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Mike is looking to become the biggest R-rated, G-stringed movie of all time. It’s literally a mom pornucopia.” This one-two punch in support of women’s rights to sexual expression sparked debate over cultural double standards on sexuality, and it peeled back a corner of a world not often discussed—erotica and softcore pornography.
Erotica has been around for thousands of years. Strictly speaking, the term is used to describe sexually explicit material—whether in painting, photography, sculpture, or literature—that is perceived to be tasteful. This form of art, while it can result in the sexual arousal of the viewer, is ultimately defined by a desire to elevate sexuality to something captivating and beautiful.
Today, when the average person mentions erotica, he is not talking about


Michelangelo’s David. More than likely, he is talking about a mild form of pornography. It’s not hard-core, because it doesn’t blatantly show certain aspects of sexuality, and it may involve an element of intellect and romance. The line between erotica and pornography, especially soft-core, is often blurred, and the two overlap.67
Like the line between erotica and pornography, the line between soft-core and hard-core pornography is also undefined. Soft-core, like hard-core, consists of film and photographed images. Unlike hard-core pornography, soft-core does not generally show genitalia and may use strategic camera angles and prop placement to hide body parts. Still, “someone who is unused to viewing pornography may view some soft-core works as hard-core. An individual who regularly consumes porn may feel that some porn in the hard-core category is actually soft-core.

Take, for instance, pro-sex porn movements such as Make Love Not Porn. This movement recognizes pornography itself is a poor sexual educator. So, instead of showcasing mainstream pornography with its bronzed, big-busted blondes, Make Love Not Porn showcases “real sex” between real couples in order to show viewers what real sex is like and how it differs from the sex in the porn industry.9 This may seem like a healthy alternative to aggressive and misogynistic mainstream pornography.
In this sense, both erotica and soft-core pornography have existed for millennia. In the nineteenth century, so-called French postcards were a type of precursor to Playboy, which was originally soft-core pornography.10 Since it predates the Internet and is missing many of the aggressive elements that make up hard-core pornography, it may seem to be a healthier alternative.

 

 

After all, it is only words, or only pictures. But does that really mean it is a healthier choice?
If we take Fifty Shades of Grey as an example, the answer would be no, for a number of reasons. Since its publication, much has been said about the violent nature of the sex portrayed in Fifty Shades. Although we might think that words are not as damaging as pictures, it turns out they can be. In a recent study, psychologists found that women who read Fifty Shades of Grey were more likely to accept behaviors found in abusive relationships. Among other things, the women were 25 percent more likely to have verbally abusive partners. Those tendencies may have existed before they read the book or as a result of reading the book, but either way, the book clearly endorses the beliefs that undergird abusive relationships.11 It turns out that words can be just as effective as pictures and movies when it comes to normalizing abusive behavior
A study published in the Journal of Women’s Health found that emotional abuse is present in nearly every interaction in Fifty Shades, including stalking, intimidation, isolation, and the use of alcohol to compromise consent. The main character, Anastasia, experiences the typical reactions of an abused woman, including nausea induced by the sense of menace she experiences in her sexual encounters.12
Some might say that Fifty Shades is an extreme form of erotica. But the novel got its start as a piece of online fan fiction, a form of writing that is often highly sexual in nature. Fan fiction has been called a phenomenon of the digital age, with millions of authors worldwide.13 Its authors essentially write spinoff stories based on characters from popular movies, books, or TV shows. Fifty Shades of Grey was originally published as Twilight fan fiction. (And it’s worth noting that Twilight also received some flak for normalizing an abusive sexual relationship.14)
To the casual observer, fan fiction might seem harmless. There is nothing wrong with amateur authors practicing story writing with existing characters or public figures. But fan-fiction stories are typically not tame by any stretch of the imagination. On one popular fan-fiction site, roughly 75 percent of the stories are sexual in nature.15 “When Disney was trying to promulgate the story that the Jonas Brothers were strict Christians who wore rings to symbolize their commitment to not putting it about, fan fiction sites were full of stories of girls being ravished by the band in incestuous foursomes.”16
But why does it matter? Shouldn’t we celebrate creativity and allow people to express themselves sexually?
Fifty Shades of Grey is a perfect example of a piece of erotic / pornographic literature that went mainstream.

It is the fastest-selling paperback ever.17 After this piece of “mommy porn” was turned into a movie (rated R, mind you), sex stores saw an increase in sex-toy sales—and not just any sex toys but bondage sex toys, just like those used in the book, and, subsequently, the movie. One store reported a 92 percent increase in sales of such toys, and as one customer said, “The book definitely inspired me. I want to buy the handcuffs, the beads, the feather. It was all so hot.”18
So, instead of asking whether erotica is a healthier alternative to pornography, perhaps you should be asking whether it is an alternative at all.

 

 

 

 

Note: Few minutes of relief... let's put it like a god complex... few minutes... just few minutes... and the next few hours... scrutiny

 

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6 Tips to Stop Overthinking

 

 

Note:  So for few drops of happiness... we want and in the end we get shame, disgust, fucked up, screw up and even angry.

 

 

 

 

Whether they beat themselves up over a mistake they made yesterday or fret about how they’re going to succeed tomorrow, overthinkers are plagued by distressing thoughts—and their inability to get out of their own heads leaves them in a state of constant anguish.

While everyone overthinks things once in a while, some people just can’t ever seem to quiet the constant barrage of thoughts. Their inner monologue includes two destructive thought patterns—ruminating and worrying.

 

Ruminating involves rehashing the past:

I shouldn’t have spoken up in the meeting today. Everyone looked at me like I was an idiot. I could have stuck it out at my old job. I would be happier if I would have just stayed there. My parents always said I wouldn’t amount to anything. And they were right.

Worrying involves negative—often catastrophic—predictions about the future:

I’m going to embarrass myself tomorrow when I give that presentation. My hands will shake, my face will turn red, and everyone will see that I’m incompetent. I’ll never get promoted. It doesn’t matter what I do. It’s not going to happen. My spouse is going to find someone better than I am. I’m going to end up divorced and alone.

Overthinkers don’t just use words to contemplate their lives. Sometimes, they conjure up images. too. They may envision their car going off the road or replay a distressing event in their minds like a movie. Either way, their tendency to overthink everything holds them back from doing something productive.

 

The Dangers Of Overthinking

 

Thinking too much about things isn’t just a nuisance; it can take a serious toll on your well-being. Research(link is external) finds that dwelling on your shortcomings, mistakes, and problems increases your risk of mental-health problems. And as your mental health declines, your tendency to ruminate increases, leading to a vicious cycle that is hard to break.

Studies(link is external) also show that overthinking leads to serious emotional distress. To escape that distress, many overthinkers resort to unhealthy coping strategies, such as alcohol or food.

 

If you’re an overthinker, you likely already know you can’t sleep when your mind won’t shut off. Studies(link is external) confirm this, finding that rumination and worry lead to fewer hours of sleep and poorer sleep quality.

 

How To Stop Overthinking

 

Putting an end to rehashing, second-guessing, and catastrophic predictions is easier said than done. But with consistent practice, you can limit your negative thinking patterns:

 

1. Notice When You’re Thinking Too Much

 

Awareness is the first step in putting an end to overthinking. Start paying attention to the way you think. When you notice yourself replaying events in your mind over and over, or worrying about things you can’t control, acknowledge that your thoughts aren’t productive.

 

2. Challenge Your Thoughts

 

It’s easy to get carried away with negative thoughts. Before you conclude that calling in sick is going to get you fired, or that forgetting one deadline is going to cause you to become homeless, acknowledge that your thoughts may be exaggeratedly negative. Learn to recognize and replace thinking errors before they work you into a complete frenzy.

 

3. Keep The Focus On Active Problem-Solving

 

Dwelling on your problems isn’t helpful, but looking for solutions is. Ask yourself what steps you can take to learn from a mistake or avoid a future problem. Instead of asking whysomething happened, ask yourself what you can do about it.

 

4. Schedule Time For Reflection

 

Stewing on problems for long periods of time isn’t productive, but brief reflection can be helpful. Thinking about how you could do things differently or recognizing potential pitfalls to a plan, for example, can help you do better in the future. Incorporate 20 minutes of “thinking time” into your daily schedule. During this time, let yourself worry, ruminate, or mull over whatever you want. Then, when the time is up, move onto something more productive. When you notice yourself overthinking things outside of your scheduled time, remind yourself that you’ll think about it later.

 

5. Practice Mindfulness

 

It’s impossible to rehash yesterday or worry about tomorrow when you’re living in the present. Commit to becoming more aware of the here and now. Mindfulness takes practice, like any other skill, but over time, it can decrease overthinking.

 

6. Change The Channel

 

Telling yourself to stop thinking about something can backfire. The more you try to avoid the thought from entering your brain, the more likely it is to keep popping up. Busying yourself with an activity is the best way to change the channel. Exercise, engage in conversation on a completely different subject, or get working on a project that will distract your mind from a barrage of negative thoughts.

 

 

 

 

 

How to Stop the Weird Thoughts Caused By Anxiety

 

Note: The Same happen and to me, anxiety makes you worried. Getting worried by itself it will make you depressed...  

 

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Aka Social Awkwardness

 

 

 

 

 

How to Stop the Weird Thoughts Caused By Anxiety

 

Anxiety genuinely affects the way you think. That's one of the reasons that so few people treat it. They have all of these weird thoughts and they feel so natural that they think there is either something wrong with them or that there is nothing wrong at all. Few people actually realize that anxiety changes how you see things and how you view things, and makes them all worse.

So when anxiety starts causing weird thoughts, few people actually get help. Instead, they try to fight the thoughts themselves, and ultimately only make these weird thoughts worse.

 

Weird Thoughts = Anxiety?

 

Weird thoughts may simply be thoughts. Many people have unusual day dreams or awkward fantasies, and in general they mean nothing. When these thoughts start controlling your life, that's when anxiety is often the cause. Take my free 7 minute anxiety test to learn more about your anxiety and its solutions.

Start the test here.

 

What Defines a Weird Thought?

 

The reality is that there are many thoughts that are completely normal - even strange thoughts that make you feel awkward or uncomfortable once in a while. It's not about the thoughts themselves, it's about how they impact your life.

If you're finding that these weird thoughts are causing you significant distress, and often either cause anxiety themselves or occur during periods of anxiety, that's when an anxiety problem is likely. Take my anxiety test to find out more.

 

Examples of Weird Thoughts

 

The occasional weird thought doesn't generally cause that much distress. A problem usually occurs when either the

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