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and they get defensive, you will get the feeling that they are guilty as per your suspected.

Like for example, your family has warned you not to smoke any longer. But, well you know…the temptation gets the better of you… So, sneaking around you took just one cigarette and smoke it Then you realize everyone will realize that you have been smoking… Therefore, you also prepare a stock of mint candy. And you put it on your mouth every time you finished smoking… Your family and friends starting to notice eventually that you have developed this new addiction to eating candies… But actually you try to hide the bad breath after smoking to your family and friends. However someone did know why you have been doing that… And the first thing he did beside asking why you are into minty candies now is to share a story that almost similar with yours. That he or she probably loves to drink and to hide the fact from the family. And this person just wants check you out how much cigarette that you took and you becoming defensive and saying only one…

I think we will start to protect ourselves when we sense of being attacked… In this matter, we know we are doing something forbidden… And surprise enough that someone notice what we have been doing…and even bother to ask for our confirmation… In desperate attempts to keep on hiding what we have done we become defensive. We try to lie to others and ourselves that we have not been doing anything wrong… Or even worse, we try to justify the action that we have taken no matter how wrong it is… To stop others asking about it we are going to stay away from them and shut ourselves…

Little that we realize that when we are being defensive it means we sort of admitted that the thing we have done is without doubt is wrong… And the more we try to convince other that it is not…is only an indirect confirmation that it is wrong and we know exactly about that fact when we were doing it…

But then we were upset because of getting caught in bad action, does our brain can still think clearly? NO? Ahhh, don’t get defensive ;) It is so silly ^___^


DIFFERENT CULTURES




What is the boundary of being polite and a common practice?

Today, I was sitting alone enjoying my coffee at Starbuck. When I arrived I immediately sat at my fave place around the corner of the café. There is this one table and three empty sofas. I occupied one sofa and open my book and start reading. Then suddenly a woman just sat in front of me without saying anything. After a while her friend sat on the other sofa. From their language I learned that they are foreigner.

I was saying on my twitter that how rude these two women just sat on the sofas located near me without even saying anything… Like excuse themselves or something like that… What if I was waiting for a friend who would occupy that seat? Should I simply tell her to go away?

My friend then said that it is a common practice outside Indonesia… So, it was only natural those foreigners assume that it is also applied in Indonesia…

I was thinking like, really? But isn’t that a bit rude? Perhaps because I was sitting at the café which less formal compare to the restaurant? So, sitting at the café like Starbuck is more or less the same like you are having lunch at the food court where strangers usually just share the same table?

So, what is really the boundary then? I am asking because I still thinking they were impolite… Ehm, this is one of signs that I am getting old as I really easily irritated lately… Sighed…


DO NOT OVER DO




When someone I used to hang out with in the university suddenly found herself a lover that was the moment I realized that seeing her was no longer fun anymore…

Aside that I probably was jealous seeing her having boyfriend while I am not…probably one of many reasons, there was this one problem. The real problem was she could not stop talking about her darling boyfriend. I find myself not happy whenever I saw her running and waving her hands at me… Usually I could not wait to see her after classes so we can exchange stories. But after she found her soul mate (quoted exactly from her words), I suddenly could no longer stand being near her. And it turn out, I was not the only one. Whenever my friend started to share her most precious moment with her BF, I saw our other friends and class mates starting to exchange glances and false smile even smirked. And then one by one, we start to come up with excuses just to get the heck out of the boring conversation. We have tried to stir the conversation to another subject that everyone could relate to without success. Again, yeah few of us probably jealous at her but the other merely bored. One of them said, “Okay, we get it… You are happy… You just want to be around him… Spread the happy stories about him to the entire world… You are totally so happy you do not even realize about people around you…”

Come to think of it, I have to admit…that once in a while I also behave exactly like the above story. For example, if I am really into this tv series or hooked up on an actor…I would definitely can not stop talking about it or him. Every conversation I would try to lead it to my currently favorite subject. The intention of course so my friend would get intrigued then of course follow me on liking the movie or the actor. After that we could talk nothing else about it.

If you are into this new environment, or falling for someone, or attracted to a new activity…, or just love whatever you are doing there…then you have this feeling to let everyone around you to join your activity… Well, if you are in love with someone you will probably limit that enthusiasm only by sharing your happiness (obviously you did not want to share the one you like with anyone else…, right?) But if you get hooked on a place, a new activity, a tv show (reality show, tv series, documentary programs, etc) or an actor or more…feel so good to keep on talking about them right?

The problem is when our friend does not share our enthusiasm. Eventually all of us will be running out of ideas on whatever we want to talk about. As your friend want to talk nothing but her favorite activity and since you have no idea what that is and have reached up to the point where you are totally not interested …then what is to talk about anymore? You talked about your life but your friend does not find it fascinating. And while she was talking about her favorite activities you could only muster a polite smile or short response.

When we hooked up on something then sure we can share it to our friends. There is nothing more fun to do and talk something that we all like. But if they are not interest it, then please have mercy and just stop talking about it… Talk anything but that…


ONE OF SO MANY REASONS




Do you want to know why people never just blurted out at you about your stupid on going mistakes?

1. Because they are selfish enough to keep the relationship with you in a long term.
2. They are too coward to get the outburst from you right at the moment they told you about the mistake
3. The scare feeling that you may do something hurtful in return (this is probably because you are joining a killing squad or something bad...)
4. Worry that they do not know to tell you in the right way in order to avoid you getting offended
5. Silently pray in vain hoping that there will be a miracle that will open your eyes so you will realize your mistakes
6. Seeing that this relationship with you will be in a short term and thereofore feel no obligation to tell you about it
7. Enjoy it seeing that you constantly makes that mistakes and have high hope you will never ever be able to change it in the future
8. Can't wait for you to get into troubles for the mistakes you keep on making...

So, do you prefer no 1 - 5? Or the number 6 – 8?


EMOTIONALLY NUTS




I once asked my friend, why the story and dialogues on Indonesian soap operas are all err… annoying?
She then told me that someone has told her the necessity in the dialogue. The keyword is : EMOTION.
Audience does not need to see local soap operas have story lines like American TV series such as House, CSI, Brothers and Sisters, Desperate Housewives…up to Supernatural. No need logical stories, or witty dialogues… Just play with the emotion and you will get number one soap opera around the nation.

Well, I can not argue with that… Come to think of it… The so-called-keyword: Emotion does work to the audience…
Like for example:
The antagonist character is screaming on top of her lungs to the pain-searcher-protagonist character who keep on crying.
Emotion does being capture by the audience. Only there are differences.
The loving fans naturally feel moved by the hopeless situation by the useless heroine and feel anger to the antagonist.
Me? I feel headache by both of the characters and I can already imagine my hand grabbing them and break their neck just to stop the screaming and the crying. Emotion does pouring out of me…only in a different way.


The antagonist character is on the run from the police with her boyfriend. She got shot by the police on her leg. But still manage to run to the hospital. Then insist the doctor to perform surgery to move the bullet. Miraculously, the surgery went well and she asked her boyfriend to take her home immediately. Eventually the police already surrounded the house and she gallantly denied everything. When the police said that they have shot her, she show her leg and OF COURSE there was no wound whatsoever. To add more proofs that she was not the one who got shot, she even DANCE in front of the law enforcement.

Emotion? Well, what else do you expect?
The loving fans of course getting annoyed… Saying wow good things always happen to bad people… How can she escape just like that… In short, they can not wait to see bad thing happen to the bad person.
Me? Oh well… what can I say… I am totally impressed that by the second the surgery finished, the person already able to run and even dancing!

I do however want to give my salute to everyone that has created all those stories as they really do know how to capture the audience’s emotion. They really know how to make best production ever.

SALUTE TO THE EMOTION!


FAVORITE SPOT




If you go to the café to have a cup of coffee or hot chocolate, or whatever…you will probably have a favorite spot to sit, right? I mean, you did not go to that café once a year… You go there almost every week. Either with your friends or just

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