn’t, but the constant replay of the memory burned at me.

The next day, Grandma left for town, leaving me at home alone. I decided I couldn’t stay still anymore, staying still allowed my mind to sit on the memories. I wandered the house, recalling my childhood of running the hall ways, and chasing Grandpa up and down the stairs.

My grandparents’ owned a large farm with 50 acres of land which they used as a reserve park for homeless and injured animals saved by the RSPCA, and an old, red brick three story house that was built half into the side of a hill. Only the top level could be seen from the front of the house, but at the back, you could see all three floors. The back walls of the house were also made from glass, since it was such a secluded area, no one would see inside the house. Grandpa decided it was a great idea because it would allow the light in a lot more and we would save on so much electricity. The top floor of the house held the kitchen, dining room, and a large entertainment area with a large flat screen T.V, 18 speakers surround sound, a large stereo connected to a computer that held all the music and movies you could think of, and three reclining chairs as well as the stairs that led down to the middle floor. The second floor had five rooms, three of which were actually used as bedrooms, another used as a ladies parlour for gran and the last as a home schooling room, where grandma and grandpa would teach me to read, write, and calculate since we lived so far from town. The last room at the end of the hallway was mine. It was huge with a wall-length walk-in wardrobe, a king-size double bed, couch, TV and TV cabinet, study desk and a bathroom with a spa and large shower with 8 jets that spray out water from the sides of the walls. Half way down the hallway are another set of stairs that lead down to the last floor. The bottom floor is Grandpa’s bar room, where he and a few of his friends would go to watch the footy and drink beers. At the far end of the room, double glass doors lead out into Grandma’s garden that’s filled with vegetables, and flowers of all sorts and colours.

Telling Grandma

I found myself in the kitchen in front of the sink with a glass of water when Grandma arrived home. I watched as she came in the door, her long silver hair pulled back in a plait. She wore a full length short sleeved crimson dress and her little red slip on shoes. I watched as she brought in two bags of shopping, and sat them on the grey stone bench top. I moved forward and began to help Grandma put the shopping away. We did it in silence, moving around each other.

“Would you like a tea, dear?” Grandma’s voice was soft as she asked, moving over to turn the silver kettle on.

“Yes please, Grandma” I said, leaning against the bench top. I watched as Grandma moved around, getting cups, and the milk.

“How are you feeling today sweet heart?” She said as she poured the hot water into the mugs.

“A little better, thanks Grandma. I had to move from my bed… Get my mind of things” I felt the memories coming back, quickly shaking them away before they got to close.

“I have to say it is nice to have you up and around. Come talk to me” Grandma handed me my cup before walking into the dining room and pulling out a chair, while I quietly followed. I sat down next to her and looked at my cup. I still wasn’t sure about telling her yet, though I knew I should.

“I went to the doctors today” Grandma’s words made me look at her.

“And what did they say?” Grandma had been diagnosed with Metastatic brain tumours when I was 14 years old. I had just started high school that year.

Grandma looked down, her hands covered her cup. She took it a deep breath before looking up at me.

“He said I should be good for a while yet, his just really upset at the fact they can’t operate”.

I looked down at my own cup before taking a quick sip, the hot liquid burning as it slide down my throat. It was silent for a moment as we both stared down at our cups.

“Grandma, there’s something I need to tell you” the words were already out of my mouth before I could stop them, and now I knew I had to tell her, she was watching me, her bright blue eyes capturing me, questioning what was wrong. I took a deep breath in, slowly allowing the air to escape my lungs.

“That night, Emily wasn’t the only one who got hurt” I stared down at my cup as I spoke, not wanting to look into Grandma’s eyes, and think of how to piece my words together. “Her older brother, Jake, he… umm…” I could feel the memory coming back, stinging in my brain as the pain spread around my body, especially down below. “He… raped me…” My voice was almost a whisper, yet when I looked at Grandma, she looked like she had just been punched in the face, her eyes welling up with tears, as water trickled down mine. It felt like forever before she spoke.

“Did he…? In you?” her voice was a whisper and all I could do was nod. Tears streamed from her eyes as she leaned over and hugged me tightly. We sat there for hours as I told her what happened, the memory burning in my head.

 

Another week passed by in a blur. I didn’t return to school, I couldn’t stand the thought of sitting in all the rooms I had with Emily without her, and I didn’t go to her funeral, the thought of seeing him made me shiver. The police had found Adam guilty of murdering Emily, and had to attend court for sentencing within the following week. He was given 20 years imprisonment. I had begun to feel really sick to the stomach that week, often throwing up each morning. Grandma decided that I should do a pregnancy test. I had sat next to her on the couch holding her hand as tight as I could as we waited the three minutes for the result. It had felt like the longest three minutes of my life before the small plus sign appeared on the stick. Positive. I was pregnant.

“What do you want to do?” Grandma’s voice was soft, questioning my thoughts. I looked from the stick to her, then back again. I could feel my breathe caught in my throat and I couldn’t speak. I sat there silently staring at the stick until I could talk again.

“I don’t know” My voice the slightest of a whisper.

Grandma said she would support me in whatever choice I made.

 

Grandma stayed in my bed again that night. I woke up later that night to the sound of a thump in the hallway. I looked beside me to find Grandma no longer there. I rushed out of my bed and in to the hallway. At the other end, just below the stairs, Grandma’s body crumpled in a heap. I ran towards her, calling out to her, but not a sound heard back. Reaching her side, tears begun to sting at my eyes. Her long, silver hair, now matted in thick red blood from her scalp, her hand bleeding from the glass now smashed on the floor, water pooled around her hand. I rushed up the stairs, and snatched the phone off the kitchen bench. I bounded back down the stairs, dialling 911 as I went. Back at Grandma’s side, I waited for someone to answer.

“911 emergency line, how may I help you?” A women’s voice sounded softly through the phone.

“I need an ambulance to 836 Lilac Road immediately. My Grandmother has fallen down the stairs, and she’s bleeding from the head” My voice was rushed as I breathed heavily, my panic rising the longer I saw the blood.

“An ambulance will be there in about 15 minutes…” I hung up the phone, feeling for a pulse in her neck. I broke down in loud sobs… She was gone.

 

After another set of flashing red and blue lights blurred past and disappeared, I was left alone, the house suddenly feeling cold and empty. I didn’t sleep after that, the doctors words ringing in my head over and over; “The tumours erupted in her brain, killing her instantly.” He had organised for the them to be removed next week earlier that day. He was going to ring her in the morning…

Seeing The Doctor

Grandma left everything to me, the house, the car, the land… Everything. I spent the next three days curled up on the couch, staring out the window. I felt alone.

I still hadn’t decided what I was going to do, but feeling so alone, I decided.

The next day I made an appointment at the doctors, and drove in.

 

Dr. Lexas was tall, with short curly blonde hair that reminded me of Jake. He was mid-twenties, with big brown eyes and the most toned body I’d seen. He wore a short sleeved navy blue t-shirt and blue jeans beneath a big white coat.

“Well, as you can hear, the foetus now has a heart