Something New by Pelham Grenville Wodehouse (rom com books to read .TXT) 📖
- Author: Pelham Grenville Wodehouse
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Chapter 9 Pg 162
"And, Baxter, My Dear Fellow," Said Lord Emsworth, "You Might
Telephone To Doctor Bird, In Market Blandings, And Ask Him To Be
Good Enough To Drive Out. I Am Sorry, Freddie," He Added, "That
You Should Have Met With This Accident; But--But Everything Is
So--So Disturbing Nowadays That I Feel--I Feel Most Disturbed."
Ashe And The Honorable Freddie Began To Move Across The
Hall--Freddie Hopping, Ashe Advancing With A Sort Of Polka Step.
As They Reached The Stairs There Was A Sound Of Wheels Outside
And The Vanguard Of The House Party, Returned From Church,
Entered The House.
"It's All Very Well To Give It Out Officially That Freddie Has
Fallen Downstairs And Sprained His Ankle," Said Colonel Horace
Mant, Discussing The Affair With The Bishop Of Godalming Later In
The Afternoon; "But It's My Firm Belief That That Fellow Baxter
Did Precisely As I Said He Would--Ran Amuck And Inflicted Dashed
Frightful Injuries On Young Freddie. When I Got Into The House
There Was Freddie Being Helped Up The Stairs, While Baxter, With
His Face Covered With Soot, Was Looking After Him With A Sort Of
Evil Grin. What Had He Smeared His Face With Soot For, I Should
Like To Know, If He Were Perfectly Sane?
"The Whole Thing Is Dashed Fishy And Mysterious And The Sooner I
Can Get Mildred Safely Out Of The Place, The Better I Shall Be
Pleased. The Fellow's As Mad As A Hatter!"
Chapter 10 Pg 163
When Lord Emsworth, Sighting Mr. Peters In The Group Of Returned
Churchgoers, Drew Him Aside And Broke The News That The Valuable
Scarab, So Kindly Presented By Him To The Castle Museum, Had Been
Stolen In The Night By Some Person Unknown, He Thought The
Millionaire Took It Exceedingly Well. Though The Stolen Object No
Longer Belonged To Him, Mr. Peters No Doubt Still Continued To
Take An Affectionate Interest In It And Might Have Been Excused
Had He Shown Annoyance That His Gift Had Been So Carelessly
Guarded.
Mr. Peters Was, However, Thoroughly Magnanimous About The Matter.
He Deprecated The Notion That The Earl Could Possibly Have
Prevented This Unfortunate Occurrence. He Quite Understood. He
Was Not In The Least Hurt. Nobody Could Have Foreseen Such A
Calamity. These Things Happened And One Had To Accept Them. He
Himself Had Once Suffered In Much The Same Way, The Gem Of His
Collection Having Been Removed Almost Beneath His Eyes In The
Smoothest Possible Fashion.
Altogether, He Relieved Lord Emsworth's Mind Very Much; And When
Chapter 10 Pg 164He Had Finished Doing So He Departed Swiftly And Rang For Ashe.
When Ashe Arrived He Bubbled Over With Enthusiasm. He Was Lyrical
In His Praise. He Went So Far As To Slap Ashe On The Back. It Was
Only When The Latter Disclaimed All Credit For What Had Occurred
That He Checked The Flow Of Approbation.
"It Wasn't You Who Got It? Who Was It, Then?"
"It Was Miss Peters' Maid. It's A Long Story; But We Were Working
In Partnership. I Tried For The Thing And Failed, And She
Succeeded."
It Was With Mixed Feelings That Ashe Listened While Mr. Peters
Transferred His Adjectives Of Commendation To Joan. He Admired
Joan's Courage, He Was Relieved That Her Venture Had Ended
Without Disaster, And He Knew That She Deserved Whatever Anyone
Could Find To Say In Praise Of Her Enterprise: But, At First,
Though He Tried To Crush It Down, He Could Not Help Feeling A
Certain Amount Of Chagrin That A Girl Should Have Succeeded Where
He, Though Having The Advantage Of First Chance, Had Failed. The
Terms Of His Partnership With Joan Had Jarred On Him From The
Beginning.
A Man May Be In Sympathy With The Modern Movement For The
Emancipation Of Woman And Yet Feel Aggrieved When A Mere Girl
Proves Herself A More Efficient Thief Than Himself. Woman Is
Invading Man's Sphere More Successfully Every Day; But There Are
Still Certain Fields In Which Man May Consider That He Is
Rightfully Entitled To A Monopoly--And The Purloining Of Scarabs
In The Watches Of The Night Is Surely One Of Them. Joan, In
Ashe's Opinion, Should Have Played A Meeker And Less Active Part.
These Unworthy Emotions Did Not Last Long. Whatever His Other
Shortcomings, Ashe Possessed A Just Mind. By The Time He Had
Found Joan, After Mr. Peters Had Said His Say, And Dispatched Him
Below Stairs For That Purpose, He Had Purged Himself Of Petty
Regrets And Was Prepared To Congratulate Her Whole-Heartedly. He
Was, However, Resolved That Nothing Should Induce Him To Share In
The Reward. On That Point, He Resolved, He Would Refuse To Be
Shaken.
"I Have Just Left Mr. Peters," He Began. "All Is Well. His Check
Book Lies Before Him On The Table And He Is Trying To Make His
Fountain Pen Work Long Enough To Write A Check. But There Is Just
One Thing I Want To Say--"
She Interrupted Him. To His Surprise, She Was Eyeing Him Coldly
And With Disapproval.
"And There Is Just One Thing I Want To Say," She Said; "And That
Is, If You Imagine I Shall Consent To Accept A Penny Of The
Reward--"
"Exactly What I Was Going To Say. Of Course I Couldn't Dream Of
Chapter 10 Pg 165Taking Any Of It."
"I Don't Understand You. You Are Certainly Going To Have It All.
I Told You When We Made Our Agreement That I Should Only Take My
Share If You Let Me Do My Share Of The Work. Now That You Have
Broken That Agreement, Nothing Could Induce Me To Take It. I Know
You Meant It Kindly, Mr. Marson, But I Simply Can't Feel
Grateful. I Told You That Ours Was A Business Contract And That I
Wouldn't Have Any Chivalry; And I Thought That After You Had
Given Me Your Promise--"
"One Moment," Said Ashe, Bewildered. "I Can't Follow This. What
Do You Mean?"
"What Do I Mean? Why, That You Went Down To The Museum Last Night
Before Me And Took The Scarab, Though You Had Promised To Stay
Away And Give Me My Chance."
"But I Didn't Do Anything Of The Sort."
It Was Joan's Turn To Look Bewildered.
"But You Have Got The Scarab, Mr. Marson?"
"Why, You Have Got It!"
"No!"
"But--But It Has Gone!"
"I Know. I Went Down To The Museum Last Night, As We Had
Arranged; And When I Got There There Was No Scarab. It Had
Disappeared."
They Looked At Each Other In Consternation. Ashe Was The First To
Speak.
"It Was Gone When You Got To The Museum?"
"There Wasn't A Trace Of It. I Took It For Granted That You Had
Been Down Before Me. I Was Furious!"
"But This Is Ridiculous!" Said Ashe. "Who Can Have Taken It?
There Was Nobody Beside Ourselves Who Knew Mr. Peters Was
Offering The Reward. What Exactly Happened Last Night?"
"I Waited Until One O'clock. Then I Slipped Down, Got Into The
Museum, Struck A Match, And Looked For The Scarab. It Wasn't
There. I Couldn't Believe It At First. I Struck Some More
Matches--Quite A Number--But It Was No Good. The Scarab Was Gone;
So I Went Back To Bed And Thought Hard Thoughts About You. It Was
Silly Of Me. I Ought To Have Known You Would Not Break Your Word;
But There Didn't Seem Any Other Solution Of The Thing's
Disappearance.
Chapter 10 Pg 166
"Well, Somebody Must Have Taken It; And The Question Is, What Are
We To Do?" She Laughed. "It Seems To Me That We Were A Little
Premature In Quarreling About How We Are To Divide That Reward.
It Looks As Though There Wasn't Going To Be Any Reward."
"Meantime," Said Ashe Gloomily, "I Suppose I Have Got To Go Back
And Tell Peters. I Expect It Will Break His Heart."
Chapter 11 Pg 167
Blandings Castle Dozed In The Calm Of An English Sunday
Afternoon. All Was Peace. Freddie Was In Bed, With Orders From
The Doctor To Stay There Until Further Notice. Baxter Had Washed
His Face. Lord Emsworth Had Returned To His Garden Fork. The Rest
Of The House Party Strolled About The Grounds Or Sat In Them, For
The Day Was One Of Those Late Spring Days That Are
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