Author's e-books - humor. Page - 13
Maddie Etheridge's train wreck of a marriage at Boston's swanky Plaza Hotel cost forty thousand dollars and only lasted thirteen months! That matriculates out to about a hundred bucks a day not including the Samoan honeymoon, restraining order or legal fees.
A winter love song.
It all ended after World War Two. Or so it was thought. While medical and physiological experimentation on humans was repugnant and against all sensibilities, it remained valuable and above all highly profitable. Just simply believing something had gone away was good enough for most. Not for Milo Moon and Mary Seaton, who became proof of an international conspiracy to hide the truth. Simple and childish they may have been, but they held a history in their beings that was a threat to international political stability. For the Swiss government faced with such a discovery on their soil, the art of politics necessitated compromise and calculation to find a solution. A viable outcome that gained maximum political benefit of course; which is the habit of seasoned politicians. However, above all this had to remain a secret and be buried again behind the walls of political cloak and dagger, secret services and a need to protect the sensitivities that we call modern history. Therefore, it never happened.
What happens when you wake up in the middle of nowhere without your pants? You fear that a chipmunk will come calling.
After a crazy night on the town, our hero finds himself lost on an alien planet. Alone in the strange world, what will he discover? Who will he meet?
Journey along and find out what happens next!
Published in serial form.
If you have ever wondered what it would be like to crash a fairground ride, upset the Russian mob, humiliate yourself before millions of people on national television, cause eleven thousand pounds damage to a restaurant in Blackpool as a result of your ineptitude with an industrial belt sander, be a bodyguard, make a movie with an A-list Hollywood actress, try to start a business in holographic confectionery, pole-dance, hang a lawnmower from a tree, receive a VIP tour of The Whitehouse, become a Born-Again Christian (for a bit), accidentally commit an armed robbery, be Santa Claus, become homeless after laundering twelve grand in Scottish hundred-pound notes from under your kitchen sink, learn to make weaponised plutonium, fall asleep on a push-bike, sell a pair of rusty skis, be sued over a fictional secret agent by an altogether terrifyingly real firm of international lawyers, hang twenty four thousand chickens on a rack, be pursued by the paparazzi, attend a fancy dress party as a serial killer, buy twenty five thousand terracotta flower pots for a pound, co-host a radio talk show, buy a crane, flee your home in fear of a gangster ordering your legs by snapped like Twiglets, experience a surreal time-travelling incident, mislabel boxes of creosote, throw-up on stage while trying to host a game show, learn to fly, escape an assassination attempt with the assistance of a cup of tea and a cheese sandwich, or be normal... then you're no longer alone.
Welcome to Danland.
Welcome to No stranger to the P45.
A Husband prepares to take his wife on a special journey-her last.
It Started when I saw a Dollar Paper Bill...
And everything changed....
Who knew that, something you see while walking to your school leads you to the love of your life?
> . < Everything Inside this book, is use for entertainment only...
And is not meant to offend anyone
A very strange collection of thoughts and memories by a middle aged Australian man looking for the meaning of life. And not finding it. It asks a few questions, but provides no answers. It s a wistful collection of words placed in a clever order so as to confuse the reader. It also wanders the topics of sex, politics, food and recipes! It was written in 1998 during a period of relative crisis. (So what changes!) Resurrected in 2009 by an accident of being able to open such an old Word file. The rest is up to you.
Dante turned a prettier phrase, but I have a better sense of humor.
....Les Barloy did not know if he was really psychic...He tried to unlock the secrets hidden in his sordid mind with the assistance of the enigmatic zoophyte Professor Norkgrub; his guru, Tnuk Nam, and his Life-Coach Guru, Tommy Tellman...
...But Johnny Quagga was bothering him...He was supposed to be dead, but he was up to his old resurrection tricks again...Les did not expect to save any worlds...He just wanted to stick at his drag act...Les had always found the worlds he inhabited a tiny bit strange....
....This corrupted mess examines Les Barloy's flawed pzionik activities and his numerous attempts at the credible study of the astral world...
Maddie Etheridge's train wreck of a marriage at Boston's swanky Plaza Hotel cost forty thousand dollars and only lasted thirteen months! That matriculates out to about a hundred bucks a day not including the Samoan honeymoon, restraining order or legal fees.
A winter love song.
It all ended after World War Two. Or so it was thought. While medical and physiological experimentation on humans was repugnant and against all sensibilities, it remained valuable and above all highly profitable. Just simply believing something had gone away was good enough for most. Not for Milo Moon and Mary Seaton, who became proof of an international conspiracy to hide the truth. Simple and childish they may have been, but they held a history in their beings that was a threat to international political stability. For the Swiss government faced with such a discovery on their soil, the art of politics necessitated compromise and calculation to find a solution. A viable outcome that gained maximum political benefit of course; which is the habit of seasoned politicians. However, above all this had to remain a secret and be buried again behind the walls of political cloak and dagger, secret services and a need to protect the sensitivities that we call modern history. Therefore, it never happened.
What happens when you wake up in the middle of nowhere without your pants? You fear that a chipmunk will come calling.
After a crazy night on the town, our hero finds himself lost on an alien planet. Alone in the strange world, what will he discover? Who will he meet?
Journey along and find out what happens next!
Published in serial form.
If you have ever wondered what it would be like to crash a fairground ride, upset the Russian mob, humiliate yourself before millions of people on national television, cause eleven thousand pounds damage to a restaurant in Blackpool as a result of your ineptitude with an industrial belt sander, be a bodyguard, make a movie with an A-list Hollywood actress, try to start a business in holographic confectionery, pole-dance, hang a lawnmower from a tree, receive a VIP tour of The Whitehouse, become a Born-Again Christian (for a bit), accidentally commit an armed robbery, be Santa Claus, become homeless after laundering twelve grand in Scottish hundred-pound notes from under your kitchen sink, learn to make weaponised plutonium, fall asleep on a push-bike, sell a pair of rusty skis, be sued over a fictional secret agent by an altogether terrifyingly real firm of international lawyers, hang twenty four thousand chickens on a rack, be pursued by the paparazzi, attend a fancy dress party as a serial killer, buy twenty five thousand terracotta flower pots for a pound, co-host a radio talk show, buy a crane, flee your home in fear of a gangster ordering your legs by snapped like Twiglets, experience a surreal time-travelling incident, mislabel boxes of creosote, throw-up on stage while trying to host a game show, learn to fly, escape an assassination attempt with the assistance of a cup of tea and a cheese sandwich, or be normal... then you're no longer alone.
Welcome to Danland.
Welcome to No stranger to the P45.
A Husband prepares to take his wife on a special journey-her last.
It Started when I saw a Dollar Paper Bill...
And everything changed....
Who knew that, something you see while walking to your school leads you to the love of your life?
> . < Everything Inside this book, is use for entertainment only...
And is not meant to offend anyone
A very strange collection of thoughts and memories by a middle aged Australian man looking for the meaning of life. And not finding it. It asks a few questions, but provides no answers. It s a wistful collection of words placed in a clever order so as to confuse the reader. It also wanders the topics of sex, politics, food and recipes! It was written in 1998 during a period of relative crisis. (So what changes!) Resurrected in 2009 by an accident of being able to open such an old Word file. The rest is up to you.
Dante turned a prettier phrase, but I have a better sense of humor.
....Les Barloy did not know if he was really psychic...He tried to unlock the secrets hidden in his sordid mind with the assistance of the enigmatic zoophyte Professor Norkgrub; his guru, Tnuk Nam, and his Life-Coach Guru, Tommy Tellman...
...But Johnny Quagga was bothering him...He was supposed to be dead, but he was up to his old resurrection tricks again...Les did not expect to save any worlds...He just wanted to stick at his drag act...Les had always found the worlds he inhabited a tiny bit strange....
....This corrupted mess examines Les Barloy's flawed pzionik activities and his numerous attempts at the credible study of the astral world...