LITTLE GIRL LOST by SARAH BETH LEE (bill gates books to read TXT) 📖

/> Nick could see the doubts and questions swirling in Hannah's eyes but he knew she wanted to believe him. She just wasn't ready to move past the blame she felt and remember what happened that day so long ago. She sat beside him perfectly still afraid to breath, afraid that if she so much as blinked he would disappear.

Hannah finally found her voice, "How is it possible that I don't remember that but I can see you so clearly sitting across from me at my Dad's wake looking pretty much the same as you do right now?"

Nick shrugged his shoulders not really sure what the answer was. "Hannah I'm not sure maybe you blocked it out because everything that happened that day was too painful. I honestly don't know, I blocked it out until today. I had this reoccurring dream of a little brown haired, hazel eyed girl my entire life and I had no idea what it meant until I saw you a few weeks ago. I know for you it seems like it’s been seventeen years but for me it’s only been a matter of weeks. I had completely blocked it out and then today I had the dream of you along with my parents. The thing is it wasn’t so much of a dream as it was a memory. I know how crazy this must sound but I don’t know how to explain it."

Nick slowly reached for her hand and gently covered it with his own. Hannah felt a jolt run through her body as her eyes closed and she could see it all in her head. Nick as that young boy holding her hand and with that simple touch he had saved her life that day. She had watched him cross the room and with a wave from the door he'd been gone as if he'd never been there at all.

"Why are you here now, after all this time?"

Nick placed his forefinger under her chin raising her eyes to meet his.

"I made you a promise."

Hannah's eyes widened as she remembered his soft spoken words. "You said that one day a long time from now you would find me and explain everything."

Nick nodded, "And that I would always be with you even if you couldn't see me."

Hannah saw so much hope shining in his eyes she wanted to be whatever he needed her to be. She was afraid that she would only disappoint him in the end.

"All those gifts and cards, the flowers at my Aunt's funeral they were all from you. I always hoped it was you."

"I don't want to push too hard but Hannah I know in my heart that it's always been you. I know we both have unresolved issues with our past but we can work through it together. I know exactly how you feel."

Hannah wasn’t sure if anyone knew exactly how she felt. “Really how do I feel?”

Nick watched her face never taking his eyes off of her. “You feel an emptiness deep inside that never goes away as if the pain aches down to the bone leaving the scars tattooed on your skin for the whole world to see. You wake up every day feeling like you don’t deserve to be here because it should have been you that died that day instead of him. You hide behind the pain because letting anyone in would hurt you in the end. Somehow you think that if you don’t let anyone too close that nothing will ever make you hurt like that again.”

Hannah could feel the tears falling and she knew he had gotten it right. She wanted to tell him that everything was her fault but she couldn’t seem to find the words. She just let him hold her and dry her tears.

“Hannah let me in because I’m tired of being alone.”

Hannah knew this would only turn out badly but she couldn’t seem to push him away. His arms felt too good as they held her tight, his words sounded too sweet whispered in her ear and the smell of his skin was too potent. She didn’t want to let him go because he wasn’t the only one tired of being alone. She knew that he would hate her in the end but for now she needed this more human connection more than the air she breathed. She gave in and let him hold her so close that she could count the beats of his pounding heart. She closed her eyes and waited for the end to come.


Short Version or Long Version?

CHAPTER THIRTEEN
SHORT VERSION OR LONG VERSION

Nick’s arm was beginning to grow numb as he held a sleeping Hannah but he was afraid to move. He watched the gentle rise and fall of her chest as she breathed in and out, the soft glow of contentment on her rosy cheeks and he loved the way her soft short locks of hair felt on the crook of his neck. He wasn’t really sure what he had been expecting but he distinctly remembered her hair long and full with soft curls framing her heart shaped face but now she looked older and sexy as hell with the short waves pointing in all directions. He had the urge to run his fingers through her hair to know what that would feel like but he remained perfectly still watching her sleep. He knew that physically was exhausted and needed time to let her body heal. He wondered if she experienced bouts of hypoglycemia often or if it was a result of too much stress. He felt her began to stir in his arms and he watched as her eyes blinked and finally fluttered open.

He stifled a laugh at the look on her bewildered face as she sat up beside him with her eyes popping with wonder. He loved the way the flicks of green flashed in the glow of the overhead light and he wondered what was going through her mind as she studied his face. She slowly extracted herself from the tangle of his arms and sat beside him on the couch. She smoothed the wrinkles on her pant legs and ran a trembling hand through her spiky locks.

As she raised her eyes he knew she was taking in every little detail about him. She saw his short clipped hair that she knew had once been a sandy brown mass of unruly waves. The image she had seen in her mind had been of a young, rebellious boy who wanted to lash out at the world around him but now sitting beside her was a handsome, collected man who made her heart beat wildly in her chest and long to lay her palm on his cheek just to know that he was real.

“So Nick what do we do now, besides sit and stare at each other all night?”

He felt the tension melting away as every fiber of his being relaxed. He felt the air whoosh past his lips as he smiled at Hannah’s dazzling smile. He hadn’t wanted to push too hard for fear of scaring her away but it was obvious that she was adjusting rather well to his sudden appearance.

“Well do you want the short version or the long version?”

He watched her arch her eyebrows in a quizzical manner. “I see that you have given this a lot of thought. So how about starting with the short version and we’ll see where to go from there.”

Nick absentmindedly began to rub his thumb along the palm of her hand. “Well I thought we would decorate your new Christmas tree and then watch a movie.” He held up a DVD of Home Alone and the irony of his movie choice made her laugh.

“Home Alone, it’s funny you picked that movie.”

Nick turned her hand over and held it in firmly in his. “See the thing is that I never really liked that movie because it always reminded me how alone I felt without my family with me during the holidays but I thought maybe we could watch it together and maybe we wouldn’t be alone this holiday season.”

Hannah swallowed the lump that had begun to form in her throat and drew a shaky breath. She found a sense of comfort in the fact that Nick knew exactly how she had felt all these years. She smiled and squeezed his hand. “I think that sounds great but I don’t have any decorations. I am sorry to say that I haven’t put up a tree in years. I usually just place the beautiful ornaments you have given me on the mantle and the various places around the room.”

She could see a grin on Nick’s handsome face as he tried to hide the smile that was threatening to appear. “Well then it’s a good thing I came prepared.”

Hannah watched as he walked across the room and out the door. She was afraid that maybe he had decided to leave and she felt a deep sense of loss until she saw him return with two very large boxes and one small circular one. He placed the boxes on the floor by the tree. Hannah let her curiosity get the best of her and joined him as he opened the first box. She watched in wonder as her removed a beautiful wreath trimmed in gold and burgundy. She could see the beautiful pearls and glistening pine cones and sprigs of cranberries. He then took out a gold hanger that fit perfectly over the door. He placed the wreath on the hook and motioned for her to step out into the deserted hall. She smiled at the cheery holiday bauble as a warm tingly feeling began to spread through her and she wondered if maybe the magic of the season was affecting her in unexplainable ways.

“Nick its beautiful, thank you.”

Nick could hear a but coming and a pang of fear crept into his pounding heart. “But…”

She looked up and smiled shyly at him. “Well I just wondered how you knew I wouldn’t have a tree or a wreath; am I really that easy to read? I mean you’ve never been around me so how did you know?”

He saw the way she had her arms wrapped tightly around herself as if trying desperately to hold herself together. He walked closer to her and placed a steadying hand on her shoulder. “I just thought that you probably felt the same way I do about the holidays and that maybe it was time we tried to