Author's e-books - satire. Page - 2
Ever since I was a kid, in the last century as my grandchildren like to remind me, I have always had a dog. It is hard to imagine life without a chewing, barking, pooping, loving four legged companion. It also seemed a strange question to me, does Norman have a soul? The question was asked, seriously, by a dear non- tribal friend. Actually, I had never thought much of, do dogs have souls, except to think, of course. Does Norman have a Soul? That is a real question. Do dogs have souls? I assumed, of course.
"I assume"…. how often have I heard the definition of I assume, "to make an ass out you and me."
A satirical look at two women dealing with turning 50 Some helpful advice,creative recipes and fun suggestions on how to cope at 50+.
College... a time for debates and odd friends; for forgotten tasks and misplaced notes; for open conversations with people you thought would never understand. Two girls from opposite sides of the spectrum come to the realization that they can live together without having to agree on their views on life, death and sexuality. Well, until they get out of college that is.
Why Wait Another Minute? MAD ABOUT UNDEAD YOU Delivers Scares And Romance Now!
☢
Cathren Whitney and Donovan Codell are twenty-something lovers whose relationship is on the rocks. When a zombie outbreak occurs (and we all know how that can put a wrench in a love affair), they must run for their lives. Along the way, the couple attempts to heal their broken connection, but before they can decide what's next for them, Cathren finds herself bitten by an enraged frozen head.
☢
Hold on. Let's take a step back...
☢
As it turns out, the zombie epidemic was caused by a chemical leakage into the aquifer from the local factory specializing in cryogenics (freezing and storing people after death, typically just the head). The cryogenics firm was able to reanimate some heads. Unfortunately, they are not happy about being brought back from the beyond, and have the disposition of rabid dogs.
☢
❝The head dropped out of the scientist's hands and plopped onto the floor. The thing skidded across the lab and spun to a stop at the feet of a terrified Cathren Whitney. She screamed again. The head lay there, looking up at her, snarling, drooling, foaming at the mouth, eyes wild. Then, it bit her.❞
☢
After the bite from the frozen head, and in combination with her unique DNA, Cathren morphs into a half-zombie. Burkhart Egesa, a diabolical but well-intentioned fiend, has decided the only way to end the zombie breakout is to dissect Cathren--alive!
☢
❝'I must have living organs,' Egesa said. 'The heart still beating, the lungs still breathing. Don't worry, she won't feel a thing. She can't move; she can't awaken. She couldn't sense pain even if I did this crudely. But I'm an expert. A man of science.' With that, he switched on the tiny buzz saw and slowly lowered it towards Cathren's chest.❞
☢
Somehow, Cathren and Donovan escape to Alcatraz, their new home. Unfortunately, the island is overrun by zombies, too, and they must flee again. They are chased by zombie Native Americans, hired goons, mobs of zombies and survivalists--even zombie sharks! Cathren and Donovan survive and paddle to Treasure Island, but the island's been overrun by zombie librarians! The young couple are captured again and face certain death. Zombies pound at the door, the mob of the undead crushing against the metal doors, forcing them open.
☢
❝With an agonized screech, one hinge burst off the left door, allowing the first monster to surge into the room. The stench of rotting flesh wafted in, and most everyone present gagged. The creature stood there, panting, eyeing the group. Then it attacked.❞
☢
Can San Francisco be saved? Can love conquer the undead? Will Cathren and Donovan find freedom, safety, and true love?
☢
Find out for yourself! Scroll up and grab a copy today.
This is a novel about two guys with names starting with a capital "P". It's written in very easy englisch, by a German.
It's based on or say originated from the wordplay of the - by non-native-english-speakers- wrong pronounced word "PayPal"..this online-payment provider, you know?!
Have fun, viel Spaß and hopefully further Fortsetzungs-parts are about to follow.
What Is This Book About? Great question. The answer is so splendidly simple. This book is about anything, everything and nothing. It is an ideal companion on a bus or train where regular interruptions are guaranteed as every part of this book is very, very short. Ideal also for parents of young children who get interrupted a lot by screaming, crying and toilet training. Great too for those with a limited attention span. If you have already scanned the table of contents you will have noticed that there is certainly no rhyme, logic or theme in this book. The reason for this is that each short utterance captures my thoughts on a singular day during the last twelve months. So get ready for a wild ride, or, ask for a refund now and read no further.
A Collection of Three short Stories that I wrote for my 'Creative Writing' module on my University course.
It all ended after World War Two. Or so it was thought. While medical and physiological experimentation on humans was repugnant and against all sensibilities, it remained valuable and above all highly profitable. Just simply believing something had gone away was good enough for most. Not for Milo Moon and Mary Seaton, who became proof of an international conspiracy to hide the truth. Simple and childish they may have been, but they held a history in their beings that was a threat to international political stability. For the Swiss government faced with such a discovery on their soil, the art of politics necessitated compromise and calculation to find a solution. A viable outcome that gained maximum political benefit of course; which is the habit of seasoned politicians. However, above all this had to remain a secret and be buried again behind the walls of political cloak and dagger, secret services and a need to protect the sensitivities that we call modern history. Therefore, it never happened.
A very strange collection of thoughts and memories by a middle aged Australian man looking for the meaning of life. And not finding it. It asks a few questions, but provides no answers. It s a wistful collection of words placed in a clever order so as to confuse the reader. It also wanders the topics of sex, politics, food and recipes! It was written in 1998 during a period of relative crisis. (So what changes!) Resurrected in 2009 by an accident of being able to open such an old Word file. The rest is up to you.
Ever since I was a kid, in the last century as my grandchildren like to remind me, I have always had a dog. It is hard to imagine life without a chewing, barking, pooping, loving four legged companion. It also seemed a strange question to me, does Norman have a soul? The question was asked, seriously, by a dear non- tribal friend. Actually, I had never thought much of, do dogs have souls, except to think, of course. Does Norman have a Soul? That is a real question. Do dogs have souls? I assumed, of course.
"I assume"…. how often have I heard the definition of I assume, "to make an ass out you and me."
A satirical look at two women dealing with turning 50 Some helpful advice,creative recipes and fun suggestions on how to cope at 50+.
College... a time for debates and odd friends; for forgotten tasks and misplaced notes; for open conversations with people you thought would never understand. Two girls from opposite sides of the spectrum come to the realization that they can live together without having to agree on their views on life, death and sexuality. Well, until they get out of college that is.
Why Wait Another Minute? MAD ABOUT UNDEAD YOU Delivers Scares And Romance Now!
☢
Cathren Whitney and Donovan Codell are twenty-something lovers whose relationship is on the rocks. When a zombie outbreak occurs (and we all know how that can put a wrench in a love affair), they must run for their lives. Along the way, the couple attempts to heal their broken connection, but before they can decide what's next for them, Cathren finds herself bitten by an enraged frozen head.
☢
Hold on. Let's take a step back...
☢
As it turns out, the zombie epidemic was caused by a chemical leakage into the aquifer from the local factory specializing in cryogenics (freezing and storing people after death, typically just the head). The cryogenics firm was able to reanimate some heads. Unfortunately, they are not happy about being brought back from the beyond, and have the disposition of rabid dogs.
☢
❝The head dropped out of the scientist's hands and plopped onto the floor. The thing skidded across the lab and spun to a stop at the feet of a terrified Cathren Whitney. She screamed again. The head lay there, looking up at her, snarling, drooling, foaming at the mouth, eyes wild. Then, it bit her.❞
☢
After the bite from the frozen head, and in combination with her unique DNA, Cathren morphs into a half-zombie. Burkhart Egesa, a diabolical but well-intentioned fiend, has decided the only way to end the zombie breakout is to dissect Cathren--alive!
☢
❝'I must have living organs,' Egesa said. 'The heart still beating, the lungs still breathing. Don't worry, she won't feel a thing. She can't move; she can't awaken. She couldn't sense pain even if I did this crudely. But I'm an expert. A man of science.' With that, he switched on the tiny buzz saw and slowly lowered it towards Cathren's chest.❞
☢
Somehow, Cathren and Donovan escape to Alcatraz, their new home. Unfortunately, the island is overrun by zombies, too, and they must flee again. They are chased by zombie Native Americans, hired goons, mobs of zombies and survivalists--even zombie sharks! Cathren and Donovan survive and paddle to Treasure Island, but the island's been overrun by zombie librarians! The young couple are captured again and face certain death. Zombies pound at the door, the mob of the undead crushing against the metal doors, forcing them open.
☢
❝With an agonized screech, one hinge burst off the left door, allowing the first monster to surge into the room. The stench of rotting flesh wafted in, and most everyone present gagged. The creature stood there, panting, eyeing the group. Then it attacked.❞
☢
Can San Francisco be saved? Can love conquer the undead? Will Cathren and Donovan find freedom, safety, and true love?
☢
Find out for yourself! Scroll up and grab a copy today.
This is a novel about two guys with names starting with a capital "P". It's written in very easy englisch, by a German.
It's based on or say originated from the wordplay of the - by non-native-english-speakers- wrong pronounced word "PayPal"..this online-payment provider, you know?!
Have fun, viel Spaß and hopefully further Fortsetzungs-parts are about to follow.
What Is This Book About? Great question. The answer is so splendidly simple. This book is about anything, everything and nothing. It is an ideal companion on a bus or train where regular interruptions are guaranteed as every part of this book is very, very short. Ideal also for parents of young children who get interrupted a lot by screaming, crying and toilet training. Great too for those with a limited attention span. If you have already scanned the table of contents you will have noticed that there is certainly no rhyme, logic or theme in this book. The reason for this is that each short utterance captures my thoughts on a singular day during the last twelve months. So get ready for a wild ride, or, ask for a refund now and read no further.
A Collection of Three short Stories that I wrote for my 'Creative Writing' module on my University course.
It all ended after World War Two. Or so it was thought. While medical and physiological experimentation on humans was repugnant and against all sensibilities, it remained valuable and above all highly profitable. Just simply believing something had gone away was good enough for most. Not for Milo Moon and Mary Seaton, who became proof of an international conspiracy to hide the truth. Simple and childish they may have been, but they held a history in their beings that was a threat to international political stability. For the Swiss government faced with such a discovery on their soil, the art of politics necessitated compromise and calculation to find a solution. A viable outcome that gained maximum political benefit of course; which is the habit of seasoned politicians. However, above all this had to remain a secret and be buried again behind the walls of political cloak and dagger, secret services and a need to protect the sensitivities that we call modern history. Therefore, it never happened.
A very strange collection of thoughts and memories by a middle aged Australian man looking for the meaning of life. And not finding it. It asks a few questions, but provides no answers. It s a wistful collection of words placed in a clever order so as to confuse the reader. It also wanders the topics of sex, politics, food and recipes! It was written in 1998 during a period of relative crisis. (So what changes!) Resurrected in 2009 by an accident of being able to open such an old Word file. The rest is up to you.