Let me Hate you by Anjaani (top reads txt) 📖

Wait, what? Did he say sorry, or did I misheard him? she thought.

Noting that she still didn’t respond, he again said with guilt.

“I am sorry, Asmaira. I am really sorry for last night.” Not able to stand his rejection, she slumped on the floor, making Amaan feel more guilty though he didn’t dare to touch or face her. He continued to explain.

“Last night, I,” he licked his lips to control his anxiety before continuing to say, “I...I...I mean, Raj forced me to have a drink with him; I swear I stopped drinking, and he was also drunk, and he made me have a few. I don’t know what happened to me last night. I swear on Raina I didn’t mean to —” before he could complete, I didn’t mean to force myself on you, Asmaira interrupted him.

“It’s ok; you were not the only one to commit the mistake. I am also responsible for it.”

Though she tried hard to sound genuine, Amaan can still feel her pain behind her words. Before he could talk more, Asmaira rose abruptly and, without facing him, walked towards Kabir.

“I will put him in his room.”

As her back was facing Amaan, he didn’t see her red eyes and nose. Her face was covered with tears, rapidly falling on hearing his regret. She was devastated to hear the remorse in his words.

It’s all my fault; how can I even assume him to have feelings for me? How shameless can I be? Right then, the only emotion she felt was disgust, disgust for herself.

He is and will always be Raina’s, and I actually even thought of taking him away from her, after all, what Amaan and Raina did for me. She loathed herself.

Amaan stood there and watched Asmaira’s back disappearing. He recollected what happened in the morning.

Amaan was gazing at Asmaira’s sleeping form when he was brought out of his trance by a phone call. He blinked twice to register both of them were naked, and he was literally caging Asmaira in his arms. He gently lay her and got out of bed; while pacing in the room thinking about last night. His thoughts were again interrupted by annoying calls from Raj, who seemed to be nervous.

“Can you come over now to the hospital? There is something I want to talk about.”

“What happened? You seemed to be serious,” Amaan asked.

“There is something about last night I want to talk about; I think the drinks we had were spiked,” Raj said.

“What do you mean?” Amaan said while turning to look at Asmaira.

Is that why I couldn’t control myself last night, he was thinking.

“I can’t say anything right now; come over to the hospital.” Raj finally convinces his friend.

Why did I lose myself last night, why did I feel like claiming her, Did I ….Did I force myself on her like last time? Amaan was anxious and was dreading what if the truth turned out to be something he didn’t want to hear.

He gave one last look towards Asmaira, and he was sure he felt his heart miss a beat, but he was confused about his own actions. With that, he immediately went to the hospital.

“So you are saying one of your colleagues spiked the drink as a part of their lousy bet, and I happen to have that drink when I met you last night?” Amaan was rephrasing what he understood from Raj’s nervous outburst.

“Yes,” was his only reply.

“And the test you did on me confirms the same?” Amaan stood from his chair while towering over Raj, clearly in a fury.

“Er, yes,” when Amaan heard Raj’s response, he kicked the chair and grabbed his collar.

“Do you have any idea what that fucking bet cost me, Raj?”

“Amaan, calm down first.”

“No, you don’t get it, do you? Dammit!. I hurt her again, I promised never to hurt her, and now I did and all because of you.” Amaan shoves Raj back into his chair while raking his hand in his hair in frustration.

Why things had to be like this when everything was going good, Amaan cursed inwards.

“Do you have any idea how much she will hate me now? How will I face her?” Amaan growled.

Raj was skeptical whether to ask his friend further, but the doctor inside him took over his emotions, and he eventually asked, “Did something bad happen last night?”

Amaan snapped at him upon hearing his question.

“Yes, a lot has happened, and now I won’t be able to live in peace for the rest of my life,” with that, Amaan left.

What he was dreading came out to be true, and now he was not sure how to face Asmaira. It took a lot of effort to bring her out of her shell and seek her forgiveness once. He promised her, and he couldn’t keep his promise. Everything was going great, and now things had turned worse, and this time he didn’t know what he should do.

Raina, will Asmaira forgive me again? he thought while sitting in his car.

The entire day, he tried to focus on his work, but Asmaira’s sleeping form was not leaving him. Did she struggle last night? I didn’t even see whether she was hurt or not?. But why do I feel jubilant?.

He expected Asmaira to be asleep by the time he returns to the mansion; much to his fright, he saw her crouched on the floor.

I had to do it. He mentally prepared himself; what he did not expect was her response. Why did she say she was also responsible. He felt an acute pain in his chest when she said it was a mistake.

The entire night he waited for Asmaira to return to their room, but she never turned up. Amaan understood she didn’t want to talk to him and respected her decision. Although he knew sooner or later, they had to talk about what happened on that night, but he was not sure how to ask her forgiveness.

On the other hand, Asmaira felt disgusted with her actions and assumptions. She hated herself for falling in love with Amaan knowing very well how much he loved Raina. Amaan had always been right. I was trying to take Raina’s place. She blamed herself for letting her emotions take control over her.