Shame by Rebekah Jennings - © Copyright (best way to read e books txt) 📖

except that her name was Sarah, she attended school, she was twelve, she had run away from home once; and her father was trying to have sex with her, the poor love.

You hadn’t even a bed ready in the spare room. Luckily the agency had agreed to pay for one so you’d been down and purchased it from the local furniture shop earlier today. Your husband would put it together later. He was at work but you phoned him and he was pleased as well.

“When do we start getting some money?” He’d asked you. "Soon, soon" you'd soothed.

“Now don’t ask a million questions of her when you get home and don’t make any stupid jokes about her family or about sex.”

“What do you take me for?” he’d said to you. You could picture him shaking his head and you shook yours.

It was early afternoon and you were expecting the police to drop her off any moment. She wouldn’t be coming with any of her belongings. They’d come later you were told.

The door bell rang. You crossed the room quickly, your heart a flutter. You opened the door, a big smile across your face. “Hi, I’m Jackie.” You say and your eyes rest on this girl. You take in her face, so young and innocent. She looks at you too. Her eyes touching every part of you. She’s pretty the poor love you think. So pretty.

Me

I looked at this strange lady. I’d been driven here straight from school. The house was tidy and newish looking. I could smell a floral type scent, it was nice. The woman, Jackie they told me, was staring. I knew Jackie would see my faults quickly, how ugly I am and how stupid. Jackie’s clothing wasn’t stylish but I knew Mum would say they had money. I was so ashamed I couldn’t look at her so I looked at my feet instead.

Sandra Bullock introduced Jackie to me and then said to me privately, more closely, “We’re going to leave you here now and a worker from the foster care agency will be in contact shortly, okay?”

I was really scared and though I didn’t know Sandra Bullock anymore than Jackie, I knew I liked Sandra better and I didn’t want to be left. I said nothing. I watched them leave and then looked at my feet. Jackie invited me inside and showed me the house. She was proud of it. I would be too. It was much tidier than at our house. I felt ashamed again and went back to looking at my feet. I knew I looked too dirty to be standing here.

After showing me my room Jackie left me alone for a bit to unpack and stuff. She said she’d make me a snack and to come out when I was ready. I wondered what that snack would be. I felt bad for Mum that I might like the snack and I didn’t want to be in this house with this strange woman and more than anything, I didn’t want to meet Jackie’s husband. Jackie said he’d be home soon.

¬¬You

You invited Sarah into the house and showed her around. You had a lot of rules to tell Sarah but you didn’t want to scare her off so you thought you’d wait a little while before you both sat down to discuss the placement.

Sarah was so shy and she wouldn’t hold eye contact with you. You wanted so desperately to form a bond with this girl. You were sure she’d like your house though.

You and your husband had worked very hard to make this home a nice place. You’d cleaned it meticulously so that it would meet the approval of the agency staff, that was another check they’d put you through. So you wanted to make sure it stayed that way and those were some of the rules you were hoping to talk to Sarah about. You didn’t want her eating in her room and you wondered if she smoked. You were hoping she’d have pride in your house the way you did, but you were sure she would.

You decided to let Sarah get used to her room for a little while. After meeting her and showing her around you needed to get your head together and take a breather. You set about getting a cake ready that you’d bought. Your husband would be home any minute.

Sarah had been in her room for about half an hour now, you’d hoped she’d come out on her own. You almost felt too nervous to go back to her there. The moment your husband walked in the door he started talking about Sarah, asking questions about her. You shushed him with your finger, your eyes wide and reprimanding.

“Where is she?” Your husband whispered.

“In her bedroom. I’ve given her some space for a bit in there.” Your husband walked in the direction of Sarah’s room.

“No.” You said, moving to block his way. “It might frighten her.” He stood looking at you. You at him.

“I’ll get her.” You said.

You walked quietly to her bedroom door and knocked to let her know you were there, looking back at your husband with a smile. You were excited and more relaxed now that your husband was home.

Sarah didn’t answer and you thought about how shy she was and how scared she must be. Your concentration back on the door you knock again and this time open the door.

You look about the room but it is empty. Sarah’s wasn’t in there. You walk into the room and look under the bed and in the closet. Nothing. The bedroom window grabs your attention. It is wide open and you notice almost instantly that the fly screen is missing and you see it on the ground outside. You scan what part of the street you can see from your position. There is no sign of Sarah.

“She’s gone.” You say, astonished and suddenly worried about what the agency will think of you.

“I knew this wasn’t a good idea,” your husband says, “I knew right from the word go. Those kids are nothing but trouble. You better check your purse. Has anything been taken from in here?”

Me

I ran as fast as I could. Once I was several streets away I slowed and sat on the concrete path to catch my breath. What now?
THE END

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Publication Date: 01-28-2010

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