The Variations by Jones M (christmas read aloud txt) 📖

before she pushed the door open.

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Hours later, Kate had returned to her dorm. After being at the doctor's office and giving out a sample of her fluids, she was advised to wait for two days to get the actual results for her blood test.

It still did not calm her down. If possible, it made her much more worried about her results. Apart from freaking out about Chris and her college life, she wondered how her parents would react to the news. She knew they wanted grandchildren, but she was certain they didn't want them when she was still finding herself.

She felt like she had messed up just like she had done in high school. 

She sighed, and a second later, a harsh knock sounded in the room. She turned swiftly to head for the door.

She flung it open, and the person on the other side made her wish she could have checked who it was.

Chris stood in front of her, fuming.

"What the hell, Kate?" he yelled. Marie sighed, turning to head into the room. Chris swiftly followed, closing the door behind them.

"Why have you been ignoring my texts and calls?"

"Chris, it's only been a day. My phone has been acting up since last night," she told him, hoping he wouldn't reply with a smart comeback.

"You were online on Facebook and Whatsapp until one this morning," he pointed out.

'Crap,' Kate thought.

"So why?"

Kate felt like she had experienced such a conversation with him. She felt scared for a moment, but she knew she had to tell him the truth.

"I had a rough night, okay?" she told him. "Look. You don't understand what I'm going through."

"Then tell me!" Chris stated in frustration. "I've been worried. I thought something that I don't know had happened between us. Make me understand what you are hiding from me."

"That's the thing, Chris!" Marie confessed. "I don't know how you'll react if I told you--"

"Told me what?"

"That I may be pregnant!"

A sudden pause came between them. The room was silent as the two stared at each other.

"What?" Chris commented in shock.

Kate's eyes grew watery as she sighed before saying, "I took three pregnancy tests yesterday. Two read positive, and I felt scared. I didn't know how to tell you, and so I turned to Gwen. She told me to go to the hospital--"

"Wait," Chris interrupted her with furrowed eyebrows. "You told Gwen?"

"Yes. She told me that the tests could be faulty, and she advised me to go to the hospital for a blood test. That's where I've just been."

"Are you telling me you turned to Gwen about this and not me?" Chris emphasized as he glared at her. Kate was confused for a moment.

"Yes, Chris. I told her! I mean, she understands--"

"And I don't?"

"You are a guy, aren't you?" she stated. Chris' eyes widened at her response.

"I did not know how to tell you, Chris! How would you have reacted if I came to you and told you that I might be carrying your baby?"

Chris gulped before saying, "I would have been shocked."

"See?" Kate seemed to sigh in a mixture of relief and anger. 

"But I would have been happy about it."

Kate was taken aback for a moment as she looked at him.

"No, you wouldn't. We are in college. We still have our lives--"

"It doesn't matter," he said, deflating for a moment. Marie was surprised by the lack of emotion he was exhibiting.

"Chris, what the hell? This is college we are talking about! Don't you care about your future?"

"Of course I do!" he yelled, his eyes glaring with anger. "I care about it, but it won't matter if you aren't in it."

Kate was still perplexed by the way he was reacting.

"What?" she said.

"Do you think I would have been mad? Kate, I know I am as responsible as you are for the situation we are in. Yes, I would have been shocked, but I would have been happy about it. It's something that I want with you," he admitted.

"Chris..." Kate trailed off, not knowing what to add.

"I love you, Kate," he said.

After he had spoken those words, time seemed to stand still for Kate.

"No. No," she denied his words. "You can't be."

"But I am," he persisted. "I have been ever since we were in high school."

Kate was at a loss for words.

"But we haven't been talking to each other until last year."

"It does not matter, Kate," Chris said.

"Of course it does! How can you be standing here, telling me that you love me when we've only been hanging out for a couple of months?"

"Kate, aren't you listening?" he asked her. "I have been in love with you ever since we were in high school."

Kate still denied his words. "You couldn't have. I was... You know how I was!"

Chris' eyes turned glassy.

"I still loved you," he said. "Even after you had your tumor removed."

Kate tensed at the words he said. She was shocked he knew, but she was not planning to delve into that topic.

"I thought I had gotten over you after what happened in high school. But being around you again... Doing the project reawakened my feelings for you," he continued. "They never left. You made me fall harder than I ever thought I could, and I looked forward to every moment I spent with you."

"Chris..." Kate trailed off as her vision blurred. She had no idea of what to tell him.

"Why do you think I always hanged out with you? Why do you think I always went out with you to restaurants and amusement parks without anyone else?"

"Chris--"

"I also took you to meet my family for fuck's sake!" he yelled, his chest quickly moving with the breaths he was taking. He closed his eyes, tears flowing down his cheeks.

"It hurts to know you don't trust me," he added. "I thought you knew me the way I know you. I thought you'd let me be your rock. I thought you would trust me with heavy stuff like this. Fuck, were you ever going to tell me about it?"

"But it's a baby, Chris," Marie persisted, slowly crying herself. "How could I have told you that? And how could I have known you felt that way for me?"

He looked down, shaking his head. He sniffed, and Kate realized that he was also crying.

"But that's the thing. You should have. I would have loved you and our child."

After that sentence, Kate felt aware that something bad was going to happen.

"Chris--"

"Do you love me back, Kate?" he interrupted her. At that moment, he pinned her with his gaze. The tears in his eyes hurt Kate, and she wanted to go and soothe his pain.

'Do I love him?' she thought. She was not ready to answer that question. Thoughts flooded her mind as her heart thudded behind her chest. She opened and closed her mouth, not knowing what to say.

But then, she did not realize how long she had waited to answer his question.

"I thought so," he sighed when she did not answer, moving to leave the room.

"Chris," Kate said, not knowing what to add. He stopped for a moment, sighing before he went to the door. He opened it and got out, softly closing it before his footsteps receded.

Marie stood, staring at the door with her vision blurring with tears. It was after a short while that she broke down on the floor, sobbing.

 

Chapter 56

 

'I'm not pregnant,' Kate stared at the text she had last sent to Chris. She knew he had received it, and she also knew he didn't want to talk to her. She shifted on her bed, sniffing as she wiped some of her tears away.

Kate had been lucky. The doctor had explained to her that she had been on her safe days when she was having unprotected sex with Chris. She was advised to get on a birth control plan. She was also told stuff that people did not know about sex, like naked contact between the male and female genitalia provided risks for impregnation. She had been doing that a lot with Chris before he took her virginity, and she was surprised yet glad to not be expecting.

Anyway, her prayers for not being pregnant were answered, but she was not happy. A week had passed ever since she and Chris had... Kate was not sure of what to call it yet. It felt like a breakup, but Chris had not defined it.

Or maybe it was her way of keeping up hope that things could change between them.

Apart from exams, the last seven days had been filled with tears for Kate. Her mind was always focused on Chris that she had problems concentrating on her tests.

Chris had moved away from his spot next to her, choosing to sit near the front of the class. She wanted to believe he was following the exam regulations that involved not sitting near friends, but then it did not feel like that. It hurt her, especially when he quickly left after classes to avoid her. But she understood his need for distance.

Kate wanted to talk to him, but she was unsure of what to tell him. He had recently confessed his love for her, and it had left her uncertain about her own feelings.

'Do I love him back?' she wondered. She admitted she had strong feelings for him, but she was not sure about what to label them. She and Chris had been friends for three months before they had started dating in January. It felt too soon to call it 'love'. What if she said it but it was not actually it? What if Chris got tired of her and decided to leave her?

'I love you,' Kate recalled him telling her that, and her eyes started tearing up again.

"But how could he spring that up on you?" Kate remembered her friend replying after she had told her about the breakup. "You were just dating for a few months, and then he tells you he loves you before he breaks up with you? I mean, what the f?"

"Don't let it bother you, Gwen."

"No, Kate. What is wrong with him? I just can't believe he did that to you! That guy must be sick. That guy--"

"Is in love with me," Kate had cut her off before another round of tears shook her form.

She sighed in the present, wiping away the tears flowing down her cheeks. Her sadness was soon mixed with a dose of anger at the memory. Chris had told her that he loved her and their possible child, yet he left her alone and crying. Gwen had made a point emphasizing that.

'He's sick of me, isn't he?' Marie wondered all of a sudden. 'I can understand. I mean, I wasn't comfortable enough to tell him I could have been pregnant. Even if I truly were, I would have continued hiding it from him.'

Kate suddenly realized that Chris was right about her trust in him. But how could she have known that he would be welcome to the idea of them having a child? Almost every novel and every show she watched that involved teen pregnancy in high school and college had the hero yelling at the heroine and blaming her for it. A few even had him leaving her.

'He loves you,' her mind reminded her, making her scoff as she got out of the bed. She was tired of