Three Soldiers by John Dos Passos (best e book reader android .txt) đ
- Author: John Dos Passos
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The girl slapped his head good-naturedly.
At that moment a man stamped noisily into the cafe, a tall broad-shouldered man in a loose English tunic, who had a swinging swagger that made the glasses ring on all the tables. He was humming under his breath and there was a grin on his broad red face. He went up to the girl and pretended to kiss her, and she laughed and talked familiarly with him in French.
âThereâs wild Dan Cohan,â said the dark-haired sergeant. âSay, Dan, Dan.â
âHere, yer honor.â
âCome over and have a drink. Weâre going to have some fizzy.â
âNever known to refuse.â
They made room for him on the bench.
âWell, Iâm confined to barracks,â said Dan Cohan. âLook at me!â He laughed and gave his head a curious swift jerk to one side. âCompree?â
âAinât ye scared theyâll nab you?â said Fuselli.
âNab me, hell, they canât do nothinâ to me. Iâve had three court-martials already and theyâre gettinâ a fourth up on me.â
Dan Cohan pushed his head to one side and laughed. âI got a friend. My old boss is captain, and heâs goinâ to fix it up. I used to alley around politics chez moy. Compree?â
The champagne came and Dan Cohan popped the cork up to the ceiling with dexterous red fingers.
âI was just wondering who was going to give me a drink,â he said. âAinât had any pay since Christ was a corporal. Iâve forgotten what it looks like.â
The champagne fizzed into the beer-glasses.
âThis is the life,â said Fuselli.
âYeâre damn right, buddy, if yer donât let them ride yer,â said Dan.
âWhat they got yer up for now, Dan?â
âMurder.â
âMurder, hell! Howâs that?â
âThat is, if that bloke dies.â
âThe hell you say!â
âIt all started by that goddam convoy down from NantesâŠBill Rees anâ meâŠ. They called us the shock troops.âHy! Marie! Ancore champagne, beaucoup.âI was in the Ambulance service then. God knows what rotten service Iâm in nowâŠ. Our section was on repo and they sent some of us fellers down to Nantes to fetch a convoy of cars back to Sandrecourt. We started out like regular racers, just the chassis, savey? Bill Rees anâ me was the goddam tail of the peerade. Anâ the loot was a hell of a blockhead that didnât know if he was coming or going.â
âWhere the hellâs Nantes?â asked the top sergeant, as if it had just slipped his mind.
âOn the coast,â answered Fuselli. âI seen it on the map.â
âNantesâs way off to hell and gone anyway,â said wild Dan Cohan, taking a gulp of champagne that he held in his mouth a moment, making his mouth move like a cow ruminating.
âAnâ as Bill Rees anâ me was the tail of the peerade anâ there was lots of cafes and little gin-mills, Bill Rees anâ meâd stop off every now and then to have a little drink anâ say âBonjourâ to the girls anâ talk to the people, anâ then weâd go like a bat out of hell to catch up. Well, I donât know if we went too fast for âem or if they lost the road or what, but we never saw that goddam convoy from the time we went out of Nantes. Then we thought we might as well see a bit of the country, compree?⊠Anâ we did, goddam itâŠ. We landed up in Orleans, soused to the gills and without any gas anâ with an M. P; climbing up on the dashboard.â
âDid they nab you, then?â
âNot a bit of it,â said wild Dan Cohen, jerking his head to one side. âThey gave us gas and commutation of rations anâ told us to go on in the morninâ. You see we put up a good line of talk, compree?⊠Well, we went to the swankiest restaurantâŠ. You see we had on those bloody British uniforms they gave us when the O. D. gave out, anâ the M. P.âs didnât know just what sort oâ birds we were. So we went and ordered up a regular meal anâ lots oâ vin rouge anâ vin blank anâ drank a few cognacs anâ before we knew it we were eating dinner with two captains and a sergeant. One oâ the captains was the drunkest man I ever did seeâŠ. Good kid! We all had dinner and Bill Rees says, âLetâs go for a joy-ride.â Anâ the captains says, âFine,â and the sergeant would have said, âFine,â but he was so goggle-eyed drunk he couldnât. Anâ we started off!⊠Say, fellers, Iâm dry as hell! Letâs order up another bottle.â
âSure,â said everyone.
âBan swar, ma cherie, Comment allez vous?â
âEncore champagne, Marie, gentille!â
âWell,â he went on, âwe went like a bat out of hell along a good state road, and it was all fine until one of the captains thought we ought to have a race. We didâŠ. Compree? The flivvers flivved all right, but the hell of it was we got so excited about the race we forgot about the sergeant anâ he fell off anâ nobody missed him. Anâ at last we all pull up before a gin-mill anâ one captain says, âWhereâs the sergeant?â anâ the other captain says there hadnât been no sergeant. Anâ we all had a drink on that. Anâ one captain kept sayinâ, âItâs all imagination. Never was a sergeant. I wouldnât associate with a sergeant, would I, lootenant?â He kept on calling me lootenantâŠ. Well that was how they got this new charge against me. Somebody picked up the sergeant anâ he got concussion oâ the brain anâ thereâs hell to pay, anâ if the poor buggar croaksâŠ. Iâm itâŠ. Compree? About that time the captains start wantinâ to go to Paris, anâ we said weâd take âem, anâ so we put all the gas in my car anâ the four of us climbed on that goddam chassis anâ off we went like a bat out of hell! Itâld all have been fine if I wasnât lookinâ cross-eyedâŠ. We piled up in about two minutes on one of those nice little stone piles anâ there we were. We all got up anâ one oâ the captains had his arm broke, anâ there was hell to pay, worse than losing the sergeant. So we walked on down the road. I donât know how it got to be daylight. But we got to some hell of a town or other anâ there was two M. P.âs all ready to meet usâŠ. Compree?⊠Well, we didnât mess around with them captains. We just lit off down a side street anâ got into a little cafe anâ went in back anâ had a hell of a lot oâ cafe oâ lay. That made us feel sort oâ good anâ I says to Bill, âBill, weâve got to get to headquarters anâ tell âem that we accidentally smashed up our car, before the M. P.âs get busy.â Anâ he says, âYouâre goddamned right,â anâ at that minute I sees an M. P. through a crack in the door cominâ into the cafe. We lit out into the garden and made for the wall. We got over that, although we left a good piece of my pants in the broken glass. But the hell of it was the M. P.âs got over too anâ they had their pop-guns out. Anâ the last I saw of Bill Rees wasâthere was a big fat woman in a pink dress washing clothes in a big tub, anâ poor ole Bill Rees runs head on into her anâ over they both goes into the washtub. The M. P.âs got him all right. Thatâs how I got away. Anâ the last I saw of Bill Rees he was squirming about on top of the washtub like he was swimminâ, anâ the fat woman was sittinâ on the ground shaking her fist at him. Bill Rees was the best buddy I ever had.â
He paused and poured the rest of the champagne in his glass and wiped the sweat off his face with his big red hand.
âYou ainât stringinâ us, are you?â asked Fuselli.
âYou just ask Lieutenant Whitehead, whoâs defending me in the court-martial, if Iâm stringinâ yer. I been in the ring, kid, and you can bet your bottom dollar that a manâs been in the ringâll tell the truth.â
âGo on, Dan,â said the sergeant.
âAnâ I never heard a word about Bill Rees since. I guess they got him into the trenches and made short work of him.â
Dan Cohan paused to light a cigarette.
âWell, one oâ the M. P.âs follows after me and starts shootinâ. Anâ donât you believe I ran. Gee, I was scared! But I was in luck âcause a Frenchman had just started his camion anâ I jumped in and said the gendarmes were after me. He was white, that frog was. He shot the juice into her anâ went off like a bat out of hell anâ there was a hell of a lot of traffic on the road because there was some damn-fool attack or other goinâ on. So I got up to ParisâŠ. Anâ then itâld all have been fine if I hadnât met up with a Jane I knew. I still had five hundred francs on me, anâ so we raised hell until one day we was havinâ dinner in the cafe de Paris, both of us sort of jagged up, anâ we didnât have enough money to pay the bill anâ Janey made a run for it, but an M. P. got me anâ then there was hell to payâŠ. Compree? They put me in the Bastille, great placeâŠ. Then they shipped me off to some damn camp or other anâ gave me a gun anâ made me drill for a week anâ then they packed a whole gang of us, all A. W. O. Lâs, into a train for the front. That was nearly the end of little Daniel again. But when we was in Vitry-le-Francois, I chucked my rifle out of one window and jumped out of the other anâ got on a train back to Paris anâ went anâ reported to headquarters how Iâd smashed the car anâ been in the Bastille anâ all, anâ they were sore as hell at the M. P.âs anâ sent me out to a section anâ all went fine until I got ordered back anâ had to alley down to this goddam camp. Ahâ now I donât know what theyâre goinâ to do to me.â
âGee whiz!â
âItâs a great war, I tell you, Sarge. Itâs a great war. I wouldnât have missed it.â
Across the room someone was singing.
âLetâs drown âem out,â said the top sergeant boisterously.
âO Mademerselle from Armenteers, Parley voo?â
âWell, Iâve got to get the hell out of here,â said wild Dan Cohan, after a minute. âIâve got a Jane waitinâ for me. Iâm all fixed up,⊠Compree?â
He swaggered out singing:
âBon soir, ma cherie, Comment alley vous? Si vous voulez Couche avec moiâŠ.â
The door slammed behind him, leaving the cafe quiet.
Many men had left. Madame had taken up her knitting and Marie of the plump white arms sat beside her, leaning her head back among the bottles that rose in tiers behind the bars.
Fuselli was staring at a door on one side of the bar. Men kept opening it and looking in and closing it again with a peculiar expression on their faces. Now and then someone would open it with a smile and go into the next room, shuffling his feet and closing the door carefully behind him.
âSay, I wonder what theyâve got there,â said the top sergeant, who had been staring at the door. âMush be looked into, mush be looked into,â he added, laughing drunkenly.
âI dunno,â said Fuselli. The
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