After the Cure by Deirdre Gould (top ten books of all time .txt) 📖

holding cell with Dr. Pazzo. He waited until the bailiffs released his client and Pazzo dropped onto the hard bench without comment.

“What the hell was that about?” yelled Frank. He was angrier than she had ever seen him. Angrier than the situation seemed to warrant. “If you don’t calm down Judge Hawkins is going to have you removed from court. Not to mention charge you with contempt. I hardly need to tell you, you aren’t winning any friends out there and we haven’t even got to opening statements.” Frank ran a hand over his smooth head and Nella was close enough to see the sweat at his temple.

Dr. Pazzo ignored him and turned to Nella. “Is it true?” he asked, his face almost gentle, almost the young man she’d seen on the videos, “She won’t ever get better?” Nella felt Frank looking at her in confusion but she didn’t dare to break eye contact with Dr. Pazzo.

“You really care about her?” she asked, “This whole time you acted as if she were just a fling. And now you care?”

Dr. Pazzo gripped at his thinning hair and Nella was shocked to see his eyes turning red and filling with tears. “I always cared. I always cared. But you never told me anything. Either of you.” He glared at them in turn. “You were supposed to be the best.” He spat it bitterly at Nella. “I refused to speak to four other perfectly capable doctors because I wanted you to see Ann. It took years. Years Dr. Rider.” He stood up and moved toward her. Frank instinctively stepped between them before Nella could stop him. Dr. Pazzo sneered at him as if they shared a nasty joke and Nella saw Frank’s long hand closing into a hard fist.

“What on earth are you talking about?” she asked, mostly so Frank wouldn’t hit him.

“You were supposed to bring her back. You were supposed to fix it. Fix it all. Why did she get damaged and I’m not?” Dr. Pazzo sobbed mournfully.

Nella paused and Frank shook his head in warning. She pushed forward anyway. “I don’t know Dr. Pazzo, why did she become so much more damaged than you?” She pulled the photos from the cat scan from her brief case and threw them at him. They slid glossy and bright and damning over the floor. “I’m not the one who created this thing. I can only fix what I understand. Why don’t you tell me?”

He slumped back onto the bench. Nella knelt down on one knee so that Dr. Pazzo could see her face. She picked up a photo. “This is what I understand, Robert,” she said holding it up to him. “See this dark empty void here? That’s where Ann lived. That’s where her memories of you were, all the memories of who she was meant to be. And see these small spots here? That one was where she was happy. And that one let her string together her thoughts so that I could understand what is happening in her brain, why she screams about teeth, why she can’t stop hurting herself.”

Dr. Pazzo took the photo and cradled it in one hand. “Can’t you fix it? You were supposed to fix it. You fixed others, worse off. I know. I read about it. I’ve been watching you for a very long time Dr. Rider.” He swiped at his eyes, so he didn’t see Nella pull Frank’s already swinging fist back with a sudden jerk. Frank paced to the other side of the cell and tried to breathe.

“I can’t fix what’s not there. Your bacteria ate away at her brain. She’s gone, just like everyone else who’d been exposed as long as her. The people I helped- they were still in early stages. The swelling in their brains was the problem. Not missing pieces. Not even if I had access to the best medicine and technology. Which I don’t, because the Plague took those too. Nobody this far gone can fully recover. Except you.” She waited for him to respond and Frank watched them, waiting for her to finish playing her hand. Dr. Pazzo was silent, the photo’s bright finish still flashing off of his hooded eyes. “Anything you want to tell me Robert?” Nella asked at last.

He straightened up and took a deep breath. He handed the photo back to her and she watched his face close into its severe lines again. “No,” he said. He looked at Frank, “Let’s get this over with. I’m looking forward to watching Gerta hang.”

Nella stood up. She didn’t dare to look at Frank so she busily repacked her briefcase as he and Dr. Pazzo filed back into the courtroom. She collapsed onto the bench as soon as the courtroom door closed behind them.

What have I done? She asked herself.

The day dragged on, mostly occupied by the prosecution’s opening statements and then motions by Dr. Schneider’s lawyers to suppress evidence from Dr. Carton. Nella was nervous and itchy, she wanted to fly back to the prison and search Dr. Pazzo’s cell. She was terrified by his reaction to her questioning. But it would be suspicious if she left court after Dr. Pazzo’s outburst. She’d have to wait. She tried to pretend she was taking notes. She didn’t know if Frank was angry with the delays or with something his client was goading him with or even with her, but his scar jumped and flared on his hollow cheek and his knuckles were as white as teeth as he gripped the side of the defense table. He didn’t look toward her for the rest of the day and Nella berated herself for acting rashly, for pushing Dr. Pazzo farther. But there were no more outbursts from Dr. Pazzo. He seemed calm and spoke to no one but Frank.

When the judge finally closed the day’s session, she found herself in the back of the massive crowd and it took her almost twenty minutes to make it into the parking lot. Sevita grabbed her arm and pulled her toward her towering cameras. “Sorry,” she hissed into Nella’s ear, “I have to. It would look odd after all that not to do an interview.”

Nella sighed but stood still.

“Dr. Rider, you’re the court appointed psychiatrist for the December Plague trial, is that correct?”

“Why yes, Ms. Das it is,” she said with an overly sweet smile. Nella scanned the parking lot both for Frank and the prison transport as Sevita asked her questions.

“Court was quite exciting today. You prepared the recommendation for Ann Connelly’s competency trial is that right?”

Nella just nodded absently.

“And you found her incompetent to stand trial. The judge and the prosecution agreed with you. But upon hearing this decision, Dr. Pazzo had what I can only call an extreme outburst. Yet you found him competent to be tried. Do you intend to change your position?”

Nella looked at Sevita confused. “What? I mean, no. There is a difference between a temporary outburst and Ann’s condition. Ann can’t understand what is going on around her and she is in no condition to aid in her own defense. In this case, there is no way she would get a fair trial. Dr. Pazzo simply had an emotional response to some disappointing news.”

Dr. Schneider’s lawyer walked up to Sevita’s cameras and flashed a brilliant smile. “Uh thank you Dr. Rider,” said Sevita quickly.

Nella slipped away as Sevita turned to the attractive blonde beside her. The white prison transport passed her, glowing in the early dusk. She hurried to Frank’s car. He was leaning against it, his back to her, the rest of the lot empty even of gawkers.

She curled her fingers around his hand and leaned into his side. “Sorry,” she said.

He smiled. “You? What are you sorry about?”

“I shouldn’t have pushed him so hard. I thought I could make him change his mind, get some kind of confession or something.”

“Don’t be sorry. It was a good gamble. I would have done it too, if I’d known how he felt about Ann earlier. It just didn’t work this time.”

Nella looked around to make sure they were still alone. “I need to get into his cell. I need to find those samples.”

“I know. I already called Stan. He’ll be ready to help during court on Wednesday. After today’s episode it would look odd if you weren’t in court tomorrow. Give it one more day and things will calm down.”

“You think no one will notice if I’m not there on Wednesday?”

Frank glanced at her quickly and then away. “Well- I did something that might be bad. I’m sorry, it was the only thing I could think of and I don’t think it will cause any permanent harm. At least, that’s what Johnson said.”

“What did you do?”

“I asked Johnson to call you that morning before court. She and Wells are going to make it look like Ann is having an- an episode. Dr. Pazzo can’t see into the cell and it’s fairly well soundproofed, so he’ll never know that she isn’t having one.”

“Did Johnson ask you why?”

“No. She said if it were you asking, there had to be a good reason. Anyway, it should give you plenty of time to search the prison at least. If you don’t find it there- well I’m running out of ideas.”

“I’ll find it,” she said.

 

Waiting

Tuesday dragged by in a dull gray blur filled with the voice of Dr. Schneider’s lawyer. Nella and Frank tiptoed carefully around each other, not talking about Dr. Pazzo’s outburst or the plan for Wednesday. It was a growing bubble of disease between them. Nella went to bed exhausted and sad, but couldn’t relax. The wind threading in the broken window and around the desk was strong and cold. A book was lying open on it and Nella could hear the fluttering with every gust. It was driving her mad. She tried to concentrate on her breathing, or on Frank’s, so that she could sleep, but she could sense him, stiff and moveless beside her and she knew he wasn’t sleeping either.

She sighed. “What time is it?”

Frank fumbled with the bedside clock. “Early. Too early.”

“Have you slept at all?”

“No.”

She rolled on to her side to look at him. “Is it because of tomorrow?”

“Tomorrow and today and yesterday and all the yesterdays before that. I’m sorry I took a swing at Dr. Pazzo. Thank you for stopping me. That could have been bad.” He rubbed his temple and then turned his head to face her. “The thought of him watching you all this time, planning this- it was too much. I’ve had clients I didn’t like before. I’ve even had clients that I thought were guilty. I know Dr. Pazzo isn’t guilty- at least, not of what he’s accused of. But I hate him. I’ve always felt used after I met with him, even from the beginning.