Living with cancer by David In Ireland (best books for 7th graders txt) 📖

can be boring waiting for up to a few hours for treatment, I can understand the frustration, but some people allow themselves to get very angry at the radiotherapists. These radiotherapists work all day long at a very high speed. They literally work on fast forward. They do everything in their power to get every patient treated as quickly as possible. They work as late as 10pm to make sure everyone is treated. They do all of this with little thanks. Like the nurses and doctors I have met in the last 6 months, they are angels. When I was in chemo, I noticed my finger nails change. Each session of chemo was followed by a white line appearing through the nail. After the fourth session of chemo I had 4 lines. I was told that this was due to the chemo reducing the thickness of new nail growth, so after each session the nail was getting thinner and thinner. Now these lines have moved up through the nail and they are nearly at the tip of the finger, they are splitting and cracking. The nail tip is now very weak and typing is starting to hurt. Some of my toe nails are starting to come away from the toe, but so far there has been no pain from them. Hair growth is good. It is strange starting to grow hair all over at one time. The hair on my head is as long as the hair on my fingers.

My balance is improving now that there are hairs growing in my ears again. I don't need to have tissues in every pocket now that I have nostril hair (uuuuhh) again. Due to the regrowth of eyelashes my eyes are no longer sore, I don't wake up with my eyes stuck shut. No more hats yahooooo!! It is the beginning of my freedom. This is the first physical step towards looking normal, the staring eyes will stare no more. I will not have to look at the pity in peoples eyes. Hair is not important, not in the slightest, but it helps us to feel like we fit in, in a physical sense. It is ‘the’ sign that cancer is in someone’s life. So not having hair is not important, it is the reason that we don’t have hair that is what sets us apart. Having a bald head is one thing, but lots of people shave off their hair because they want to. Although, how many people pluck out all of their eye lashes and then pluck out all of their eyebrow hairs? For me, it was a complete shock, I was geared up for loosing the hair on my head, but it never dawned on me that every single hair on my body would be gone.

Almost finished the radiotherapy I have two days left on radiotherapy. So after Tuesday I will be finished. Waaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhoooooooooooooooooooooooooo! It has been seven weeks since I began. It often feels like I know nothing else. What will I do when I am finished? I am not able to walk much now. My leg is badly burned and swelling more and more each day. I can sleep by closing my eyes at any stage during the day, but I keep fighting it. I was given 5mg of sevredol (morphine) every 4 hours and 10mg of MST (slow releasing morphine) every 12 hours. But as the pain increased I have been brought up to 10mg of sevredol every 2 hours and 30mg of MST every 12 hours. It has not stopped the pain, but it is taking the edge off it, enough to be able to walk about a bit. The pain comes from different places, there is the pain from the skin which looks like it has been very badly sunburnt, but strangly it is not that sore (probably due to the morphine). Then there is the pain in the muscle, this muscle was reduced in size at the second operation and it is burning, every movement hurts. The final pain is in the bone on my leg, which I am told is also burnt.

The good part is that when I do not move my leg and nothing is touching it, I can get quite comfortable. All along the doctors kept telling me that I would be in 'chronic pain' but as the weeks progressed I started to think I was going to get away with it. The past 2 weeks have been hard work. Getting into a car hurts. Sitting in a car ....hurst.... more. Walking is almost impossible. So the process of getting to the hospital is quite painful, then walking up to the radiotherapy unit, then sitting there for up to 2 hours, then off to the clinic for more waiting. But I do not mind any of it, the pain, the waiting, none of it bothers me in the slightest. The staff in St.Lukes are wonderful. Kind, caring and considerate. Passionate about their work. Diligent in everything that they do. With an unbelievably high work ethic. I do not know how to thank them for how they looked after me. 1 more radiotherapy session to go.....

During the weekend, the pain in my leg got stronger and stronger. Last night I woke up in agony and my body was shaking. The doctor thinks it is either an infection or my body was experiencing shock. I think it might be an infection as I am on morphine. This morning, I had to visit the nurse before getting radiotherapy, she was not happy with the look of my leg so she got the doctor. They agreed that I should continue with the radiotherapy as there are only two sessions left. So I went off for therapy and after that I had to get a new prescrition for more morphine. The nurse took a swab of my leg to check for infection and then I went for blood tests. Thankfully my wonderful, beautiful, caring wife drove me. I could not have managed it. The pain is so strong at times I get the feeling I should not be driving with my eyes tightly shut. As my morphine has been doubled again, I am feeling pretty sleepy, but they are working, at times I do not feel any pain, but usually there is pain but it is quite acceptable with the morphine mask. Over the weekend their effects were becoming less and less, but when I saw my leg today without the dressing I was a bit shocked. My incision from the operations, which had healed up nicely, has now split open. It has a horrible yellow discharge. The skin is burnt to a black colour, it is puffed up and raw. It was only when I saw it that I realised why the morphine did not seem to have any effect, it is getting worse every day even on the days that I am not being radiated. I was told today that it would keep getting worse even when I am finished treatment tomorrow, for up to a week or two. But does it really matter? No, I will still be happy to be finished. The pain might get worse and I might moan a bit for a few weeks, but then it will all start to improve. I was given some local anesthetics to take home, which I can use when I need to. Because the wound is open I do not have to inject it. I don't think I could handle injecting it myself. finished radiotherapy I have finally completed the radiotherapy. I have been in constant pain since it ended.

I am on 8 times the strength of morphine I was on last week. So I am sleeping pretty much 18 hours a day. When I am awake I am only seconds from sleeping. I can't keep my eyes open, but they never stay shut for long, I wake with a fright just a few seconds later. The pain is intense. Constant throbbing. I curl up in a ball and wait for the worst pain to pass. Walking is almost impossible. Any movement is painful, but walking brings every pain out at one time. The wound is too disgusting to mention. I would not want anyone to feel queezy. (ha ha).The wound is about 24cm x 17cm which is the surface area damaged, but what is most painful is under the skin, down through the muscles and into the bone. I have to take 2 salt baths a day. because my leg is burning I cannot take a hot bath, so it is quite unpleasant. sitting there frozen in a stinging salty bath. I am sore, but happy. I will be through the worst of this soon enough and then I can enjoy the healing process. Sunday, July 13, 2008 ........ almost fully recovered The past two weeks have been an amazing improvement each and every day. The pain reduced daily, my mobility increased daily. I am now able to walk around again. I get exhausted quickly, but that is just my body recovering. I cannot believe how well the wound has improved, every day I could see a difference in it. The skin eventually began to grow, slowly closing the open wound. The constant salt baths, new dressings, burn creams, more dressings, salt baths, on and on and on, but they made a big difference to the skin's recovery.

When the time came to give up the morphine my body took a bad reaction. I went into some strange world. My skin did not fit, my muscles would spasm, my body would shake. My mind racing. It was horrible and went on for nearly a week. I ended up on sedatives to calm my muscles and stop the shaking. I had two tests done to see if 'everything was clear' or more to the point, that the cancer was gone, I got the 'all clear' from one of them and I will have the other result in the next couple of days. I now feel like I am recovering. I now feel like I have reached the end of the treatments. The next step? I am not sure.

Some of the specialists I have seen suggested that I avoid going back to a stressful job. But working in sales is stressful, I can't change that. So do I start looking at a new career? I think that this might also be stressful.

I got the 'all clear' Well, the results have finally arrived. I have now received the 'all clear' for both of the tests done on me recently. So, as of last week, I am free of any tumours. I will have the same tests done again in 3 months. Have I reached the end of my journey? I have spent the 9 months living this cancer life. Everything has been about cancer. All of my treatments have been about cancer. I have been sick. I have felt like being sick. I have lost all of my hair and grown it back again (well almost). My skin has turned a few different shades, pale, yellow and grey. Grey was the worst because I looked like the living dead. I have been happy. I have been sad. I have had great laughter. I have had tears. I have been told I am strong, yet I have only ever felt weak. Have I reached the end of cancer? Or is it just the end of a chapter? Cancer is the most awful word in the English dictionary. When you are told you have cancer, a piece of you dies that second. Your future. We live our lives, not thinking, not letting ourselves think about our death. It will never happen to me. But it did happen to me, I have to think