Love for a Deaf Rebel by Derrick King (romantic books to read txt) 📖

of Signing from the library. I fingerspelled “The quick brown fox jumped over the lazy dog” again and again. In a year, I would work through the book and learn most of its 1,500 signs. Learning American Sign Language for Pearl was one of the most satisfying things I ever did.

Pearl and I saw each other for lunch nearly every day. Our second date was a week after our first date, at my place. I prepared dinner in advance so my hands would be free for conversation.

My doorbell buzzed, but when I pressed the intercom button, I heard nothing but street noise, then a mumble. I pushed the door button and rushed to the lobby. Pearl followed me into my one-bedroom flat. I pointed to a bottle of tequila on the counter.

“Margarita?” I said, wondering if she could lipread me in context. She didn’t understand me, so I pointed to a bottle of margarita mix. Pearl licked her lips.

While I mixed the drinks, she surveyed my flat. My stereo dial glowed, so she put her hand on the stereo and then on a speaker. She scanned my books and records on shelves that covered the wall. She pointed at How to Make It on the Land.

I handed her the cocktail and mimed cheers. Pearl tasted the margarita, smacked her lips, and sat down.

“What do you make on the land?”

“‘Make it’ means to support yourself from your own business.”

Pearl fingerspelled, “C-a-n y-o-u f-i-n-g-e-r-s-p-e-l-l?”

“P-e-a-r-l,” I fingerspelled. My telephone rang. I ignored it and could see that Pearl hadn’t heard it. “You said something on the intercom. Did you hear me with your hearing aid?”

Pearl pulled back her hair to show me she wore no hearing aid. She mimed her face pressed against the panel, struggling to feel the vibration of a voice in the loudspeaker.

“I am sorry. I have no experience with deafness.”

“Most of hearing men just want to fuck deaf women. They think deaf women are always opening their legs. That’s not true. Many hearing men were surprised how smart I am. Many times I hurt them. I believe laws should change to make hearing men to be death by hanging or electric chair or whatsever. If one more hearing man do it to me again, I would kill him once! I want to kill them because I see how many hearing men do that to deaf women. 80% of deaf women get raped. Mother worry about I go with hearies. She prefer me to stay in deaf group. I told her that deaf group bore me and where I can go and find happiness and etc. One thing I know she already told police about me. I am still going anywhere I want!”

I wondered why her mother and the police had discussed Pearl, but I didn’t think to ask.

“You should carry ‘mace.’ Police use it.”

“No, the man can hold my hands. Mother’s friend RCMP taught me this.” Pearl mimed face-scratching and eye-poking.

“Would you like to go dancing on Saturday at Granville Island Hotel?”

“I do go dancing. Most deafies like to dance. Jodi and I used to go dancing but now she has a boyfriend.”

I borrowed a new company car for our third date. Her lobby door clicked open seconds after I pushed the intercom button, and Pearl walked out in a high-necked, lilac dress. We greeted silently and walked to the car, with no other communication, until we reached the Pelican Bay restaurant in the Granville Island Hotel, one of the most expensive venues in town.

Pearl pushed the centerpiece aside for a clear view of my hands. Her clothes weren’t beautiful, but Pearl was stunning. I took out a notepad.

“The car is from the bank. I am an engineer but I work for a bank because I believed hippies about lifestyle being important.”

Pearl pointed to tiger prawns on the menu, and I ordered them for both of us.

“I did not have any date since a long time.”

“Later there will be music so we can dance.”

“The music must be loud. Every summer we have the deaf national reunion. Last year was in Toronto. At the party many deafies dancing hard to enjoy the beats. The hotel complained, then some deafies messed up their rooms. The hotel said no more deaf! Next year we will stay for another hotel, that’s our revenge.”

Pearl taught me the sign for revenge: the thumbs and forefingers looked like birds pecking at each other.

“You can hear loud noises with a hearing aid, so are you hard-of-hearing or deaf?”

“I do not understand any words with hearing aid so I prefer deaf. HH like Jodi are not deafies and not hearies. Deafies have two communities. Deaf—’D’ and deaf—’d’. Difference is culture. Born deaf and not oral—Deaf culture. Deaf later so oral, or rich parents so oral—not Deaf culture. Some Deafies do not welcome HH. Some deafies have problem to have hearing friends. Some hate hearies. Some deaf men hate when hearing man takes deafie wife because fewer deafie woman left for them. Most of hearing woman don’t want a deaf man—few jobs for support. But deafie woman is good mother. I want to marry a man who cares me then work together to find home business plus salary. Plus 1 or 2 kids. I feel worth to have them because when I get old, they can visit me, so on. I don’t care if I have deaf or hearing. Some deafies prefer deaf children, others want hearing children to be interpreter.”

“Do deafies like hearing people to learn ASL?”

“Yes if the hearing has deaf relatives. Some hearies want to learn ASL, then teach religion to convert deafies or want to feel important to help deafies. I really hate!”

“Do you have a religion?”

“If there is God there is no deafness, no father death, no rape. Get it? If there is God why does he let my sisters blame me? One time my sister break the vase and blame me. Mother did not believe them but I said to my mother that yes I did that accident. I don’t care because I am going to deaf school.”

On Monday, three months after meeting Pearl, I registered for a course in American Sign Language. I was hooked.

Shall We Be Magnificent Couple?

I telephoned Pearl for the first time. “Message Relay Centre,” answered the operator. “What is the number you wish to call, and whom do you wish to reach?”

“555-1212 for Pearl.”

“Please wait.” I heard a keyboard tapping.

“Pearl is on the line. Go ahead.”

“Hello, Derrick here. Are you free on Friday evening to visit me?”

“Don’t forget to say ‘go ahead,’” said the operator.

“Go ahead.” I felt like I was operating a ham radio station.

“I am free. Go ahead,” the operator relayed from Pearl.

“Come at eight o’clock … see you then. Go ahead. … I’m finished talking. What do I say now?”

“Don’t talk to me. Talk to the other person,” said the operator.

“Goodbye.”

“Goodbye,” the operator relayed from Pearl.

I didn’t know it then, but I was one of the first people to use the MRC; the Western Institute for the Deaf and the BC Telephone Company had just launched it.

Pearl arrived on time. She walked around the apartment, looking at my books and collections. I was sitting at my kitchen table, analyzing numbers on columnar paper with a calculator and writing a report longhand; on Monday, my secretary would transcribe everything. I put my work aside and poured drinks. Pearl asked to see my photos, so I brought my albums from the bedroom and sat beside her as she scrutinized them.

“Why so many blank spaces?”

“When Eugénie left I divided our photos. I thought she would come back, and when she returned I would put her photos back in the book—I was so naïve!” We came to a picture of one of my best friends, Leo. “That’s Leo the cop, my best friend since grade 7. That’s my grandmother and grandfather.”

“Grandma’s family were very wealth. Grandma has 19 or 16? (I don’t remember) sisters and brothers. When my father was 2 years old, I don’t remember who took him when her mother had heart attack and laid down on kitchen floor and left my father alone. My father’s father and 4 boys (brothers) were all drowned near Squamish. Then my father got killed by a car.”

Pearl’s story shocked me, and the offhand way she talked about these disasters shocked me, too.

“Sister Nadine, 28, student. Sister Lydia, 21, student. Brother, 26, doctor.”

“How old were you when you found out you were deaf?”

“My aunts watched me tear paper to feel vibrations. When was 2 Grandma told her that I am deaf but Mother refused to accept until doctor in the hospital admitted. I was 3. Someone gave measles to her when pregnant. Many deafies are first in family.”

“Is your ex-husband deaf?”

“Hard-of-hearing like Jodi. We open up and talk deeply about something. She or I don’t feel safe to talk to another friend.”

“I talk deeply with Leo and Virgil. Do you have many hearing friends?”

“About 10. Deafies—lots but I don’t want to get close, just see them once in 2 wks. is enough. Many deafies have problems. I don’t like deafies who are negatives.”

Everyone generalizes, but the way Pearl talked about her community, either disparaging or boastful, surprised me. She didn’t seem to see deafie and hearies as equals but as “us vs. them.” Despite the language difficulties and against her mother’s advice, Pearl said she preferred to spend her time with hearing friends.

Pearl walked across the street to my condo. We were constantly dropping in on each other for tea. We scribbled like madmen as we tried to get to know each other.

“Where are you going on holidays?”

“I’ll visit grandma and grandpa for few days. Then stay at Uncle’s ranch to ride on the horse. I am going to learn to jump the fence on the horse this year.”

Pearl caught me staring at her. “It’s amazing how much your face can say.”

She smiled. “‘Body language.’ Jodi and I go to Bimini Bar once a while after health club. We don’t get bothered there. Men are thinking we are weird because of ASL. We are peace. Hardly explain to you. We don’t drink very much. Ex-boyfriend Eddy was very alcoholic. I lived with him almost 2 yrs. ago. I did not like his way. Bad influence to children in future. He’s my good friend now. I think I meet wrong men.”

Pearl’s sexual history included a homosexual, an alcoholic, and an epileptic. What was I to think of her? I thought she, like I, had been unlucky in love.

“You’ll make a wonderful wife and mother to some lucky guy.”

Pearl beamed. “I believe that I’ll be.”

“What if you met a guy you can love but who didn’t want kids?”

“Forget him for boyfriend but keep him as good friend for yrs.”

I brought a bouquet, a half-bottle of wine, and plastic glasses to our food court rendezvous, even though it was illegal to drink it there. Pearl handed me a letter, looking self-conscious. Her script was neat and her grammar better than in our speedwriting conversations.

8 May 1984

Dear Derrick.

Shall we be magnificent couple? …I want to talk with you about anything we can know each other more deep and also improve our communications (signs). Even touching—so on. I want you to teach me anything that you want. I like to try anything to expand my experiences. We create it ourselves and enjoy it together.

I do wish your separation is over. You are hearty person—wonderful! You are not naive. I really love to see your being a gentleman—to make me a woman. I really want to wear nice dress for my work and meet you for eating together. We would feel fascinate.

I notice myself that you make me week and to be loved.

I feel like to touch you but I couldn’t reach you because you are working on 20th floor, ha!

I love you, Pearl

Cupid had shot an arrow into my heart—three months after we met, six weeks after our first date, and while we were still talking on paper! But although we had connected in a magical way, I didn’t want more than friendship. Perhaps I didn’t want to take advantage of a handicap, or I was worried that my actions might be seen that way. Release of my prejudice—for that is