Brain on Porn (Social #1) by DeYtH Banger (ereader android .TXT) 📖

female employees?

How can it be ethical to say that “porn is okay because participants give their consent,” when we know for a fact that some—probably much more than you think—do not?



13. Porn Can Seriously Hurt Your Family & Personal Life

Study after study has shown that porn viewers are less stable in their relationships [78] and have higher rates of infidelity [79] and divorce. [80] They are also less committed to their partners; [81] less satisfied in their relationships, [82] and more cynical about marriage, love, and relationships in general. [83]

All of those factors can gradually eat away at the love, trust, and mutual respect at the core of any relationship. But porn has other effects that are not nearly so subtle, like the humiliation, abandonment, and betrayal that someone feels when their spouse’s porn habit is discovered. [84] (See How Porn Can Hurt Your Partner) Even if they don’t consider it technically cheating, it’s hard not to feel some sense of betrayal at learning their spouse has been using someone else’s body to get aroused. [85]



14. Porn Is Connected To Violence

Not all porn features physical violence, but even non-violent porn has been shown to have effects on viewers. The vast majority of porn—violent or not—portrays men as powerful and in charge; while women are submissive and obedient. [86] Watching scene after scene of dehumanizing submission makes it start to seem normal. [87] It sets the stage for lopsided power dynamics in couple relationships and the gradual acceptance of verbal and physical aggression against women. [88] Research has confirmed that those who watch porn (even if it’s nonviolent) are more likely to support statements that promote abuse and sexual aggression toward women and girls. [89]

But porn doesn’t just change attitudes; it can also shape actions. In 2016, a team of leading researchers compiled all the research they could find on the subject. [90] After examining twenty-two studies they concluded that the research left, “little doubt that, on the average, individuals who consume pornography more frequently are more likely to hold attitudes conducive [favorable] to sexual aggression and engage in actual acts of sexual aggression.”



15. Porn Is Changing To Be More Shocking & Hardcore Than Ever

As Internet porn grew more popular; it also turned darker, more graphic, and more extreme. With so much porn available, pornographers tried to compete for attention by constantly pushing the boundaries. [91] “Thirty years ago ‘hardcore’ pornography usually meant the explicit depiction of sexual intercourse,” writes Dr. Norman Doidge, a neuroscientist and author of The Brain That Changes Itself. “Now hardcore has evolved and is increasingly dominated by the sadomasochistic themes … all involving scripts fusing sex with hatred and humiliation.” [92] In our post-Playboy world, porn now features degradation, abuse, and humiliation of females in a way never before seen in the mass media. [93] “[S]oftcore is now what hardcore was a few decades ago,” Doidge explains. “The comparatively tame softcore pictures of yesteryear … now show up on mainstream media all day long, in the pornification of everything, including television, rock videos, soap operas, advertisements, and so on.” [94]

Technology has changed not only the content of the porn young people watch, but also how, when, and at what age they watch it. By the time they turn 14 years old, two out of three boys in the U.S. have viewed porn in the last year, [95] and many are watching it on devices they have with them 24 hours a day. Wow. How can any of this be healthy?

 

 

 

 

How Porn Kills Love







Sure, porn is fake, but what’s wrong with a little harmless fantasy? The problem is, porn isn’t harmless at all. Studies show that viewing porn makes consumers more critical of their partner and less satisfied with their romantic relationship and sex life. Not only does porn impact romantic relationships, but porn influences the ways individuals view themselves, as well their friends, family members, and others around them. And as if that wasn’t bad enough, porn also changes the ways that individuals view the hobbies and passions they used to love!

Porn looks like a newer, slicker version of love. Love 2.0. It’s like love, but easy, fast, and cheap.

In porn, finding a “partner” is effortless. He or she is always ready, willing, and longing for your attention. This partner has nothing else to do with their time but wait for the consumer, breathless and perpetually aroused. He or she is young, attractive, sexually adventurous, and anxious to please. This partner will never get bored or annoyed, never have an “off” day or need a listening ear. In fact, all he or she will ever want is wild, ecstatic orgasms that look real! And if this porn-partner ever fails to keep the consumer entertained, they can simply be exchanged with the click of a computer mouse. [1]

Sure, it’s all fake, but advocates of porn say, “So what? What’s wrong with a little harmless fantasy?” The problem is, it’s not harmless. The problem is that internet pornography has a number of unique properties, such as limitless novelty, on-demand accessibility, and easy escalation to more extreme material, that can condition someone’s sexual arousal to aspects of pornography consumption that do not readily transition to real-life partners. As this happens, real life sex may not register as meeting expectations, and arousal declines.

Maybe that is why counselor’s offices and divorce courts are filling up with couples who have found that, in reality, porn is killing love in their romantic relationships.

An increasing number of couples in therapy report that pornography is causing difficulties in their relationships. [2] Research shows that pornography consumption is linked to less stability in relationships, [3] increased risk of infidelity, [4] and greater likelihood of divorce. [5] While this applies to men and women, studies have found that men who are exposed to porn find their partner less sexually attractive and rate themselves as less in love with their partner. [6] A recent study tracked couples over a six year period, from 2006 to 2012, to see what factors influenced the quality of their marriage and their satisfaction with their sex lives. The researchers found that of all the factors considered, porn use was the second strongest indicator that a marriage would suffer. [7] Not only that but the marriages that were harmed the most were those of individuals who viewed porn heavily, once a day or more. [8]

But it’s not just married couples who are harmed by porn. Unmarried couples in romantic relationships who view pornography together experience twice the rate of infidelity as couples where partners watch it individually and alone, and three times more than couples who don’t watch porn at all. [9] A recent study of romantically involved people (most of whom were not married) found that those who used porn frequently were most likely to have lower satisfaction and intimacy in their relationship. [10]

Why do porn consumers struggle so much in real life relationships? The science is pretty clear.

Research shows that porn users report less love and trust in their relationships, are more prone to separation and divorce, and often see marriage as a “constraint.” [11] Overall, they are less committed to their partners, [12] less satisfied in their relationships, [13] and more cynical about love and relationships in general. [14] They also have poorer communication with their partners and are more likely to agree that, in their own relationships, “little arguments escalate into ugly fights with accusations, criticisms, name-calling, and bringing up past hurts.” [15]

And, as if that’s not enough, porn also ruins a couple’s sex life. [16] (See How Porn Damages Your Sex Life.)

But is this just a “chicken and egg” scenario? Is porn really damaging relationships, or are people turning to porn because they’re in relationships that are already suffering?

Probably both, according to Dr. Ana Bridges, a psychologist at the University of Arkansas. [17] When a couple hits a rough patch, one partner may use porn for distraction or relief, and their partner may be hurt by their porn use because it makes them feel unattractive and insecure, like he or she is being compared to porn performers and the fantasy of porn. [18] The hurt partner may pull away emotionally, which might make the porn-consuming partner feel more distant, so he or she deals with their stress by turning to more porn, and round and round they go. (See How Porn Hurts A Consumer’s Partner.)

No wonder many partners of porn users end up depressed, anxious, and feeling like they can never measure up to the impossible standard of porn. [19] (See How Porn Can Hurt Your Partner.) The truth is, they have good reason to worry. In porn, mistakes are edited out and flaws are Photoshopped away. Porn actors have a whole team there to make them look fantastic, and once their best performance is captured on film, it never ages. Who wants to compete with that? [20]

Regardless of how a consumer’s romantic relationship is being impacted by porn, as human beings, we interact with different people daily, in a number of ways. One of the dangers of porn is that it can distort the way a consumer sees people, causing him or her to see friends, family members, coworkers, or strangers on the street only as a sum of body parts, discarding their humanity. [21] Essentially, porn tells consumers that people are objects with the sole purpose of providing sexual satisfaction, and that’s unhealthy for relationships, romantic or otherwise. [22]

Not long ago, Princeton psychologists performed a study showing a group of men pictures of men and women, some barely clothed and some not. The psychologists monitored their medial prefrontal cortex (mPFC), which is involved in recognizing human faces and distinguishing one person from another. For the most part, the mPFC was activated with each picture. However, when the subjects of the study were shown the pictures of scantily clothed people, it was not activated. [23] Basically, the automatic reaction in their brains suggested that they didn’t perceive the sexualized people as fully human. Just as a body, a sum of parts.

Obviously, porn is not the best representation of how real men and women look or how real sex and intimacy work in a real-life relationship. And yet, whether they realize it or not, porn consumers are affected by the portrayals they see in porn even after the browser window is closed. [24]

While it may not always be “romantic love,” porn can kill love in friendships, relationships with family members, and others in porn consumer’s lives. And it doesn’t stop there, porn also has the potential to kill the love consumers have for themselves. Ultimately, this often leaves porn consumers feeling lonely. [25]

There is a healthy amount of love every individual has for themselves that promotes good self-esteem, confidence, and overall a positive quality of life. Since porn depicts men and women as being nothing more than sex objects, porn consumers can start to subconsciously think of themselves that way, as nothing more than sex objects. [26] Because it can be hard to reach out to friends and family to explain how they are feeling and how they are struggling with porn, many people turn to the easiest source of immediate “comfort” available: more porn. This can lead to a vicious cycle of isolation and self-loathing. [27]

As a porn consumer finds himself or herself further down this cycle, an isolating porn habit can lead consumers to skip out on interacting with friends, trying new hobbies or participating in old ones, and ultimately connecting with the people in their lives. [28] This is all because consumers’ brains have become so reliant on porn that it can start to make them think they will be happier watching porn than participating in those real-life experiences. [29]

Breaking free of this cycle, reaching out for help, finding support, and establishing healthy forms of intimacy in one’s life can eliminate the poor self-esteem caused by porn. Many people who have broken free of a porn habit have reported greater happiness, better self-esteem, improved mental health, and happier relationships.

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“I can see beauty in so many different