Problems. by Alexis Adolpho (simple e reader txt) 📖

The same.

Everyday's, the same, 

she fight's,

to find her way,

she hurt's,

she break's,

she hide's, 

and she tries to pray,

she wonder's why.

Does anyone ever hear her when she cries?

People

 Some people can't think about the future,

if they are stuck in the past.

The past can be dark, cold, and lonely,

but she think's that they need to figure some things out

on their own and at their own pace. 

She tries

She tries to be strong but she couldn't take the pain anymore, it just get's worse than before, she just want's to be happy again, and actually smile for once in her life, instead of faking a smile, she's tired of feeling used, or getting hurt, but she doesn't want to be alone anymore. Maybe her friend was right. That you don't need to make her feel worse about herself, you don't need to talk behind her back. You don't need to keep telling her that she's a different person. You don't need to worry about her. You don't need to say that everything will be alright.You don't need to say she's annoying. You don't need to tell her to be strong. She doesn't need to hear any of this. You can say what you want it won't make her feel any better. She know's what she is doing wrong. She know's what is making you runaway. All she can say is that she is done. She's tired of feeling alone, usless, hopeless, never proud of, ext. This is her goodbye to you. 

Do they realize

 How do people not realize that she's in pain. Tears are running down her face, and people still don't show that they care. They just leave her alone. What if she doesn't want to be alone anymore or what if she's asking for help and no one will listen to her. Maybe she was born to be alone in a dark scary place and to have no one. Maybe she's to depressed and is just ready to give up. She tries to be happy but all she can do is fake a smile. She thought her life was finally starting to get better at one point in time but now she knows that it will never be better. Because she realized that she can't run away from this dark feeling because it will always find her.

 

Why her?

Why must she be the one who alway's get's hurt. She's been cheated on before, now it feel's like it's happening all over again. She feel's used, gross, and she feel's like she's not the same anymore. She feel's so lost. These are the moments that she wshes that her dad would just be there for her, his own daughter. She doesn't know what to do. She's so confused. Should she leave him, or should she stay? Her friends don't like him, and probably never will like him. She wonder's what her Uncle would say. Will he tell her to leave him? She doesn't know. These are the question's that pop into her head at night.

Losing him.

Losing him because of worries, and heartbreak.

She feel's like she is losing him.

Everyday that passes by wwithout a Hi, is another day of heartbreak, and worries in her mind.

Aer they losing eachother?

Is this a sign?

What can she do?

Can she do anything?

Is she losing the man that she fell in love with?

If so why?

She just doesn't know what she can do anymore.

Where is the love. 

The unknown feeling

 And here she sit's, wondering how Eve felt after that apple she bit, last of a dying breed, She should cut deeper for a faster bleed, living is no longer in need, greatful she didnt plant her seed, and she lived life on it's fastest speed so here she is with the world in her hand, But she's only woman, complexities understood but can't see her simple plan. They say in complete darkness she can find light. Must be true because in depression she found peace of happiness, for a monument of two, she even got to share some with him. But it's all a game, and it's all the same, when she's gone, she wrote this so he won't forget her name, she just couldn't deal anyomore and he know's, this is why she's gotta let go. Can't keep going against the flow, can't get these thought's out of her head, a wise man once said " No man ever step's in the same river twice", such philosopy couldn't be more concise, she bet's that he didn't take his own adivce, ending life with her own device, who knew she was setting up her own demise, safe to say her thought's got comprise, from 99-14 and everything in between, it all seem's like a movie screen, nothing is real because this is all God's dream, Dream's, Nightmare's,where angel's only scream she just want's to float up, up, and away. Does think Cobain make's it up by saying "God is gay?" Street caligraphy, promise he'll miss her, and this is hard to do, to write this for him, She love's him, she love's him.

She's Ready

She's ready to give up on life, her family is having a war between each other, she's go I g insane, she wants to cry but she cant, she needs to be strong for herself, she already gave up on her father, but she doesn't want to lose her little brother. He is the reason why she is still on earth today. Nobody she's her pain. She wants to scream but doesnt, she is hopeless, unhappy, giving up on faith, she is going insane, her life is so screwed up that she tells herself that she is nothing but a f*** up, and that she belongs in a mental hospital, she wants her life to go back to normal again. But it's to late for that, the darkness has already taken over her life. She is to fragile now, Her older brother hate her now, her dad probably does to but she does t care anymore. He already lost her, but that's his fault. He made those choices to lose her, she only has her mother now.