Dear Life by Zoey.Stark (books to get back into reading txt) 📖

wish you would have told me this before now way before now.” I said.

“Why?” he asked.

“Because, Shaw it would have changed everything. We would probably still be together.” I said. I felt hot tears wanting to stream out of my eyes, but I held them back. I was really good at that just hiding my feelings.

“I wish that I did.” He said grabbing for my hand. I didn’t let him though, okay so yeah I am mad. He is the only reason I really didn’t die after Usher did. Yeah he said his mom was a huge Usher fan so he ended up with that name(even though he looks nothing like Usher he was a tan muscular dude who love football). I was sad after he was gone I went into a deep depression. I never thought I would get out of it but through the time without him that first year is when everything went down I hated that year. I really never want to think or talk about it either.

“Wishing wasn’t doing.” I said. Fixing to walk off before he grabbed me and kissed me. I automatically kissed him back it was a reflux though, I know I shouldn’t have but I did. I pushed away I had my hands in the center of his chest so he would stay at arm length.

“You shouldn’t have done that.” I said.

“Why not?” he said. I could hear the hurt in his voice.

“I can’t be with you no more, I can’t tell you why either this is best for both you and me.” I said walking away to inside. When I get in there I can see it was a belated birthday party it just wasn’t the kind where everyone yelled surprise. I loved that friends knew exactly how I liked my parties.

My friends it’s really sad I won’t be able to see them for a while. A lot of them come up and say hey and happy birthday I am just glad they said nothing about my ex. I walk out though after a hour and went outside and sat on a little porch swing. When I sat down I wanted to cry.

“I miss him.” I said out loud. A hot tear had left my eye then, I couldn’t hold it back any longer. God, I wish you would just please give him back to me. I guess the ones I love the most just eventually die and it hurts so deeply that I can’t stand it. I had done something that I regret sometimes since he has been gone, but I really don’t want to talk about that. I look up the sky say a silent prayer to god one more time.

“Dear Life, Please bring him back to me. That’s all I want is just one good thing to happen on this day not just all the bad stuff. I am scared, depressed, and I am so very much heartbroken still. Just please.” I said out loud to the sky and no one I guess. I wish that just one angel could hear me just a small is all I need. Just sitting there alone in the peace and quiet was the greatest gift anyone could have gotten me (well besides my cat of course). It most likely won’t happen though. No matter how many times I wish for it, or hope. It just won’t happened.

“Hey who are you talking to?” I heard Ash say coming out of the woods.

“I was having a private conversation but it seems like I am talking to myself I know.” I said.

“It’ll get better. Maybe someday he’ll all of a sudden pop up out of nowhere.” He said.

“He’s dead not alive.” I said.

“I know how it feels to lose someone you love trust me on that.” He said. I believed him I didn’t question it. He looked serious when he said that’s why.

“Okay.” I said.

The party eventually was over I went home. I had said bye to everyone. They had done this real special gift for me though of all the things and pictures and stuff from between me and his relationship it kind of made me cry a little. I miss him is that so bad though I know it’s been awhile but I still do. When I get home I get on a pair of Pj’s and got my cat out of the cat carrier and took her upstairs with me, have you ever heard a kitten sneeze? Well, you should it’s adorable. Alisha went home after the party because of course she was having a guy over. I went to lay down and had the kitten right next to me when suddenly I heard a knock at my window where I had a balcone. I looked out I didn't really see well as to who it was. So, I opened it thinking the guy wouldn't hurt me. He didn't either.

"Who are you?" I asked him.

"I'm River." He said kissing my hand.

"My mate River?" I asked him.

"Yeah, but I am also more than that..." He said, suddenly he changed his face kind of.

"Usher..." I dropped my mouth wide open.

"Hey my princess." He said.

"You're Usher...I thought Usher was dead." I said getting upset.

"Calm down lets sit and I will explain everything." He said sitting down on my bed. I sat next to him but before he could say anything I had to kiss him to make sure it was him, and it was because I really didn’t want to stop kissing him. When I did and we caught our breath, I didn't want an explanation tonight I just wanted him to hold me.

"True I have missed you so much." He said holding me.

"Why'd you come tonight?" I asked him.

"River told me you needed me now more than ever and of course I felt it." He said.

Chapter 4

The next morning I woke up to River instead of Usher. I still smiled because I knew they were the same person so it didn't matter what the explanation is. I didn't

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Publication Date: 11-09-2011

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