Finding London by Ellie Wade (best pdf ebook reader .txt) 📖

“You don’t know me at all, Sarah.”

“Wrong. I know you better than anyone. Your experiences might have left you jaded, but they haven’t dulled your shine. Something about you makes you this enigma, Loïc Berkeley. Something about you makes you great.”

She scoots her body closer to mine until our faces are mere inches away. I can see the dark blue ring that circles her brilliant eyes.

“Once upon a time, you saved my life. The hope that I would find you and see you once more saved me again and again every day that we’ve been apart. You are my angel,” she says.

“And you are mine.” I wrap my arms around her, relishing in her living, breathing warm existence.

“I’m never leaving you again.”

“Promise?” I say against her soft hair.

“I promise you.” She nuzzles her face against my chest.

I sigh as my current life comes to the surface.

“What is it?” she asks.

“I’m leaving in two months on deployment. I’ll be gone for a year.”

I used to love being in the military. I lived to go on deployments. While overseas, I volunteered for numerous missions that didn’t need me. I’d be lying if I said that I had done it because of the love of my country. I know that’s the right answer, but it’s not my answer. I put myself into dangerous situations because I felt disposable. And to be honest, if I were going to go out, why not go out with some excitement, fighting for some cause? It felt good to fight for something when there was nothing good left in my life to fight for. I wanted to die as a man with convictions even if they weren’t mine. I’m not sure if that makes any sense, but it’s the truth. The other glaring truth is that I had no one on this earth who needed me or would miss me. Yes, I’m sure Cooper would have missed me some. But he’s in the military, so he would have understood.

But, now that I’ve fallen in love with London and gotten Sarah back, I’m leaving. And though a year isn’t forever, it sure seems like an eternity in this moment. The timing of all this just blows.

Sarah’s voice is calm and measured, as if she senses my inner turmoil, which she probably does. “It’s okay. We’ll be in contact while you’re gone, and I’ll be here when you get back.”

Her statement makes me realize that I have no idea where she lives.

“Where have you been living?”

“All over. That part hasn’t changed much. I’m currently in Orlando, Florida.”

“Oh, yeah? What do you do there?”

She giggles. The sound does something to my insides, bringing me back to when it was Sarah and me against the world.

“I work for Disney. I’m Princess Aurora. You know, Sleeping Beauty?”

“You’re a Disney princess?” I ask in amusement.

“Yeah, I dated Aladdin for a while. He got me the job,” she says casually.

I can’t help but laugh. The vision of her out with a guy in poufy silk pants and a barely there vest is a priceless sight.

“That’s bloody brilliant, Sarah.”

“Oh, I love when you use your British words!”

I chuckle. “It happens a lot less than it used to. Being around you makes me think of the past and my parents. I guess that’s why some of my dad’s phrases slip out. So, who would have guessed you would grow up to be a princess?”

“Yeah, not what I thought I’d be doing with my life, but it pays the bills.”

“I think it’s great. You deserve to be a princess.”

She lets out a disapproving sound. “It’s not really all it’s cracked up to be. Ninety percent of the days in Florida are scorching and humid as hell. The princess dress is heavy, hot, and stinky. The makeup that I have to cake on my face makes me sweat more than I already do, and to top it off, I get to have thousands of grimy kids’ hands pawing me all day. I’d gladly leave that job to move up here.”

“Well, maybe you should wait until I get back. The winters up here are no joke, and if you thought that the winter months in Texas were cold, just wait until you live through one up here. There’s no point in being here and suffering, like I know you would be, if I’m not here anyway.”

She groans. “Why did you choose to be stationed here?”

I chuckle. “Cooper wanted to live with Maggie, and he’s really all I had, so I agreed to follow him up here. Actually, you get used to the winters. I kinda dig ’em. I love snowboarding and skiing.”

“If you say so,” she says with definite speculation lining her voice. “Maybe I will wait until you get back.”

“How long can you stay?”

“I have a week’s vacation.”

“All right. Then, we have a week to figure out what you want to do.”

“Sounds good,” she agrees.

The two of us talk for hours, both eager to know every detail of the other’s life that we missed in the past eight years. When I think about it, it seems like we’ve been apart for a lifetime. The person I was back then and the person I am now are so vastly different. But, at the same time, lying here with Sarah in my arms feels like no time has passed at all.

I’m not sure how late we stay up, talking, but at some point, we start to drift off. Right before sleep takes me, I am overcome with complete and utter contentment, and for the first time since I was a little boy, a powerful emotion is present in my chest. It feels a little like hope.

Hope is the building block for miracles, but it is also the catalyst for disappointment, depending on which way the coin falls. But, maybe for once, the coin will land in my favor.

London

“Love makes me weak—it’s true—but it’s in that fragility where I will find my true strength.”

—London Wright

“How do I look?” I ask Paige.

“You’re a hot babe, as always,” she responds.

“I don’t need you to blow smoke up my ass, Paige. I need the truth,” I say, irritated.

“Rawr,” Paige growls like an angry cat. “Don’t bite the hand that feeds you.”

“You rarely cook.” I roll my eyes. “Sorry. I know my earlier comment was a tad bitchy, but I need honesty.”

Paige lets out an exhausted sigh. “I was being honest.”

I exhale loudly, pouting out my lips. “Okay. Just checking.”

“You’re so annoying sometimes.”

“Thanks,” I say as I spray myself with more body spray. “I’m sorry. This is serious. I need to be hotter than everyone else today.”

“Loïc doesn’t love you only because you’re pretty. I’m quite sure he likes you as a person as well. You should focus on that aspect a little more.” She gives me a pointed stare. “You have no reason to worry. Seriously, stop getting your chickens in a twist.”

“Isn’t it panties?”

“What’s panties?”

“Ugh, never mind.” I let out an exhausted groan. “I’m sorry. I don’t like feeling like this. This is new territory for me, and I don’t like it. I’m telling you, when you meet her tonight, you’ll see. She’s a freaking model.”

“So what? There will always be tons of gorgeous women in this world. You can’t freak out every time Loïc talks to one.”

“I know, I know. But they have history.”

“Not that kind.”

“Right. I know…I’m being stupid.”

“Yeah, you totally are. You’re not acting like the London I know and love. No offense, but this whole week, you’ve been rather whiny and annoying. Just being honest.”

“You’re right.” I sigh. “Please feel free to kick my ass.”

“That won’t be necessary.” Paige laughs.

“Remember back when you were in love with Troy? Did you feel neurotically jealous all the time?”

“Yeah, but that’s because I could sense something wasn’t right. Turned out, he had been cheating on me with every Delta Zeta who would put out. I had reasons. You don’t. Loïc is a man, not an immature douche bag, like Troy was. Totally different.”

“Fine. So, I don’t have any good reasons? I’m just a dumbass?”

Paige chuckles. “Everyone handles love differently. You’ve never truly been in love before. You’ll figure out how to navigate through this without all the jealousy. It’s a learning process. Plus, Loïc isn’t always the most open, so you have some additional obstacles.”

“True. All right, let’s go hang out with the woman Loïc loves.” I grab my purse and head toward the door.

“Like a sister,” Paige says behind me with obvious mirth in her voice.

“Whatever.”

Paige and I are meeting Loïc, Sarah, Maggie, and Cooper at the bowling alley. Loïc’s been hanging out with Sarah the past few days, but he really wanted everyone to do something together before she leaves on Saturday morning.

I see Cooper’s car in the parking lot when Paige and I arrive, so I know they’re already here. We find them sitting at a table in front of a lane, ready to go. They’ve already input the six of our names into the computer, evident by our names being up on the monitor above our lane.

They’re all laughing at something Cooper said.

“Hey,” I cut in, waving to the group.

Loïc stands and pulls me into a hug, a huge smile on his face. “Hey, I’ve missed you,” he says before planting a quick kiss on my lips.

I introduce Paige to Maggie and Sarah. Sarah gives me an awkward hug. All right, maybe it’s just weird on my end.

Why do I make everything so uncomfortable? Ugh, I hate emotions.

“So, Loïc tells me that you want to be a journalist?” Sarah asks with what appears to be sincere interest.

Fine, maybe she is truly a nice person.

“Yeah. I actually got a call yesterday to interview with a local paper. It’s a small writing gig, but if I get it, I’m hoping it will grow into more,” I say to everyone, as they are all listening in on the conversation.

“That’s awesome, babe. Why didn’t you tell me?” Loïc asks, grabbing my hand and squeezing gently.

“I don’t know. I forgot. I guess I just figured I’d tell you the next time I saw you.” I shrug, smiling weakly, before taking a drink of pop that Maggie just poured for me.

“That’s awesome. When’s your interview?” Cooper asks.

“Next Thursday.”

“Make sure to let us know how it goes,” Maggie chimes in.

“I will. Thanks. So, what have you all been up to?” I direct my question to everyone.

I know that Loïc and Cooper had to work the past three days. They usually get home from work around three in the afternoon.

“Well, it’s been great because Maggie has had the last few days off, so I’ve been able to spend time with her during the day while Loïc has been at work,” Sarah says.

“Yeah, it’s been great. Unfortunately, I have four straight twelves, starting tomorrow. So, tonight’s going to be the last time I really get to see anyone again until Monday.” Maggie makes an exhausted face.

“What does that mean?” Paige asks. “Twelves?”

“Well, London’s probably told you that I’m a nurse?”

Paige nods her head.

“Well, at the hospital where I work, we do twelve-hour shifts, but if you include driving time