Solutions: The Dilemma of Faith by James Gerard (top romance novels .txt) 📖

had enough sense to stay out of the cold now.

 

Without notice, a rush of warmth coursed through the body.  The cold was gone.  The shivering stopped.  The mind was filled with comfort.  Death was now hanging above her ready to strike.  Beautiful images danced in the mind.

 

“You’re one stubborn woman,” a voice said.

 

“Ah, you’re taking me home.  Are you an angel?” she asked.

 

The figure hovering above reached down with arms and picked Mary off the ground.  Nestled gingerly in the figure’s arms, she smiled at the thought of going home.  The thoughts began to fade as the figure walked through the rain.  The mind and body, wrapped in a surge of spectacular warmth, succumbed to the fatigue.

 

She closed her eyes, but in the last instance of consciousness heard the figure whisper, “Sleep now Mary.”

The Awakening

Mary sighed having awakened to the comfort that enveloped her.   A fluffy pillow cradled the head, a thick and warm comforter was draped over the body, and best of all the room was serene.  A long moan of content accompanied the limbs that stretched out and a back that arched.  A hand reached over to feel a tender spot near the elbow, but the pain was minor.

 

“It couldn’t have been a dream,” she whispered with eyes closed.

 

“No Julia, it was no dream,” whispered a voice form a darkened corner.

 

Julia’s eyes popped open in response to the unfamiliar voice and gasped in terror.  The heart pounded furiously.

 

The figure in the corner stood up from a chair then came to sit on the edge of the bed.  “It wasn’t a dream Julia, but at the same time it wasn’t reality either.”

 

Her eyes fell upon the man.  The face was familiar but the voice was a mystery.   A few lingering memory lapses prevented her from identifying the man, but the name “Julia” came back in a flash; the world came crashing down upon her.  Then, the dream that was not a dream inflicted the mind with the cold reality of a life that had been intentionally devastated.

 

She swallowed down the lump in the throat that had attempted to silence the tongue.  “Who are you?”

 

“My name is Michael…” he hesitated then laughed, “we sort of ran into each other at the hospital—remember?”

 

As if the crushing pain had been inflicted just yesterday, tears welled up and quickly flowed off the face.  Julia whispered, “How could they have done that?”

 

Michael embraced her.  “I am so sorry that you have to go through this again.”

 

“Why?” she cried.

 

“Frederick has all the answers you’re seeking Julia,” said Michael as he stood and walked to the door.  “Ask him.”

 

She curled up in a ball as the agonizing memories gushed forth and flooded the mind.  Tears gushed out as the truth was remembered.  Wailing ensued as the lie was peeled away and exposed its cruel flesh.

 

An envelope was flung onto the bed.  Julia looked but dared not open it for fear of its contents.  The realization that the contents inside would refresh such intense emotional pain that the heart would die yet again, and she knew that was something she could not face a second time.

 

“My dearest Julia, don’t be afraid,” a voice whispered.  “He hasn’t taken you this far to add yet more pain.  Let him be strong so you can face the truth.”

 

“I can’t Frederick.  I just can’t do it,” Julia wailed.

 

“Let Him do it for you.”

 

Julia looked deep in the darkness of the heart to find a glimpse of what Frederick was talking about, but the darkness was too thick to spot any glimmer of light.

 

The sound of the ripping envelope screamed with a horrific echo of a heart torn apart.  The vibration of the envelope’s contents dropping on the comforter made the presence of the truth known.  Julia opened the blinded eyes and reached out to a photograph with a smile and eyes of sparkling jewels staring her right in the face.  

 

“My beautiful little Mel...Jennifer,” cried Julia as the photograph was touched with a gentle kiss.  Eyes stared at the photograph of her dead daughter and then caught the glimpse of the shining piece of metal in the background—the crucifix that led to her murder so many years ago.

 

The gut wrenching pain reached agonizing heights as the knowledge of all that she had been told, from the accident to the life she had lived, was based on a lie to disguise the cruelty that had raped her of innocence.

 

“Jennifer loved it so Julia.  I was there when you gave it to her,” whispered Frederick.

 

“I told her it was to be kept secret.  Over and over again,” Julia moaned as the tears streamed out, “I told her to only wear it at home.”

 

“I know,” he acknowledged in soft and hushed tone.   “But your precious little girl didn’t love it because it was a shiny piece of metal; she loved it because she saw our Lord.”

 

“But I told her….”

 

“I know, but our Lord led her contrary to your wishes Julia.”

 

“How could He have done that?” she cried.

 

“How can we know our Lord’s thoughts my precious?  But by Faith, He had His purpose. ”

 

“She was only five years old.  He should’ve shown mercy towards her?”

 

“Again Julia, His will was done.  And by Faith, I have no doubt that she is in His loving embrace even as we speak.”

 

Mary became numb to Fredrick’s embrace as waves of pain, swelling up and breaking the barrier from the long lost memories, came crashing down on reality.  The night when she received the call about her daughter rang with agonizing truth, but the same night in which the gloom of the violent storm filled the streets with darkness and dangerous turns, the night by which her frantic driving caused the car to slide out of control into the opposite lane and led to the head-on collision, was based on a lie.

 

Julia now remembered the crash, but the collision was instigated by the car that intentionally swerved into her lane to snuff out the final witness to Councilman Torres’ dirty little secret.  She remembered when she received the call how panic had set in.  It was a panic that called for a frantic search for the crucifix.  It was also a failed search that spoke her daughter’s fate, for she and Jennifer were to be snuffed out to cover up a dirty little secret.  And that dirty little secret was held in the bowels of Councilman Torres, the man that had raped her, impregnated her, and the man who bided his time until he could rid the remnants of the carnal act before it could be made known  He was not about to let anyone ruin the reputation that had been cultivated by a lust for power and flourished in a life of absolute control.

 

She wondered why she had been spared while recovering in the hospital.  The opportunity for any of Torres’ henchmen to walk on in unquestioned, and by means of their choice to eliminate the lie went undone.  But before that could be explored from the vantage point of a busted body and broken spirit she had succumbed to the efforts of the experts determined to erase all knowledge of the truth and fed her the lie.

 

“Why didn’t you stop it?  Wasn’t I worthy enough as one of your devoted staff members?”

 

“By the time I heard what had happened, it was too late to do anything for Jennifer.  I am so sorry my dear.  Her death came by a summary execution intended to teach the children in the classroom loyalty to Torres, not to the God he rejects.”

 

Agonizing pangs of pain stabbed at the heart as she thought about how they killed her precious little Jennifer with such cruelty, without any understanding or regard of innocent motivations.

 

“With you Julia, I did intervene and had you removed to a place where our brothers and sisters could look after you, but it came at a price—I could not stop the doctors.  I am sorry about that too, but by Faith I was moved by our Lord to do that.”

 

“Then how could He have allowed it?” she wailed.  “How could He abandon me like that?”

 

“Julia,” Councilman Neumann whispered, “how could you possibly think that He ever left your side in the first place?  He has always been there for you.  He was there at the hospital that night and he was there Julia, when Michael—yes, the man that came to you for help that night, and yes, wearing Jennifer’s crucifix.  He was there when the driver gave you the ride to the outskirts of the city.  He was there when our brother kept you hidden the first time, and he was there when the worker scared you off.  He was there when our brother kept you hidden a second time.  He was there when Michael, the man you rescued that night, the man who spotted you on the road and got out just to follow you in case you needed a loving hand.  He was the man who was out there the whole time with you in the cold and the rain and relied on our Lord for the strength to endure.  He was the man who picked you up and carried you here, a place where we always meet—a place He directed you to.  And you dare to think He abandoned you?”

 

“But why?” she wailed.

 

Frederick paused.  “To bring you back.”

 

“Oh my Lord,” she whispered, “I can’t take this pain.”

 

“You don’t have to.  There are six of your brothers and sisters just on the other side of the door who for two days were in constant prayer to our Lord to bring you back.  He assembled all the help you required, all the right people who had the skills and training to revive you from the brutal cold that had you on the brink of death.”

 

“How can I go on?” she whimpered.

 

Frederick embraced her trembling body.  “Have patience my dear.  He took His time tearing you down just to build you back up.  Can’t you here the angels singing triumphant songs of joy?”

 

“I can’t do this,” she cried.

 

“Then good Julia, as with everything, let Him do it for you like He has always done.”

 

“I miss her so much.”

 

“I know my dear—He knows.  If it’s any comfort to you, she has become a martyr amongst us: The little girl who wasn’t afraid.”

 

All through the night Councilman Neumann sat with Julia while she cried, embraced her with whisperings about the love of their Lord until the light of the morning broke through the stormy skies.

 

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