ly thing which appeared black and was not black. Spike shuddered. He had never liked the sight of blood.
The match spluttered and went out. Spike looked around. He felt hopelessly alone. Not a pedestrian; not a light. The houses, set well back from the street, were dark, forbiddingly dark.
He saw a street-car rattle past, bound on the final run of the night for the car-sheds at East End. Then he was alone again--alone and frightened.
He felt the necessity for action. He must do something--something, but what? What was there to do?
A great fear gripped him. He was with the body. The body was in his cab. He would be arrested for the murder of the man!
Of course he knew he didn't do it. The woman had committed the murder.
Spike swore. He had almost forgotten the woman. Where was she? How had she managed to leave the taxicab? When had the man, who now lay sprawled in the cab, entered it?
He had driven straight from the Union Station to the address given by the woma
illings, say five, say two andsix. You don't say even two and six? You say two and three? No.You shan't have the lot for two and three. I'd sooner give it toyou, if you was good-looking enough. Here! Missis! Chuck the oldman and woman into the cart, put the horse to, and drive 'em awayand bury 'em!" Such were the last words of Willum Marigold, my ownfather, and they were carried out, by him and by his wife, my ownmother, on one and the same day, as I ought to know, having followedas mourner.
My father had been a lovely one in his time at the Cheap Jack work,as his dying observations went to prove. But I top him. I don'tsay it because it's myself, but because it has been universallyacknowledged by all that has had the means of comparison. I haveworked at it. I have measured myself against other publicspeakers,--Members of Parliament, Platforms, Pulpits, Counsellearned in the law,--and where I have found 'em good, I have took abit of imagination from 'em, and where I have found 'em
me may be rotten;
But if twenty for accidents should be detach'd,
It will leave me just sixty sound eggs to hatch'd.
"Well, sixty sound eggs--no; sound chickens, I mean;
Of these some may die--we'll suppose seventeen--
Seventeen!--not so many--say ten at the most,
Which will leave fifty chickens to boil or to roast.
"But then there's their barley; how much will they need?
Why they take but one grain at a time when they feed,
So that's a mere trifle; now then let us see,
At a fair market price, how much money there'll be?
"Six shillings a pair--five--four--three-and-six,
To prevent all mistakes, that low price I will fix;
Now what will that make? fifty chickens, I said,
Fifty times three-and-sixpence--_I'll ask brother Ned_.
"Oh! but stop--three-and-sixpence a _pair_ I must sell 'em; Well, a pair is a couple--now then let us tell 'em;
A couple in fifty will go--(my poor brain!)
Why just a score times, and five pair will remain.
When you get tired of hunting for a job, why not relax withHUMOR at [email protected]. This mailing list distributeshumor of all types, topics and tastes. To subscribe, send thefollowing command to the LISTSERV:
SUB HUMOR [firstname] [lastname]
Chapter 6: Your personal HealthNet==================================
Health is a concern in most families. Where a family member or afriend is suffering from cancer, AIDS, a serious disability, or arare disease, finding help is imperative.
Fortunately,
re I picked him up, do you?"
"I know where you said you picked him up. You said he was a stray soul lost in the wilderness of this great metropolis and that you had rescued him. You said you'd found him in front of your apartment building wasting away in the last stages of starvation, so I knew you were blind drunk, because the man had a belly like a balloon."
"In front of my apartment," Doan repeated thoughtfully. "This is all news to me. Could you give me a short and colorful description of this gentleman by the name of Smith?"
"He was tall and pot-bellied, and he had black eyebrows that looked like caterpillars and a mustache the rats had been nesting in, and he wore dark glasses and kept his hat on and his overcoat collar turned up. I mind particularly the mustache, because you kept asking him if you could tweak it."
"Ah," said Doan quietly. He knew now where he had gotten the instinctive warning about the metal case. Drunk as Doan had been, he had retained enough powers of obs
'Do you suppose,' I asked suddenly, 'that anyone exists twice on the same earth? Reincarnation in the sense of the Hindus?'
He laughed scornfully. 'The age of the earth is somewhere between a thousand million and three thousand million years. What proportion of eternity is that?'
'Why--no proportion at all. Zero.'
'Exactly. And zero represents the chance of the same atoms combining to form the same person twice in one cycle of a planet. But I have shown that trillions, or trillions of trillions of years ago, there must have been another earth, another Jack Anders, and'--his voice took on that whining note--'another crash that ruined Jack Anders and old de Neant. That is the time you must remember out of lethargy.'
'Catalepsy!' I said. 'What would one remember in that?'
'God knows.'
'What a mad scheme!' I said suddenly. 'What a crazy pair of fools we are!' The adjectives were a mistake.
'Mad? Crazy?' His voice became a screech. 'Old de Neant is mad, eh?
id touching them. Don Jose, having begged me to excuse the liberty he took in placing himself so near me, lay down across the door, but not until he had primed his blunderbuss afresh and carefully laid it under the wallet, which served him as a pillow.
I had thought I was so tired that I should be able to sleep even in such a lodging. But within an hour a most unpleasant itching sensation roused me from my first nap. As soon as I realized its nature, I rose to my feet, feeling convinced I should do far better to spend the rest of the night in the open air than beneath that inhospitable roof. Walking tiptoe I reached the door, stepped over Don Jose, who was sleeping the sleep of the just, and managed so well that I got outside the building without waking him. Just beside the door there was a wide wooden bench. I lay down upon it, and settled myself, as best I could, for the remainder of the night. I was just closing my eyes for a second time when I fancied I saw the shadow of a man and then the shadow o
his statements, is hopelessly vain.
It is all undeniable, no doubt; from every side we make out that the criticism of a book--not the people in the book, not the character of the author, but the book--is impossible. We cannot remember the book, and even if we could, we should still be unable to describe it in literal and unequivocal terms. It cannot be done; and the only thing to be said is that perhaps it can be approached, perhaps the book can be seen, a little more closely in one way than in another. It is a modest claim, and my own attempt to assert it will be still more modest. A few familiar novels, possibly a dozen, by still fewer writers--it will be enough if I can view this small handful with some particularity. And I shall consider them, too, with no idea of criticizing all their aspects, or even more than one. How they are made is the only question I shall ask; and though indeed that is a question which incidentally raises a good many others--questions of the intention of the novelist, his c
ice not in whathe has been taught to believe; not in this Church's doctrine or in that;not in this issue, or in that issue; but "in the Truth." He will acceptonly what is real; he will strive to get at facts; he will search forTruth with a humble and unbiassed mind, and cherish whatever he finds atany sacrifice. The Greatest Thing in the World.
March 1st. "Consider the lilies of the field how they grow." Christ madethe lilies and He made me--both on the same broad principle. Bothtogether, man and flower . . .; but as men are dull at studyingthemselves. He points to this companion-phenomenon to teach us how tolive a free and natural life, a life which God will unfold for us,without our anxiety, as He unfolds the flower. Natural Law, Growth, p.123.
March 2d. Our efforts after Christian growth seem only a succession offailures, and, instead of rising into the beauty of holiness, our life isa daily heart-break and humiliation. Natural Law, Growth, p. 125.
March 3d. The lilies grow, Christ sa
ly thing which appeared black and was not black. Spike shuddered. He had never liked the sight of blood.
The match spluttered and went out. Spike looked around. He felt hopelessly alone. Not a pedestrian; not a light. The houses, set well back from the street, were dark, forbiddingly dark.
He saw a street-car rattle past, bound on the final run of the night for the car-sheds at East End. Then he was alone again--alone and frightened.
He felt the necessity for action. He must do something--something, but what? What was there to do?
A great fear gripped him. He was with the body. The body was in his cab. He would be arrested for the murder of the man!
Of course he knew he didn't do it. The woman had committed the murder.
Spike swore. He had almost forgotten the woman. Where was she? How had she managed to leave the taxicab? When had the man, who now lay sprawled in the cab, entered it?
He had driven straight from the Union Station to the address given by the woma
illings, say five, say two andsix. You don't say even two and six? You say two and three? No.You shan't have the lot for two and three. I'd sooner give it toyou, if you was good-looking enough. Here! Missis! Chuck the oldman and woman into the cart, put the horse to, and drive 'em awayand bury 'em!" Such were the last words of Willum Marigold, my ownfather, and they were carried out, by him and by his wife, my ownmother, on one and the same day, as I ought to know, having followedas mourner.
My father had been a lovely one in his time at the Cheap Jack work,as his dying observations went to prove. But I top him. I don'tsay it because it's myself, but because it has been universallyacknowledged by all that has had the means of comparison. I haveworked at it. I have measured myself against other publicspeakers,--Members of Parliament, Platforms, Pulpits, Counsellearned in the law,--and where I have found 'em good, I have took abit of imagination from 'em, and where I have found 'em
me may be rotten;
But if twenty for accidents should be detach'd,
It will leave me just sixty sound eggs to hatch'd.
"Well, sixty sound eggs--no; sound chickens, I mean;
Of these some may die--we'll suppose seventeen--
Seventeen!--not so many--say ten at the most,
Which will leave fifty chickens to boil or to roast.
"But then there's their barley; how much will they need?
Why they take but one grain at a time when they feed,
So that's a mere trifle; now then let us see,
At a fair market price, how much money there'll be?
"Six shillings a pair--five--four--three-and-six,
To prevent all mistakes, that low price I will fix;
Now what will that make? fifty chickens, I said,
Fifty times three-and-sixpence--_I'll ask brother Ned_.
"Oh! but stop--three-and-sixpence a _pair_ I must sell 'em; Well, a pair is a couple--now then let us tell 'em;
A couple in fifty will go--(my poor brain!)
Why just a score times, and five pair will remain.
When you get tired of hunting for a job, why not relax withHUMOR at [email protected]. This mailing list distributeshumor of all types, topics and tastes. To subscribe, send thefollowing command to the LISTSERV:
SUB HUMOR [firstname] [lastname]
Chapter 6: Your personal HealthNet==================================
Health is a concern in most families. Where a family member or afriend is suffering from cancer, AIDS, a serious disability, or arare disease, finding help is imperative.
Fortunately,
re I picked him up, do you?"
"I know where you said you picked him up. You said he was a stray soul lost in the wilderness of this great metropolis and that you had rescued him. You said you'd found him in front of your apartment building wasting away in the last stages of starvation, so I knew you were blind drunk, because the man had a belly like a balloon."
"In front of my apartment," Doan repeated thoughtfully. "This is all news to me. Could you give me a short and colorful description of this gentleman by the name of Smith?"
"He was tall and pot-bellied, and he had black eyebrows that looked like caterpillars and a mustache the rats had been nesting in, and he wore dark glasses and kept his hat on and his overcoat collar turned up. I mind particularly the mustache, because you kept asking him if you could tweak it."
"Ah," said Doan quietly. He knew now where he had gotten the instinctive warning about the metal case. Drunk as Doan had been, he had retained enough powers of obs
'Do you suppose,' I asked suddenly, 'that anyone exists twice on the same earth? Reincarnation in the sense of the Hindus?'
He laughed scornfully. 'The age of the earth is somewhere between a thousand million and three thousand million years. What proportion of eternity is that?'
'Why--no proportion at all. Zero.'
'Exactly. And zero represents the chance of the same atoms combining to form the same person twice in one cycle of a planet. But I have shown that trillions, or trillions of trillions of years ago, there must have been another earth, another Jack Anders, and'--his voice took on that whining note--'another crash that ruined Jack Anders and old de Neant. That is the time you must remember out of lethargy.'
'Catalepsy!' I said. 'What would one remember in that?'
'God knows.'
'What a mad scheme!' I said suddenly. 'What a crazy pair of fools we are!' The adjectives were a mistake.
'Mad? Crazy?' His voice became a screech. 'Old de Neant is mad, eh?
id touching them. Don Jose, having begged me to excuse the liberty he took in placing himself so near me, lay down across the door, but not until he had primed his blunderbuss afresh and carefully laid it under the wallet, which served him as a pillow.
I had thought I was so tired that I should be able to sleep even in such a lodging. But within an hour a most unpleasant itching sensation roused me from my first nap. As soon as I realized its nature, I rose to my feet, feeling convinced I should do far better to spend the rest of the night in the open air than beneath that inhospitable roof. Walking tiptoe I reached the door, stepped over Don Jose, who was sleeping the sleep of the just, and managed so well that I got outside the building without waking him. Just beside the door there was a wide wooden bench. I lay down upon it, and settled myself, as best I could, for the remainder of the night. I was just closing my eyes for a second time when I fancied I saw the shadow of a man and then the shadow o
his statements, is hopelessly vain.
It is all undeniable, no doubt; from every side we make out that the criticism of a book--not the people in the book, not the character of the author, but the book--is impossible. We cannot remember the book, and even if we could, we should still be unable to describe it in literal and unequivocal terms. It cannot be done; and the only thing to be said is that perhaps it can be approached, perhaps the book can be seen, a little more closely in one way than in another. It is a modest claim, and my own attempt to assert it will be still more modest. A few familiar novels, possibly a dozen, by still fewer writers--it will be enough if I can view this small handful with some particularity. And I shall consider them, too, with no idea of criticizing all their aspects, or even more than one. How they are made is the only question I shall ask; and though indeed that is a question which incidentally raises a good many others--questions of the intention of the novelist, his c
ice not in whathe has been taught to believe; not in this Church's doctrine or in that;not in this issue, or in that issue; but "in the Truth." He will acceptonly what is real; he will strive to get at facts; he will search forTruth with a humble and unbiassed mind, and cherish whatever he finds atany sacrifice. The Greatest Thing in the World.
March 1st. "Consider the lilies of the field how they grow." Christ madethe lilies and He made me--both on the same broad principle. Bothtogether, man and flower . . .; but as men are dull at studyingthemselves. He points to this companion-phenomenon to teach us how tolive a free and natural life, a life which God will unfold for us,without our anxiety, as He unfolds the flower. Natural Law, Growth, p.123.
March 2d. Our efforts after Christian growth seem only a succession offailures, and, instead of rising into the beauty of holiness, our life isa daily heart-break and humiliation. Natural Law, Growth, p. 125.
March 3d. The lilies grow, Christ sa