author - "Fyodor Dostoyevsky"
is inclined to grumble, but do not mindthat, Barbara. God bless her, for she is an excellent soul!
But what sort of an abode have I lighted upon, Barbara Alexievna?What sort of a tenement, do you think, is this? Formerly, as youknow, I used to live in absolute stillness--so much so that if afly took wing it could plainly be heard buzzing. Here, however,all is turmoil and shouting and clatter. The PLAN of the tenementyou know already. Imagine a long corridor, quite dark, and by nomeans clean. To the right a dead wall, and to the left a row ofdoors stretching as far as the line of rooms extends. These roomsare tenanted by different people--by one, by two, or by threelodgers as the case may be, but in this arrangement there is nosort of system, and the place is a perfect Noah's Ark. Most ofthe lodgers are respectable, educated, and even bookish people.In particular they include a tchinovnik (one of the literarystaff in some government department), who is so well-read that hecan expound Homer or
s a new and a miraculous revelation superseding the old revelation of fifteen hundred years ago, when Thou didst so repeatedly tell the people: "The truth shall make you free." Behold then, Thy "free" people now!' adds the old man with sombre irony. 'Yea!... it has cost us dearly.' he continues, sternly looking at his victim. 'But we have at last accomplished our task, and--in Thy name.... For fifteen long centuries we had to toil and suffer owing to that "freedom": but now we have prevailed and our work is done, and well and strongly it is done. ....Believest not Thou it is so very strong? ... And why should Thou look at me so meekly as if I were not worthy even of Thy indignation?... Know then, that now, and only now, Thy people feel fully sure and satisfied of their freedom; and that only since they have themselves and of their own free will delivered that freedom unto our hands by placing it submissively at our feet. But then, that is what we have done. Is it that which Thou has striven for? Is this the k
rently in token of approval and assent to all this, and bent an inquisitorial interrogative gaze upon his visitor.
"I have come to trouble you a second time, Krestyan Ivanovitch," began Mr. Golyadkin, with a smile, "and now I venture to ask your indulgence a second time...." He was obviously at a loss for words.
"H'm... Yes!" pronounced Krestyan Ivanovitch, puffing out a spiral of smoke and putting down his cigar on the table, "but you must follow the treatment prescribed to you; I explained to you that what would be beneficial to your health is a change of habits.... Entertainment, for instance, and, well, friends - you should visit your acquaintances, and not be hostile to the bottle; and likewise keep cheerful company."
Mr. Golyadkin, still smiling, hastened to observe that he thought he was like every one else, that he lived by himself, that he had entertainments like every one else... that, of course, he might go to the theatre, for he had the means like every one else, that he spent
o go to such lengths, and I also hate you and stillmore--because you are so necessary to me. For the time being Iwant you, so I must keep you."
Then she made a movement to rise. Her tone had sounded veryangry. Indeed, of late her talks with me had invariably ended ona note of temper and irritation--yes, of real temper.
"May I ask you who is this Mlle. Blanche?" I inquired (since Idid not wish Polina to depart without an explanation).
"You KNOW who she is--just Mlle. Blanche. Nothing further hastranspired. Probably she will soon be Madame General--that is tosay, if the rumours that Grandmamma is nearing her end shouldprove true. Mlle. Blanche, with her mother and her cousin, theMarquis, know very well that, as things now stand, we areruined."
"And is the General at last in love?"
"That has nothing to do with it. Listen to me. Take these 700florins, and go and play roulette with them. Win as much for meas you can, for I am badly in need of money.
So saying, she called Nadia back to
irts of the town. My servant is an old country-woman, ill-natured from stupidity, and, moreover, there is always a nastysmell about her. I am told that the Petersburg climate is bad for me, andthat with my small means it is very expensive to live in Petersburg. Iknow all that better than all these sage and experienced counsellors andmonitors. ... But I am remaining in Petersburg; I am not going awayfrom Petersburg! I am not going away because ... ech! Why, it isabsolutely no matter whether I am going away or not going away.
But what can a decent man speak of with most pleasure?
Answer: Of himself.
Well, so I will talk about myself.
II
I want now to tell you, gentlemen, whether you care to hear it or not, whyI could not even become an insect. I tell you solemnly, that I have manytimes tried to become an insect. But I was not equal even to that. I swear,gentlemen, that to be too conscious is an illness--a real thorough-goingillness. For man's everyday needs, it would ha
like to see my father allowing any of us to go to the theatre; he'd sooner have killed us, any day. However, I went for an hour or so and saw Nastasia Philipovna, and I never slept a wink all night after. Next morning my father happened to give me two government loan bonds to sell, worth nearly five thousand roubles each. 'Sell them,' said he, 'and then take seven thousand five hundred roubles to the office, give them to the cashier, and bring me back the rest of the ten thousand, without looking in anywhere on the way; look sharp, I shall be waiting for you.' Well, I sold the bonds, but I didn't take the seven thousand roubles to the office; I went straight to the English shop and chose a pair of earrings, with a diamond the size of a nut in each. They cost four hundred roubles more than I had, so I gave my name, and they trusted me. With the earrings I went at once to Zaleshoff's. 'Come on!' I said, 'come on to Nastasia Philipovna's,' and off we went without more ado. I tell you I hadn't a notion of what w
ow about it, except that she would be better at the bottom of the river than remaining with her benefactress. So the poor child exchanged a benefactress for a benefactor. Fyodor Pavlovitch did not get a penny this time, for the general's widow was furious. She gave them nothing and cursed them both. But he had not reckoned on a dowry; what allured him was the remarkable beauty of the innocent girl, above all her innocent appearance, which had a peculiar attraction for a vicious profligate, who had hitherto admired only the coarser types of feminine beauty.
"Those innocent eyes slit my soul up like a razor," he used to say afterwards, with his loathsome snigger. In a man so depraved this might, of course, mean no more than sensual attraction. As he had received no dowry with his wife, and had, so to speak, taken her "from the halter," he did not stand on ceremony with her. Making her feel that she had "wronged" him, he took advantage of her phenomenal meekness and submissiveness to trample on the elemen
u two roubles last time for your ring and one could buy it quite new at a jeweler's for a rouble and a half."
"Give me four roubles for it, I shall redeem it, it was my father's. I shall be getting some money soon."
"A rouble and a half, and interest in advance, if you like!"
"A rouble and a half!" cried the young man.
"Please yourself"--and the old woman handed him back the watch. The young man took it, and was so angry that he was on the point of going away; but checked himself at once, remembering that there was nowhere else he could go, and that he had had another object also in coming.
"Hand it over," he said roughly.
The old woman fumbled in her pocket for her keys, and disappeared behind the curtain into the other room. The young man, left standing alone in the middle of the room, listened inquisitively, thinking. He could hear her unlocking the chest of drawers.
"It must be the top drawer," he reflected. "So she carries the keys in a pocket on the right
is inclined to grumble, but do not mindthat, Barbara. God bless her, for she is an excellent soul!
But what sort of an abode have I lighted upon, Barbara Alexievna?What sort of a tenement, do you think, is this? Formerly, as youknow, I used to live in absolute stillness--so much so that if afly took wing it could plainly be heard buzzing. Here, however,all is turmoil and shouting and clatter. The PLAN of the tenementyou know already. Imagine a long corridor, quite dark, and by nomeans clean. To the right a dead wall, and to the left a row ofdoors stretching as far as the line of rooms extends. These roomsare tenanted by different people--by one, by two, or by threelodgers as the case may be, but in this arrangement there is nosort of system, and the place is a perfect Noah's Ark. Most ofthe lodgers are respectable, educated, and even bookish people.In particular they include a tchinovnik (one of the literarystaff in some government department), who is so well-read that hecan expound Homer or
s a new and a miraculous revelation superseding the old revelation of fifteen hundred years ago, when Thou didst so repeatedly tell the people: "The truth shall make you free." Behold then, Thy "free" people now!' adds the old man with sombre irony. 'Yea!... it has cost us dearly.' he continues, sternly looking at his victim. 'But we have at last accomplished our task, and--in Thy name.... For fifteen long centuries we had to toil and suffer owing to that "freedom": but now we have prevailed and our work is done, and well and strongly it is done. ....Believest not Thou it is so very strong? ... And why should Thou look at me so meekly as if I were not worthy even of Thy indignation?... Know then, that now, and only now, Thy people feel fully sure and satisfied of their freedom; and that only since they have themselves and of their own free will delivered that freedom unto our hands by placing it submissively at our feet. But then, that is what we have done. Is it that which Thou has striven for? Is this the k
rently in token of approval and assent to all this, and bent an inquisitorial interrogative gaze upon his visitor.
"I have come to trouble you a second time, Krestyan Ivanovitch," began Mr. Golyadkin, with a smile, "and now I venture to ask your indulgence a second time...." He was obviously at a loss for words.
"H'm... Yes!" pronounced Krestyan Ivanovitch, puffing out a spiral of smoke and putting down his cigar on the table, "but you must follow the treatment prescribed to you; I explained to you that what would be beneficial to your health is a change of habits.... Entertainment, for instance, and, well, friends - you should visit your acquaintances, and not be hostile to the bottle; and likewise keep cheerful company."
Mr. Golyadkin, still smiling, hastened to observe that he thought he was like every one else, that he lived by himself, that he had entertainments like every one else... that, of course, he might go to the theatre, for he had the means like every one else, that he spent
o go to such lengths, and I also hate you and stillmore--because you are so necessary to me. For the time being Iwant you, so I must keep you."
Then she made a movement to rise. Her tone had sounded veryangry. Indeed, of late her talks with me had invariably ended ona note of temper and irritation--yes, of real temper.
"May I ask you who is this Mlle. Blanche?" I inquired (since Idid not wish Polina to depart without an explanation).
"You KNOW who she is--just Mlle. Blanche. Nothing further hastranspired. Probably she will soon be Madame General--that is tosay, if the rumours that Grandmamma is nearing her end shouldprove true. Mlle. Blanche, with her mother and her cousin, theMarquis, know very well that, as things now stand, we areruined."
"And is the General at last in love?"
"That has nothing to do with it. Listen to me. Take these 700florins, and go and play roulette with them. Win as much for meas you can, for I am badly in need of money.
So saying, she called Nadia back to
irts of the town. My servant is an old country-woman, ill-natured from stupidity, and, moreover, there is always a nastysmell about her. I am told that the Petersburg climate is bad for me, andthat with my small means it is very expensive to live in Petersburg. Iknow all that better than all these sage and experienced counsellors andmonitors. ... But I am remaining in Petersburg; I am not going awayfrom Petersburg! I am not going away because ... ech! Why, it isabsolutely no matter whether I am going away or not going away.
But what can a decent man speak of with most pleasure?
Answer: Of himself.
Well, so I will talk about myself.
II
I want now to tell you, gentlemen, whether you care to hear it or not, whyI could not even become an insect. I tell you solemnly, that I have manytimes tried to become an insect. But I was not equal even to that. I swear,gentlemen, that to be too conscious is an illness--a real thorough-goingillness. For man's everyday needs, it would ha
like to see my father allowing any of us to go to the theatre; he'd sooner have killed us, any day. However, I went for an hour or so and saw Nastasia Philipovna, and I never slept a wink all night after. Next morning my father happened to give me two government loan bonds to sell, worth nearly five thousand roubles each. 'Sell them,' said he, 'and then take seven thousand five hundred roubles to the office, give them to the cashier, and bring me back the rest of the ten thousand, without looking in anywhere on the way; look sharp, I shall be waiting for you.' Well, I sold the bonds, but I didn't take the seven thousand roubles to the office; I went straight to the English shop and chose a pair of earrings, with a diamond the size of a nut in each. They cost four hundred roubles more than I had, so I gave my name, and they trusted me. With the earrings I went at once to Zaleshoff's. 'Come on!' I said, 'come on to Nastasia Philipovna's,' and off we went without more ado. I tell you I hadn't a notion of what w
ow about it, except that she would be better at the bottom of the river than remaining with her benefactress. So the poor child exchanged a benefactress for a benefactor. Fyodor Pavlovitch did not get a penny this time, for the general's widow was furious. She gave them nothing and cursed them both. But he had not reckoned on a dowry; what allured him was the remarkable beauty of the innocent girl, above all her innocent appearance, which had a peculiar attraction for a vicious profligate, who had hitherto admired only the coarser types of feminine beauty.
"Those innocent eyes slit my soul up like a razor," he used to say afterwards, with his loathsome snigger. In a man so depraved this might, of course, mean no more than sensual attraction. As he had received no dowry with his wife, and had, so to speak, taken her "from the halter," he did not stand on ceremony with her. Making her feel that she had "wronged" him, he took advantage of her phenomenal meekness and submissiveness to trample on the elemen
u two roubles last time for your ring and one could buy it quite new at a jeweler's for a rouble and a half."
"Give me four roubles for it, I shall redeem it, it was my father's. I shall be getting some money soon."
"A rouble and a half, and interest in advance, if you like!"
"A rouble and a half!" cried the young man.
"Please yourself"--and the old woman handed him back the watch. The young man took it, and was so angry that he was on the point of going away; but checked himself at once, remembering that there was nowhere else he could go, and that he had had another object also in coming.
"Hand it over," he said roughly.
The old woman fumbled in her pocket for her keys, and disappeared behind the curtain into the other room. The young man, left standing alone in the middle of the room, listened inquisitively, thinking. He could hear her unlocking the chest of drawers.
"It must be the top drawer," he reflected. "So she carries the keys in a pocket on the right