Author's e-books - humour. Page - 3
Emily is just a normal year 10 girl soon going to year ten.Emily's life is somewhat perfect,its just not that Emily is a loner or anything it's that Emily has a crush on someone younger than her for almost four years now.It all started during primary school when Emily wasn't that popular and was being a little bullied.
A tongue-in-cheek look at TV and modern times....
Gertie Grimthorpe comes from a long line of witches. Unfortunately, she hasn't really got the hang of it. Being blonde haired, blue eyed and free of warts isn't much of an advantage.
Try as she might, Gertie's spells fall flat. She manages to give her bat-headed umbrella the ability to talk, but then wishes she hadn’t when all he does is complain and insult people. Even finding an owl to be her Familiar doesn't help. Then again, he is extremely shortsighted…
Gertie is sent to The Academy to improve her spell casting skills. She soon has a best friend in the form of Bertha Bobbit, a big girl, with a matching appetite.
Add to that a Moat Monster with a flatulence problem, the weirdest array of witch's Familiars possible, and a warlock determined to ruin Gertie's chances of success, and the story unfolds.
Not to mention the demon...
A short sequel to 'Looking Through the Windows of Madness' - a novel about mental health and modern values
When Pinky, Percy and Porker push Myrtle to the limit, who knows how it will all end? – A cautionary tale for all sons.
Lewis Grimshaw and Wesley Mortimer are two amateur private detectives, trying desperately to become the next Holmes and Watson in tribute to Lewis's murdered sister. However, to the despair of Mortimer, his partner is not quite as functional as the legendary Mr Holmes.
Mia lives and studies at The Royal Midnight Cross Academy known for its amazing history and brilliant education. Students across the country come to study in this boarding school, but this school has many secrets. One of which, involves vampires. The Academy is run by 'Sir James', the principle, and the student council. but the student council are different, they re all amazingly beautiful. she also meets Eren who she has been in love with since a child. Eren the most handsome, popular and respected of the entire academy, however he also holds a hidden dark secret, which Mia has just found out! Is he the only one with this secret? Will Eren ever realize Mia's feelings for him?
A Search For Donald Cottee is a novel about individualism. It’s also a parody of Don Quixote, reinterpreting the Don’s quest in contemporary terms and also using several of the scenes from Cervantes’s tome.
Donkey and his wife, Poncho Suzie, have retired to Benidorm on Spain´s Costa Blanca. Don has left behind his incessant self-education and Suzie has turned the corner of her illness. Their new life is parked on the salubrious La Manga campsite and from there they pursue their ambition of eternal holiday. To savour the developing experience, and to make its potential paradise available to all, they blog.
But they can never escape their origins, even as their new future unfolds, perhaps disintegrates into the present. Episodes from the past reappear, reincarnate themselves. Don’s environmental campaigning and Suzie’s quest for business success fill the time.
And then they discover that their friends, some old, some new, some related, others not, are transacting the businesses of their own lives. There is money in vice, more in property, even more in merely trading people.
In a world where competition is the norm, where a dog’s only possible diet is another dog, Don and Suzie are determined to do good works, to be honest and loyal to all, to support what is right. But then, in the final analysis, when the jigsaw of lives is broken apart, we see that perhaps the pieces never did fit. And so, still trying to do good, Donkey Cottee and Poncho Suzie leave us with an enigma. Or is it a riddle?
It all ended after World War Two. Or so it was thought. While medical and physiological experimentation on humans was repugnant and against all sensibilities, it remained valuable and above all highly profitable. Just simply believing something had gone away was good enough for most. Not for Milo Moon and Mary Seaton, who became proof of an international conspiracy to hide the truth. Simple and childish they may have been, but they held a history in their beings that was a threat to international political stability. For the Swiss government faced with such a discovery on their soil, the art of politics necessitated compromise and calculation to find a solution. A viable outcome that gained maximum political benefit of course; which is the habit of seasoned politicians. However, above all this had to remain a secret and be buried again behind the walls of political cloak and dagger, secret services and a need to protect the sensitivities that we call modern history. Therefore, it never happened.
Emily is just a normal year 10 girl soon going to year ten.Emily's life is somewhat perfect,its just not that Emily is a loner or anything it's that Emily has a crush on someone younger than her for almost four years now.It all started during primary school when Emily wasn't that popular and was being a little bullied.
A tongue-in-cheek look at TV and modern times....
Gertie Grimthorpe comes from a long line of witches. Unfortunately, she hasn't really got the hang of it. Being blonde haired, blue eyed and free of warts isn't much of an advantage.
Try as she might, Gertie's spells fall flat. She manages to give her bat-headed umbrella the ability to talk, but then wishes she hadn’t when all he does is complain and insult people. Even finding an owl to be her Familiar doesn't help. Then again, he is extremely shortsighted…
Gertie is sent to The Academy to improve her spell casting skills. She soon has a best friend in the form of Bertha Bobbit, a big girl, with a matching appetite.
Add to that a Moat Monster with a flatulence problem, the weirdest array of witch's Familiars possible, and a warlock determined to ruin Gertie's chances of success, and the story unfolds.
Not to mention the demon...
A short sequel to 'Looking Through the Windows of Madness' - a novel about mental health and modern values
When Pinky, Percy and Porker push Myrtle to the limit, who knows how it will all end? – A cautionary tale for all sons.
Lewis Grimshaw and Wesley Mortimer are two amateur private detectives, trying desperately to become the next Holmes and Watson in tribute to Lewis's murdered sister. However, to the despair of Mortimer, his partner is not quite as functional as the legendary Mr Holmes.
Mia lives and studies at The Royal Midnight Cross Academy known for its amazing history and brilliant education. Students across the country come to study in this boarding school, but this school has many secrets. One of which, involves vampires. The Academy is run by 'Sir James', the principle, and the student council. but the student council are different, they re all amazingly beautiful. she also meets Eren who she has been in love with since a child. Eren the most handsome, popular and respected of the entire academy, however he also holds a hidden dark secret, which Mia has just found out! Is he the only one with this secret? Will Eren ever realize Mia's feelings for him?
A Search For Donald Cottee is a novel about individualism. It’s also a parody of Don Quixote, reinterpreting the Don’s quest in contemporary terms and also using several of the scenes from Cervantes’s tome.
Donkey and his wife, Poncho Suzie, have retired to Benidorm on Spain´s Costa Blanca. Don has left behind his incessant self-education and Suzie has turned the corner of her illness. Their new life is parked on the salubrious La Manga campsite and from there they pursue their ambition of eternal holiday. To savour the developing experience, and to make its potential paradise available to all, they blog.
But they can never escape their origins, even as their new future unfolds, perhaps disintegrates into the present. Episodes from the past reappear, reincarnate themselves. Don’s environmental campaigning and Suzie’s quest for business success fill the time.
And then they discover that their friends, some old, some new, some related, others not, are transacting the businesses of their own lives. There is money in vice, more in property, even more in merely trading people.
In a world where competition is the norm, where a dog’s only possible diet is another dog, Don and Suzie are determined to do good works, to be honest and loyal to all, to support what is right. But then, in the final analysis, when the jigsaw of lives is broken apart, we see that perhaps the pieces never did fit. And so, still trying to do good, Donkey Cottee and Poncho Suzie leave us with an enigma. Or is it a riddle?
It all ended after World War Two. Or so it was thought. While medical and physiological experimentation on humans was repugnant and against all sensibilities, it remained valuable and above all highly profitable. Just simply believing something had gone away was good enough for most. Not for Milo Moon and Mary Seaton, who became proof of an international conspiracy to hide the truth. Simple and childish they may have been, but they held a history in their beings that was a threat to international political stability. For the Swiss government faced with such a discovery on their soil, the art of politics necessitated compromise and calculation to find a solution. A viable outcome that gained maximum political benefit of course; which is the habit of seasoned politicians. However, above all this had to remain a secret and be buried again behind the walls of political cloak and dagger, secret services and a need to protect the sensitivities that we call modern history. Therefore, it never happened.