To Be an Outcast by Timandra Richardson (best pdf ebook reader .txt) 📖

emotionless, powerless, insubstantial robots.”

I stared at him, but only one question hit me. “There are others?”

“It’s not just about liking people, or having sex either, Elise. I get angry when people call me ‘Jimmy’. I got depressed when my grandfather died, the only person who I thought was just like me. I get stressed when my favorite video games buffer.”

I looked away and tugged on my necklace. Erase these memories, erase these memories, erase them! Leftie howled. You never heard any of this!

“Don’t tell me you’re much different,” he said, but I still looked away, no matter how serious he may’ve looked right then.

But I wasn’t—much different, I mean. When my mother refuses to take her pills, I feel a rush of insanity running over me. When I learned that James was going to Princeton I was unexplainably jealous. Worst of all, I had feelings for Brandon.

“You’re insane,” I gasped, feeling it all cascade me. “Absolutely insane. I have a plan—to get married when I’m eighteen, have children, and live on with my talents and make a living. Continue the line of species the world has created. Stop telling me that I’m different.”

James rushed behind me to close the window, his overwhelming height making it hard to lean against. “Yes,” he whispered, as if to keep me quiet. “You are.”

I stole a look from Brandon who didn’t want to seem to interfere. “You do know this is your fault, right, Brandon? Why I’m even here? How do you just randomly confess your feelings to a girl and not expect her to absolutely panic?”

He shook his head. “I’m sorry, Elise. I couldn’t hold it in.”

“How long have you been ‘holding it in’?” I asked ignorantly.

He gulped. “Since…since before I can remember. Since before my mind made a switch. Maybe, like, sixth grade?”

I felt my jaw drop, an unfamiliar feeling. “I—I didn’t even know you then, Brandon, what the—”

“I know,” he said. “It’s very sudden. But I’ve always known who you were and…” He couldn’t stop gulping, and it made everything else even more nerve-racking.

“Spit it out!” I yelled unconsciously.

Startled, he dropped whatever he was holding, rushed over to me, and cupped my face with his hands. “Elise,” he gasped. “I’m in love with you.” And without a warning, he bent down and shoved his lips against mine, leaving me in a shocking, stilled astonishment.

Almost as quickly as it’d started, James shoved Brandon off of me, which I was partially thankful for.

“Too soon,” he snarled.

“I had to—it was the spur of the moment, and I was going to lose you, I could feel myself losing you already, Elise.”

Leftie and Righty finally silenced. It was like nothing was there. Had I gone brain dead?

My lips were parted, and I still felt as if Brandon was kissing me, and a gasp escaped from them.

James seemed to laugh. “Don’t act like he just stole your virginity, for God’s sake.”

“I…” I let out a hollow breath before my heart beat began settling to a normal race. “I have to go home now. Please, whatever you both do, avoid talking to me under any circumstance whatsoever.”

“Elise, I’m so sorry,” Brandon said, trying to edge up closer to me. “You don’t understand what it’s like to be someone like us. We can go years…” and his gaze drifted to the ground as if he’d fallen into his own world while talking. “Years…feeling affectionate for another person without a single person feeling affectionate for you in the same way. It’s…agonizing.”

“Then comes marriage,” James sang. “Then comes a baby in a baby carriage.” I slowly turned to give him a disapproving look, but he managed to go on anyway. “That’s not all, that’s not all…”

“What’s not all?” I nearly yelled again.

He clenched his jaw. “I didn’t have a good ending that relates to our situation.”

I could feel my head burning when there was a sudden knock on the door. All of our heads switched in its direction choreographically. “Brandon?”

His mother.

“The closet,” Brandon whispered exasperatedly. “What, Mom?” he then said louder.

James pointed towards the closet that was across the room. “Get in!” he whispered.

And Righty decided to make another appearance: You’re in deep, Elise. Look what you’ve done.

I ran into the closet without another thought and closed it softly behind me as the room door opened. “James?” Brandon’s mother said, sounding astonished.

I stood there, trying to see through the cracks in the closet door, but saw nothing but James’ crossed arms of defiance.

“What are you doing here?”

“Mrs…Charles,” James said slowly, swaying. “Brandon and I were just looking over first-day studies.”

So…James and Brandon weren’t brothers.

“Um, okay. I heard a lot of noise up here—too much. Keep whatever it is that you’re hiding silent. We don’t want admin coming over to look through the house.” There was a line of footsteps heading for the door, and then the door shut.

I flew through the closet door and glared at Brandon who looked speechless. “Is your mother…in on this?”

“In on what?” James interrupted. “In on normality?”

I headed for the window instantly. This would be the last time these boys would hear from me, but James slid just before me.

“What’s your favorite song, Miss Elise Boardman?” he asked, arms still crossed eagerly. “People like us always have a favorite song.”

I looked at Brandon again. “Brandon, just for a heads up, there is no ‘us’. An ‘us’ is utterly impossible. There’s a system to all of this—you get assigned a wife. You don’t get the opportunity to pick one. You have at least two children, and you’re not allowed for any mistakes and have more. Just, pretend this never happened, will you? Please?”

Instead of answering, Brandon looked away from me and sat down. “Let her leave, James,” he said, and James looked down on me.

“I don’t see how he could fall for such an emotionless, authority-following, lifeless robot anyway.” James cleared the path. “My favorite song is 500 Miles, Elise.”

“I don’t care,” I said, putting my legs over the window. “I don’t have one.”

“Couldn’t you at least give him a hug or something?” James laughed, looking over at the sulking Brandon. “He’s gonna cry himself to sleep tonight. The first time he’s ever confessed his love for a woman and she shoots him down like a bird. You just ruined a life.”

There was no turning back. I began making my way across to my window. “He knows how sorry I am,” I said, beginning to put my legs into my own window. “He knows how I feel, at least.”

James looked stuck in thought and was just about to speak as I slammed my window closed and lowered the shades.

I slowly hit my back against the wall and slid down, slipping my knees underneath my chin.

My favorite song: Bang, Bang

Imprint

Publication Date: 12-06-2014

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Dedication:
I don't dedicate this to the movie The Giver. Halfway through my amazing story, I found out about this movie and got pissed because the aspects were forreal similar. But I'll watch it anyway. And I dedicate this to a girl named Amy who thought the idea was great. And to my Dad, who's finally noticing how much I love writing and listening to my ideas. And to all my readers