Let Me In by Adam Nicholls (best romantic novels in english txt) 📖

“School wasn’t easy for me. I didn’t fit in. The movies show the weedy guys walking through the corridors and getting shoved into lockers. That was a real thing that did actually happen to people like me, but nobody ever took notice. At the end of the day, it’s all a bit of fun, right? Nobody ever stopped to ask if I was okay, so I just carried on with my day, dreading that final bell. That bell told me to go home—it told me to go be with him.”

Nick stepped closer, scanning the dark room.

“That’s right. As if school wasn’t hard enough, I had to walk the four miles home alone, even in the middle of winter. You think my mom bought me a coat? Think again. I remember this one time, after Billy Shuitz—one of my many asshole bullies—drenched me in water for what could only be described as a hilarious prank. So, there I was, walking home during a frost and minding my own business. All I could think about was getting home and begging my stepfather to let me have a hot bath.

“But I never got that far. Billy had other plans for me.”

Nick lowered his head and closed his eyes for a moment. It was like the backs of his eyes were a blank canvas for a film reel to show the sorrows of his life. As he delved into that memory, plucking away at the finer details of it, he knew it would only make him sad—angry, even. But it was irresistible to him. He had to tell all.

“I’d made it a mile up the street before I realized he was following me. He had his friends on either side of him—too many to count. I kept walking, but they caught up with me eventually because they were on their bikes. In time, I heard the wheels spinning and the sound of metal clattering to the ground. The next thing I know, I’m on the ground beside the bikes, black school shoes rising and falling as they stomped on my face. Everything was a blur, but there are three things I remember; I remember thinking that it should have hurt more. I later realized it was because my face had gone numb, and I just couldn’t feel what they were doing to me anymore. The next thing, and I just can’t seem to erase this from my memory, was Billy’s face. He was laughing at me as he stomped, each blow to the face sending him further into hysterical laughter. The other thing, though…”

Nick stomped forward to rush Morgan, but nostalgia snapped him back. He’d waited his entire life to tell somebody his story, and who better to confess to than somebody who was about to die?

“The other thing was her.

“Carrie Whittle was my savior. I heard her voice long before they stopped kicking, but eventually they all got up and left. Carrie helped me to my feet and walked me home. I didn’t have anything to say to her. She was the first girl who’d ever said anything nice to me, and I didn’t know how to handle it. Remember, I was only fourteen. Anyway, when we got home she didn’t come in. But she did kiss me on the cheek. It hurt a lot, but I didn’t mind. Carrie became my first love after that. We made friends and those feelings quickly developed into something more.

“The next summer rolled by, and we started fighting a lot. The bullying didn’t ease up, and I think she found it difficult to deal with my bad moods. But that doesn’t excuse what she did to me next, does it? Nobody deserves to be cheated on, especially when they then leave you for that person. When I found out, I was so angry. I tried talking to Carrie about it, but she just yelled at me and then we broke up. The next day she was in a new relationship with that guy. So, do you see? She was using me, keeping me for comfort while she tested the waters with the new guy. When she figured he was a sure thing, she cut the strings with me.”

Pain engrossed him.

“It wasn’t the last time, either.

“Next there was Danielle Phillips. She seemed to do the same thing, only in reverse. She had a boyfriend, and as much as she said she was going to leave him, she just never did. That didn’t stop her from having sex with me though, did it? When her boyfriend found out, she told him I was following her and making her uncomfortable. Hell, one time she even told her family I was outside her house, which I sure was not. I mean, it’s hard enough to survive through high school without the physical advantages of jocks or the intellectual superiority of the real nerds. I was somewhere in the middle, lacking on either side.

“And it showed.”

Anger tore through him at the memory, but he refrained from letting it out. For too long he’d been a vessel of rage, and although he was determined to do what he needed to do—hurt and then kill all involved—he wanted this guy to understand.

“I forgot about Danielle in time, and before I knew it a romance was brewing between Emma Cole and myself. She was sweet to me, right up until she followed in Danielle’s footsteps; she cheated on her boyfriend, pinned it on me, and then I was left to deal with even more bullying. It was an endless line of insults and physical abuse from school to home, from home to college, and every day after that just became another gray page in a very dull book. Life was just no fun, but I got on with it.

“And then social media came about.

“Those long, lonely nights made it too easy to look them up on the internet. Seeing they’d grown up to marry those guys made me so angry. I… I saw red. I started thinking about what would happen if I finally got my revenge. All those years of torture had led me to wonder, what would their faces look like when they realized I’d won after all? How would those girls feel when they knew I’d come out on top—me, the pathetic little loser they’d beat up in high school?

“There was only one way to find out.”