Stalky & Co. by Rudyard Kipling (young adult books to read .txt) đ
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âIt is not often that I do not understand you; but I confess I do not to-night. Some of you, after your idiotic performances at prep., seem to think me a fit person to cheer. I am going to show you that I am not.â
Crashâcrashâcrashâcame the triple cheer that disproved it, and the Head glowered under the gas. âThat is enough. You will gain nothing. The little boys (the Lower School did not like that form of address) will do me three hundred lines apiece in the holidays. I shall take no further notice of them. The Upper School will do me one thousand lines apiece in the holidays, to be shown up the evening of the day they come back. And furtherââ
âGummy, what a glutton!â Stalky whispered.
âFor your behavior towards Mr. Mason I intend to lick the whole of the Upper School to-morrow when I give you your journey-money. This will include the three study-boys I found dancing on the form-room desks when I came up. Prefects will stay after callover.â
The school filed out in silence, but gathered in groups by the gymnasium door waiting what might befall.
âAnd now, Flint,â said the Head, âwill you be good enough to give me some explanation of your conduct?â
âWell, sir,â said Flint desperately, âif you save a chapâs life at the risk of your own when heâs dyinâ of diphtheria, and the Coll. finds it out, wha-what can you expect, sir?â
âUm, I see. Then that noise was not meant forâah, cheek. I can connive at immorality, but I cannot stand impudence. However, it does not excuse their insolence to Mr. Mason. Iâll forego the lines this once, remember; but the lickings hold good.â
When this news was made public, the school, lost in wonder and admiration, gasped at the Head as he went to his house. Here was a man to be reverenced. On the rare occasions when he caned he did it very scientifically, and the execution of a hundred boys would be epicâimmense.
âItâs all right, Head Sahib. We know,â said Crandall, as the Head slipped off his gown with a grunt in his smoking-room. âI found out just now from our substitute. He was gettinâ my opinion of your performance last night in the dormitory. I didnât know then that it was you he was talkinâ about. Crafty young animal. Freckled chap with eyesâCorkran, I think his name is.â
âOh, I know him, thank you,â said the Head, and reflectively. âYe-es, I should have included them even if I hadnât seen âem.â
âIf the old Coll. werenât a little above themselves already, weâd chair you down the corridor,â said the Engineer. âOh, Bates, how could you? You might have caught it yourself, and where would we have been, then?â
âI always knew you were worth twenty of us any day. Now Iâm sure of it,â said the Squadron Commander, looking round for contradictions.
âHe isnât fit to manage a school, though. Promise youâll never do it again, Bates Sahib. Weâwe canât go away comfy in our minds if you take these risks,â said the Gunner.
âBates Sahib, you arenât ever goinâ to cane the whole Upper School, are you?â said Crandall.
âI can connive at immorality, as I said, but I canât stand impudence. Masonâs lot is quite hard enough even when I back him. Besides, the men at the golf-club heard them singing âAaron and Moses.â I shall have complaints about that from the parents of dayboys. Decency must be preserved.â
âWeâre coming to help,â said all the guests.
The Upper School were caned one after the other, their overcoats over their arms, the brakes waiting in the road below to take them to the station, their journey-money on the table. The Head began with Stalky, McTurk, and Beetle. He dealt faithfully by them.
âAnd hereâs your journey-money. Good-by, and pleasant holidays.â
âGood-by. Thank you, sir. Good-by.â
They shook hands. âDesire donât outrun performanceâmuchâthis morninâ. We got the cream of it,â said Stalky. âNow wait till a few chaps come out, and weâll really cheer him.â
âDonât wait on our account, please,â said Crandall, speaking for the Old Boys. âWeâre going to begin now.â
It was very well so long as the cheering was confined to the corridor, but when it spread to the gymnasium, when the boys awaiting their turn cheered, the Head gave it up in despair, and the remnant flung themselves upon him to shake hands. Then they seriously devoted themselves to cheering till the brakes were hustled off the premises in dumb-show.
âDidnât I say Iâd get even with him?â said Stalky on the box-seat, as they swung into the narrow Northam street. âNow all togetherâtakinâ time from your Uncle Stalky: âItâs a way we have in the Army, Itâs a way we have in the Navy, Itâs a way we have at the Public Schools, Which nobody can deny!â
THE FLAG OF THEIR COUNTRY.
It was winter and bitter cold of mornings. Consequently Stalky and BeetleâMcTurk being of the offensive type that makes ornate toilet under all circumstances-drowsed till the last moment before turning out to callover in the gas-lit gymnasium. It followed that they were often late; and since every unpunctuality earned them a black mark, and since three black marks a week meant defaultersâ drill, equally it followed that they spent hours under the Sergeantâs hand. Foxy drilled the defaulters with all the pomp of his old parade-ground. âDonât think itâs any pleasure to meâ (his introduction never varied). âIâd much sooner be smoking a quiet pipe in my own quartersâbut I see we âave the Old Brigade on our âands this afternoon. If I only âad you regular, Muster Corkran,â said he, dressing the line.
âYouâve had me for nearly six weeks, you old glutton. Number off from the right!â
âNot quite so previous, please. Iâm taking this drill. Left, halfâturn! Slowâmarch.â Twenty-five sluggards, all old offenders, filed into the gymnasium. âQuietly provide yourselves with the requisite dumb-bells; returninâ quietly to your place. Number off from the right, in a low voice. Odd numbers one pace to the front. Even numbers stand fast. Now, leaninâ forward from the âips, takinâ your time from me.â
The dumb-bells rose and fell, clashed and were returned as one. The boys were experts at the weary game.
âVe-ry good. I shall be sorry when any of you resume your âabits of punctuality. Quietly return dumb-bells. We will now try some simple drill.â
âUgh! I know that simple drill.â
âIt would he âighly to your discredit if you did not, Muster Corkran. At the same time, it is not so easy as it looks.â
âBet you a bob, I can drill as well as you, Foxy.â
âWeâll see later. Now try to imagine you ainât defaulters at all, but an âarf company on parade, me beinâ your commandinâ officer. Thereâs no call to laugh. If youâre lucky, most of you will âave to take drills âarf your life. Do me a little credit. Youâve been at it long enough, goodness knows.â
They were formed into fours, marched, wheeled, and countermarched, the spell of ordered motion strong on them. As Foxy said, they had been at it a long time.
The gymnasium door opened, revealing McTurk in charge of an old gentleman.
The Sergeant, leading a wheel, did not see. âNot so bad,â he murmured. âNot âarf so bad. The pivot-man of the wheel honly marks time, Muster Swayne. Now, Muster Corkran, you say you know the drill? Oblige me by takinâ over the command and, reversinâ my words step by step, relegate them to their previous formation.â
âWhatâs this? Whatâs this?â cried the visitor authoritatively.
âAâa little drill, sir,â stammered Foxy, saying nothing of first causes.
âExcellentâexcellent. I only wish there were more of it,â he chirruped. âDonât let me interrupt. You were just going to hand over to someone, werenât you?â
He sat down, breathing frostily in the chill air. âI shall muck it. I know I shall,â whispered Stalky uneasily; and his discomfort was not lightened by a murmur from the rear rank that the old gentleman was General Collinson, a member of the College Board of Council.
âEhâwhat?â said Foxy.
âCollinson, K.C.B.âHe commanded the Pompadours-my fatherâs old regiment,â hissed Swayne major.
âTake your time,â said the visitor. âI know how it feels. Your first drillâeh?â
âYes, sir.â He drew an unhappy breath. ââTention. Dress!â The echo of his own voice restored his confidence.
The wheel was faced about, flung back, broken into fours, and restored to line without a falter. The official hour of punishment was long passed, but no one thought of that. They were backing up StalkyâStalky in deadly fear lest his voice should crack.
âHe does you credit, Sergeant,â was the visitorâs comment. âA good drillâand good material to drill. Now, itâs an extraordinary thing: Iâve been lunching with your head-master and he never told me you had a cadet-corps in the College.â
âWe âavenât, sir. This is only a little drill,â said the Sergeant.
âBut arenât they keen on it?â said McTurk, speaking for the first time, with a twinkle in his deep-set eyes.
âWhy arenât you in it, though, Willy?â
âOh, Iâm not punctual enough,â said McTurk. âThe Sergeant only takes the pick of us.â
âDismiss! Break off!â cried Foxy, fearing an explosion in the ranks. âIâI ought to have told you, sir, thatââ
âBut you should have a cadet-corps.â The General pursued his own line of thought. âYou shall have a cadet-corps, too, if my recommendation in Council is any use. I donât know when Iâve been so pleased. Boys animated by a spirit like yours should set an example to the whole school.â
âThey do,â said McTurk.
âBless my soul! Can it be so late? Iâve kept my fly waiting half an hoar. Well, I must run away. Nothing like seeing things for oneâs self. Which end of the buildings does one get out at? Will you show me, Willy? Who was that boy who took the drill?â
âCorkran, I think his name is.â
âYou ought to know him. Thatâs the kind of boy you should cultivate. Evidently an unusual sort. A wonderful sight. Five and twenty boys, who, I dare say, would much sooner be playing cricketââ(it was the depth of winter; but grown people, especially those who have lived long in foreign parts, make these little errors, and McTurk did not correct him)ââdrilling for the sheer love of it. A shame to waste so much good stuff; but I think I can carry my point.â
âAnâ whoâs your friend with the white whiskers?â demanded Stalky, on McTurkâs return to the study.
âGeneral Collinson. He comes over to shoot with my father sometimes. Rather a decent old bargee, too. He said I ought to cultivate your acquaintance, Stalky.â
âDid he tip you?â McTurk exhibited a blessed whole sovereign.
âAh,â said Stalky, annexing it, for he was treasurer. âWeâll have a hefty brew. Youâd pretty average cool cheek, Turkey, to jaw about our keenness anâ punctuality.â
âDidnât the old boy know we were defaulters?â said Beetle.
âNot him. He came down to lunch with the Head. I found him pokinâ about the place on his own hook afterwards, anâ I thought Iâd show him the giddy drill. When I found he was so pleased, I wasnât goinâ to damp his giddy ardor. He mightnât haâ given me the quid if I had.â
âWasnât old Foxy pleased? Did you see him get pink behind the ears?â said Beetle. âIt was an awful score for him. Didnât we back him up beautifully? Letâs go down to Keyteâs and get some cocoa and sassingers.â
They overtook
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