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If you have ever wondered what it would be like to crash a fairground ride, upset the Russian mob, humiliate yourself before millions of people on national television, cause eleven thousand pounds damage to a restaurant in Blackpool as a result of your ineptitude with an industrial belt sander, be a bodyguard, make a movie with an A-list Hollywood actress, try to start a business in holographic confectionery, pole-dance, hang a lawnmower from a tree, receive a VIP tour of The Whitehouse, become a Born-Again Christian (for a bit), accidentally commit an armed robbery, be Santa Claus, become homeless after laundering twelve grand in Scottish hundred-pound notes from under your kitchen sink, learn to make weaponised plutonium, fall asleep on a push-bike, sell a pair of rusty skis, be sued over a fictional secret agent by an altogether terrifyingly real firm of international lawyers, hang twenty four thousand chickens on a rack, be pursued by the paparazzi, attend a fancy dress party as a serial killer, buy twenty five thousand terracotta flower pots for a pound, co-host a radio talk show, buy a crane, flee your home in fear of a gangster ordering your legs by snapped like Twiglets, experience a surreal time-travelling incident, mislabel boxes of creosote, throw-up on stage while trying to host a game show, learn to fly, escape an assassination attempt with the assistance of a cup of tea and a cheese sandwich, or be normal... then you're no longer alone.
Welcome to Danland.
Welcome to No stranger to the P45.

If you have ever wondered what it would be like to crash a fairground ride, upset the Russian mob, humiliate yourself before millions of people on national television, cause eleven thousand pounds damage to a restaurant in Blackpool as a result of your ineptitude with an industrial belt sander, be a bodyguard, make a movie with an A-list Hollywood actress, try to start a business in holographic confectionery, pole-dance, hang a lawnmower from a tree, receive a VIP tour of The Whitehouse, become a Born-Again Christian (for a bit), accidentally commit an armed robbery, be Santa Claus, become homeless after laundering twelve grand in Scottish hundred-pound notes from under your kitchen sink, learn to make weaponised plutonium, fall asleep on a push-bike, sell a pair of rusty skis, be sued over a fictional secret agent by an altogether terrifyingly real firm of international lawyers, hang twenty four thousand chickens on a rack, be pursued by the paparazzi, attend a fancy dress party as a serial killer, buy twenty five thousand terracotta flower pots for a pound, co-host a radio talk show, buy a crane, flee your home in fear of a gangster ordering your legs by snapped like Twiglets, experience a surreal time-travelling incident, mislabel boxes of creosote, throw-up on stage while trying to host a game show, learn to fly, escape an assassination attempt with the assistance of a cup of tea and a cheese sandwich, or be normal... then you're no longer alone.
Welcome to Danland.
Welcome to No stranger to the P45.