Sweaters by Heaven Evette Creater (books to get back into reading txt) 📖

my eyes become a little watery but I fought them back immediately. “You just don’t come waltzing back in my fucking life thinking everything’s alright because it’s not!” I screamed.

 

She was quiet for a second and looked at me with a shocked expression. “Now wait a minute, you watch your damn tone with me!” she yelled. That kind of caught my attention, so I sat back in my bed.

 

Mr. Rodriguez just placed one of his hands on her arm.

 

“Now, you watch yourself missy, I am still your mother and you will respect me, do you understand?” she asked . I could tell she was pissed. I just looked at her and folded my arms.

 

“Secret, answer your mother.” Mr. Rodriguez warned while starring me down.

 

She got close and leaned her face closer to mines. “I asked you a question…do you understand?” she repeated.

 

“No, I do not…because you are not my mother…” I said coldly. Mr. Rodriguez looked at me in shock.

 

Tamar backed away a bit without taking her glare off of me. “…I don’t even remember what my mom looks like…you could be anybody.” I said firmly. “My mommy was pretty like you…not as pretty though. She shook and rocked herself a lot. She cried a lot too, she was always sad…” I said looking off into space.

 

It was quiet in the room. I looked at Tamar. She looked heartbroken and her eyes looked like they were going to become watery. The nurse came in and announced that visiting hours were over. We kept each others stares.

 

“You are not my mom...and visiting hours are over.” I said flatly wiping a fallen tear from my face. A single tear drooled down her face.

 

She went and got her coat and her suitcase off the chair, looked at me and walked out of the room.

 

“Tamar…” Mr. Rodriguez said as he tried to stop her but she closed the door on him. He turned around to face me. His face said he was very shocked.

 

“I am very disappointed in you.” he said sternly. “That was very uncalled for…that’s your own mother!”

 

“She’s not my mother!” I yelled.

 

“How can you say th---?” he tried saying.

 

“What do you care for? You’re not my dad! Get out!” I interrupted. He just looked at me. “Get out! Get the fuck out! Get out, get out! Visiting hours are over!” I screamed. I threw the TV remote at him and it hit him in the chest. I started to get hostile and the pulse machine thing got faster.

 

I got louder and angrier.

 

“Secret!” Mr. Rodriguez yelled trying to catch my attention. “Secret, calm down!” he yelled. I started going nuts. I got to my knees on my bed and was finding things to throw. “Secret calm down!” he kept yelling. Soon, a bunch of nurses came in and tried to hold me down. They finally did and one nurse gave me a shot in my arm.

 

“You bitch, that fucking hurts!” I screamed.

 

“Oh, you’ll be fine Honey.” She replied. I started to scream with tears streaming down my face. I finally calmed down a bit and just cried for a minute. One nurse tried to escort Mr. Rodriguez out of the room.

 

"What's wrong with her?" he asked concerned. 

 

She didn't answer him. She handed him his coat and tried pushing him out of the room. She finally got him into the hallway.

 

“What’s happening?” he asked alarmed.

 

“It's a reaction from the medicine we gave her earlier. She's just a bit delirious. Making her act wild that's all.

 

“What did they just inject her with?” he asked curiously.

 

“It’ll calm her down, have a nice evening.” She said with a smile as she shut the door in his face.

 

Miguel:

 

“…Ok, then.” I said to myself as I walked away.

 

I walked out of the hospital and saw Tamar sitting on one of the benches crying. I put my coat on and sat next to her. She dried her face but didn’t speak.

 

“You ok?” I asked her.

 

“I’m fine.” She sighed.

 

“Everything will be fine Tamar, sooner or later.” I reassured.

 

“I feel so bad.”

 

“Don’t.” I said softly.

 

“No, she’s right…I’m a terrible mother…I don’t deserve her back.” She said whimpering.

 

“Don’t say that, you’re a good mother. Or least your'e trying to be." I said outloud. She looked up at me. "Secret just doesn’t understand yet, she's just a baby…she will soon.” I said trying to release the awkward moment.

 

“Yea, I guess.” She said drying a tear that crept out of her eyes.

 

“How are we going to tell her?” I asked.

 

"Tell her what?"

 

"Well, that I'm her father."

 

 “I have no idea….maybe she’s better off not knowing.” She answered.

 

I looked at her. “I want her to know.” I said firmly.

 

She looked at me and looked away. “Tamar I’m serious….I want her to know.” I said.

 

“I know you are. I know you very well.” She said softly. It was quiet for a minute.

 

“Where do you live?” I asked. “Indiana.” She answered. “Damn.” I said shocked.

 

“My plan was to take Secret and leave. I didn’t expect all of this at all.” She explained. “Luckily I brought clothes. I had a feeling I was going to have to stay.”

 

“Where are you staying?” I asked.

 

“Well I was gonna stay at Daniel's house if I had to. But given our current situation, I don’t know. I can find myself a hotel or something, I’ll be fine.” She smiled. She got up and looked down at me. A cab had just pulled up in front of us.

 

“I’d better get going and find one before it gets too late, goodnight Miguel.” She smiled as she picked up her suitcase and purse. I watched her walk towards it before stopping her.

 

 “Tamar…” I called after her. She turned around to look at me.

 

“Yes?” I opened my mouth to say something and nothing came out.

 

“What?” she asked softly. There was dead silence. “Haha, Miguel I have to go.” She giggled as she walked away.

 

“Wait, Tamar please…” I said finally. She stopped and turned around.

 

“What is it?” she asked with a smile. Nothing came out.

 

“Miguel, stop playin.” She giggled. I stood up and walked towards her.

 

“…Stay with me.” I said softly. She just looked at me in confusion.

 

“Excuse me, what?” she asked.

 

“Stay with me Tamar…” I repeated.

 

“Oh…um no I couldn’t possib---.”

 

“I insist.” I interrupted. She just looked at me in disbelief.

 

“Miguel, that’s very sweet of you but I can’---.”

 

“Please…” I cut her off as I reached for her hand. “Stay with me.”

 

She looked at me for a few seconds in silence. “Oh.... Miguel, that’s very sweet of you but I just can’t.”

 

“Why not?” I asked.

 

“I just can’--.”

 

“Tamar, please…stay.” I interrupted while smiling. "You don't have to stay in a sleezy motel."

 

 She looked at me unsure of herself and then smiled. “Fine, but  just for tonight.”

 

“Two nights.” I smiled.

 

“One.” She said trying not to giggle.

 

“Three nights.” I suggested.

 

“No, just one.” She said smiling.

 

“Four nights.” I said giggling as I walked away from her and  signaled to the cab driver that we wouldn't be needing his services anymore.

 

“Fine, two nights.” She said laughing as she grabbed my arm to stop me.

 

I looked at her with admiration. The mother of my child...my daughter. I don't know why exactly, after everything she's put me through, I still have a soft spot for her.

 

  “…Until Secret gets out of the hospital.” I said firmly.

 

“Ok…until Secret gets out.” She finally said with a smile.

 

I smiled back at her and told her to follow me to my car. I helped her put her suitcase in the trunk. When we arrived at my house I helped her get her suitcase out of the car and went to unlock and open the front door. I went inside but Tamar continued to stand outside. She just stood there looking at my house.

 

“Um…are you…coming in?” I asked laughing a bit.

 

 “Oh, I um was just…just trying to recognize your house.” She said. 

 

“Oh…well um come in any time…I guess.” I said laughing.

 

She smiled sheepishly and quickly followed me in. I dropped the bags down and I took both of our coats and hung them up.

 

“You want something to drink?” I offered.

 

“No, thank you.” she smiled.

 

“Alright, well I’ll show you upstairs to your room.” I said with a smile. I grabbed her suitcase for her and she had her purse. We trotted upstairs until we reached the guestroom. I set the suitcase down on the floor.

 

“It’s lovely Miguel…thank you.” she smiled as she set her purse down on the stool. 

 

“You’re welcome…y…you want me to show you the rest of the house?” I asked courteously.

 

“Sure.” She said.

 

“Well next door is the bathroom…obviously.” I said opening it. She giggled. “Around this corner here is another bedroom. But I paint in there. And over here is my room.” I said pointing to the first room you can see when you reach the top of the stairs.

 

Tamar walked over to it. She stopped in the doorway and rested her head on the door frame. “It’s…big.” She laughed. I walked and stood next to her with my arms folded.

 

“Silk…you have taste.” She said referring to my bed set.

 

“Thanks, it's very soft…it relaxes me.” I said slightly smiling and looking at it.

 

 “I bet it does…you still have that temper of yours.” She said looking at me. I just looked down. It was quiet for about a minute.

 

“The window is beautiful…the view must be…amazing.” She said as she walked towards the circular window on the left side of my bed.

 

“Si…I love to watch the sun come up over the trees…it’s beautiful.” I said as I walked over with my hands behind my back.

 

“Should have known…coming from an artist.” She smiled. “You still do it?” she asked still looking out of the window.

 

“Yea…I have a studio. I’m there all the time.” I said.

 

“Can I see your studio one day?” she asked. 

 

“Sure…you and Secret sound the same when ask that question.” I smiled as I looked down.

 

“She’s seen it already?”

 

“Yea…she came to see me almost every day.” I smiled.

 

“I’m not surprised. Secret loves art…she always has, ever since she was little.” She said looking out of the window. “She was constantly making and drawing things. She drew things for me all the time. I still have one that she made me when she was about four or five…it’s my favorite.”

 

“…May I see it?” I asked curiously.

 

“Sure…” she smiled. “It’s in my bag, I’ll go get it.” She walked past me to go into the hall. I followed but stopped in my doorway.

 

“…Tamar…” I called after her. She stopped and turned around. “Are you…wearing perfume?” I asked.

 

“Yes…are you allergic?” she asked alarmed as she walked away.

 

 “No, it just smells familiar. I think someone I knew used to wear it.” I explained.

 

“Oh, it’s made from like rose water and something else. Almond oil I think. I like how it smells. I don’t know what it’s called, bottle doesn’t have a name on it and it was given to me without the box.” She said as she came back with a piece of notebook paper in her hand.

 

She handed it to me and as I unfolded the paper, it revealed a flower in the middle of it. It had five pink petals with a capital purple letter in each one. It spelled out “TAMAR”. The stem was blue with yellow leaves. There were green clouds floating above and they rained letters over it that spelled out “I love you.” The rest of it had red and orange hearts all over the background, with her name signed at the bottom.

 

“She has a wonderful imagination.” I said smiling as I examined it more. 

 

“Yea…two years ago, someone at the rehab center put something in the microwave that didn’t belong…and it exploded and caught fire. I was in the kitchen looking at this picture. I wasn’t in the room at the time and I left it on the table. I came back, and the kitchen was in flames. They evacuated the building but I ran back inside to get the picture. Fortunately, I got to it before the flames did. My therapist was kind of mad at me for that.”