Desertion by Chris Gordon (ebook audio reader TXT) 📖

"My Daddy always says 'If you don't think too good, don't think too much.' No offense, Riley." I shouldn't have said that.

Riley looked at me for a time then said, "Your Daddy's probably right about that."

"So what are you thinking about?"

"Just what I should be doing. Everybody tells me something different. I don't know what's right." He got up and walked back to his lean-to.

I didn't know what he meant. "I don't understand, Riley. What's this all about?"

"You'd better get on home Diane Marie."

On the way home I figured that Riley must be a deserter and in big trouble. They shot deserters, didn't they? I wanted to help him. I believed he needed me, and no one ever had needed me before. I kept on visiting him and we talked a lot about what he should do. Finally, I convinced him to turn himself in and he did.

I found out later that he was court martialled and convicted but rather than being sent to prison, he was returned to Ft. Hood to repeat his basic training. He sent me a letter from there. It said he would soon be off to Viet Nam. I didn't hear from him again. I guess he probably got killed over there.

So, you see what I mean about everybody being better off if I wasn’t around. I sure wish I knew what to do about that.

~~~

So there it is, the story I wrote when I was 13 or 14 and just discovering what life was all about. I can remember feeling guilty and sorry for myself for a year or two but I got over it. Later I did learn what became of Riley, whose name really was Riley. Riley Odums.

He did get sent to Viet Nam from Ft. Hood. On his second day there he stepped on a booby trap and lost both his legs. He then spent years in a succession of army and VA hospitals. I met him again in one of those hospitals and we eventually became friends. Here’s part of what he told me.

When he joined the army he was sent to Ft. Hood for basic training. He had nearly finished and was expecting to soon be shipped out to Viet Nam, when word arrived that his mother had passed away. He was given leave to return home for the funeral. His father had died two years earlier and the only close relative he had left was his sister Annabelle. She was attending college up north where she got involved in the anti-war movement. At the funeral she tried to talk Riley into going AWOL, perhaps to Canada, instead of Viet Nam. She terrified him with stories she had heard, not so much about the horrors he might face but those he might be forced to commit. But others in town were saying how proud of him they were for defending his country. His sister said the country didn't need defending against the Vietnamese. In his confusion he did what he had always done when confused - he ran away and hid. That’s when I met him.

In high school I had so many other things to think about that I forgot about Riley. When I was a senior I worked at the five and dime after school and on Saturdays, and saved enough money to buy a used car, a nine year old Vega.

After graduation, I got a job at the newspaper in Elizabeth City. Seeing a lot of stories about veterans and MIAs, I began to wonder what had become of Riley. Had he really been killed in Viet Nam or had he just forgotten about me? One Sunday I drove to Mackeys to see if I could find anyone who knew him. I found a woman who still kept in touch with Riley's sister. She was married and living in Pittsburgh. I called Annabelle but learned nothing. She still blamed me for Riley being a double amputee and in a hospital, but she wouldn’t tell me which one. She told me “He needs people around him who know what’s best for him’” I guess I knew what she meant by that.

I kept calling different army offices and finally learned that Riley was now in a VA hospital in Richmond. I drove there to visit him and we had some long talks. I met a woman there named Leigh Ann who was helping disabled vets become re-integrated. I wished I lived closer so I could help with that. But I liked my job at the paper and didn’t want to leave.

Leigh Ann and I eventually worked out a plan for Riley to settle in Elizabeth City where I could help look after him. Then I met Cyrus, a young man who worked with my father. We got married two months later. When Cy was transferred to Alaska, I went along after making arrangements for others to look after Riley. But I always felt guilty about deserting him, even after my first child was born, a boy we named Bryan. I wanted to move back to Elizabeth City, and that became a continuing argument that led, among other problems, to divorce after six years. I returned to Elizabeth City with Bryan and got my job back at the paper.

Billy Parker was still in town, working at the Ford dealership. My old crush on him had never quite left me and I married him soon after returning to town. But the remnants of an old crush proved not to be an adequate basis for a sustainable marriage, particularly with Billy's growing addiction to sports gambling. I divorced him after we had been forced to declare bankruptcy. In the turmoil, I lost my job at the paper but found a new one nearby at the print shop.

I then moved in with Don, a new guy in town who worked for the power company. We were married after my second son, Seth, was born. But that marriage also ended in divorce when I discovered he was having an affair with Dwayne Cooper's wife.

I guess I’m just not cut out to be married. I’ve got my two boys, my six dogs, my three ex-husbands, my daddy and my momma, and my job at the print shop. On most weekends I drive to the Outer Banks where I can make some extra dough cleaning houses.

One thing that all three husbands shared was a belief that I cared more about Riley than about them. They were right about that but I was never unfaithful to any of them. From the very beginning I saw Riley as a child, my child, even though he was eight years older. I could never desert him any more than I could desert my other two boys.

I visit Riley nearly every day, taking him shopping, driving him to the doctor, helping him take care of his apartment, and seeing that his disability check gets deposited and that his bills get paid. I’ve never told him I love him, or that I’m sorry for all that had happened to him because of me. Riley has never shown any sign that he thinks about things like that. I don’t mind. I finally know the reason I’m here.

Publication Date: 11-29-2016

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