Beautiful Darkness by Maurice Mitchell (literature books to read TXT) đź“–
- Author: Maurice Mitchell
Book online «Beautiful Darkness by Maurice Mitchell (literature books to read TXT) 📖». Author Maurice Mitchell
I was in these apartment complexes looking for a specific party one night trying to meet a friend of mine. I was slightly intoxicated and couldn’t remember which apartment he said it was in. The building was brand new and there weren’t any people or noise in the hallway. I felt the party couldn’t be in that building, but I did hear music coming from a specific apartment. I knocked on the door and a short, stocky white boy answered. He told me with an attitude that who I was looking for wasn’t there, then he slammed the door in my face. I wanted to laugh it off, I swear I did, but I couldn’t, I kicked the door out of frustration and began to make my way down the hall. Before I could reach the hallway door, he opened his apartment door and yelled, “Kick my door again ni**a!” Now being that this white boy dressed and talked like a black guy, I’m not exactly sure what he meant by the term. All I knew was it was offensive, and I was pist. I ran back to the door and tried to grab him, but he ducked inside. Before I could put my hands on him, everybody who was inside began coming out, and to my surprise, it was Brent and his new friends. The last time I saw Brent up close we got into it and I smacked him, I had a feeling this wouldn’t be pretty. Still, I was intoxicated and so angry in the moment that I still tried to get to the white boy while Brent’s people where trying to throw me back in the hall way. Once I realized that Brent was one of the people grabbing me I swung on him. I missed, and then one of his boys grabbed me and we started wrestling in the hallway. They tried to jump me and I remember making my way out the door and finally getting outside. Once I got outside I pulled my knife out and everybody’s intentions immediately changed. I remember hearing “Oh this ni**a got a knife” and “He ain’t stabbing me though.” I don’t remember much after that, I blacked out. What I do know is, I was drunk and I was outnumbered at least six or seven to one. I left without a scratch on me. It was around that time my man D from East New York showed up with a few people and evened the playing field a little bit. D was a light skinned bigger kid, who had an attitude very similar to mine. Of course there would be no fighting now and everything was good. Once again I found myself in a situation where the results could have been so much worse, I was saved….Again. I’m not exactly sure why my luck was so bad, and how I found myself in that situation in the fist place, but still I needed to be grateful it ended the way it did. A few days later my family arrived and it was graduation time. All my boys were there and I was as happy as I’d been in a long time. A week earlier I’d got a phone call from a Top Dolla Records Rep and he said he was interested in working with me if I came back to New York. It felt like with everything I’d been through so far, all the hard work, blood, sweat, and tears were finally about to pay off. I was excited and it finally felt like my life had a meaning, a purpose. I was ready to conquer the world, and show everybody who I really was. This was my moment, and I was ready. New focus, new mind, new agenda, New York.
Chapter 24 (New Focus, New York)
So I arrived in back in New York searching for what I felt I lost as kid. I was in a search for myself, trying to find me. Back on a path that was eroded and tarnished by the necessities of life. I felt like everything I’d gone through up to that point in my life led to this very moment. There was a challenge in front of me and I was ready for it, at least I thought I was. The rep from Top Dolla Records offered for me to stay with him and work on my music. I wanted to, but my family didn’t agree, so I was convinced to move back in with my Grandmother. A decision that would later prove to be necessary but challenging. I came back home with an open attitude but a closed heart. I still had trust issues, a bad attitude towards love and many demons inside of me. It didn’t take long for the city I loved to exploit that, I ran into drama fast. I got to working with J.D the music rep pretty quickly. I called him as soon as I touched down and he started bringing me to the studio. In the beginning I was going by myself and trying to find my way in. The studio was constantly filled with dudes and it took a while before I would talk to any of them. It seemed like everybody had an agenda and nobody gave a damn about the new kid standing alone. I couldn’t be mad, I knew what it was. It was awkward though, I was so used to having a crew or at least one familiar face around me that I could trust to a certain extent. But in those times I was completely solo, surrounded by street dudes who all had the same goal, but different agendas. Eventually I started rapping and recording and I could sense the hate immediately. There was a great deal of respect between most of these dudes and myself but it was obvious I’d be making friends no time soon. See in that industry everybody is for self, and truth be told I’m a lot better then most, so I knew nobody would want to help me. Rather then help a man who could potentially bring in millions, they rather fend for self with no talent. J.D would constantly tell me to go to the studio, but he was never around. It was as if he introduced me to everybody and made it alright for me to be there, but never actually helped me develop as an artists. How the hell was I supposed to progress by going to a studio everyday and just sitting around listening and watching other artist make music. I’d already learned all I needed to know about artist, don’t trust them, and I’d already learned all I needed to know about friends, there are none. I just wanted to learn about music. I wasn’t just happy to be around platinum selling artist like Jay-Bills and Amnesia. It also wasn’t like I was just going to run up on Jay and ask him to do a joint
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