My Lolita by Que Son (readict .txt) 📖

on the bed and think. What do i think about? I think about how to see D again. I need to see her one more time before i leave the city. Or two more times, or even three more times. I want her. I must think of a way to have her near me, with me. The beer makes me think hard and furious. Should i disguise myself and camp in front of her house and follow her to school and camp there too, then follow her home in the evening and camp there all night and do the same the next day and the next day? I don't like this idea, because there would still be a distance between us and i can't even talk to her. She hurts me bad with her rejection. Even though i know she has no choice but reject. She is disappointed big time and i understand why. But still, it is so hard to accept. She did not deceive me. I deceived her. I think she must be hurting also. There must be a way for us to be near each other. Then an idea pops into my head. Maybe we can go to Vung Tau together, but how do i deliver the request to her, how do i arrange for that? She will surely say no. I must find a way. Then i stop thinking and call up the front desk. The same woman answers the phone and i say I want some company for the nigh. Fifteen minutes later, a young woman walks into my room. Are you good? I ask. I am very good, you will see, you will not waste your money on me, she says with a smile as bright as the moon. That night i fuck with all my might and all i think about is D.

 

 

 

 

 

Eight

 

The morning comes and it looks like a nice day. The monsoon is taking a break. I send my companion for the night away with a kiss, and a lot of money.

 

I have heard of a part of the city where the goons are. I am going to enter that part of the city and recruit a pack of wolfs. I have a plan and need help from them. Money is no object. I am willing to spend down to the last of my dollars to carry this plan out. My love for D demands that i do this and i wish i will be successful and she will forgive me. She will understand why i do this: because my bleeding heart will die without her. I only want to have her near me for a short time, only a few days. Then i will be happy to say goodbye to her forever. I am even willing to die after a few days with her. But i cannot do it alone. I need strong arms to help bring her to me.

 

The area of the city that i am going into is called "Black Canal," where even cops are afraid to enter except when they come in in teams. And now a lone man walks in, looking like a scholar, a college professor, who is losing his way. When the motorbike driver dropped me off, he looked at me with a strange look in his eyes, as if to say, what business do you have to come into the belly of the beast like that?

 

The neighborhood is a mile-long stretch of huts and ad hoc structures of all sizes and shapes alongside a black water canal. The water is black, or almost black because the city's sewer dumps its wastes here. The air stinks of rotten meat and rotten everything. I walk along the bank of the canal. It is sunny and the air is getting hotter and hotter as the day progresses. And I start to sweat. I find a coffee shop under a big tree, the only shade after a half a mile walk. I enter, sit down, and scan the place: there is no one else but me and an old woman behind the counter. The woman looks at me. I look at her. Then she slowly moves out from behind the counter to where i sit and asks me what i want, with a voice as dense as the water of the canal. She has no teeth and is as old as the tree under which she lives. Beer, i tell her. And she says, i have beers but they are not cold. I can use ice, i say. No ice, either. Ok, hot beer, then.

 

I sit and look at the sunlit dusty road outside the shop and slowly drink my beer. The taste is bitter, but it's ok because all i want is the alcohol. A skinny dog trots by with its tongue hanging out. I wonder why that dog is still around: he should have been stew long ago. What miracle is protecting him? I have a pretty good idea of why i am in this hood. I am here to assemble a team of hoodlums who will help me secure D, the object of my desire. A middle-aged man with a beer belly like me cannot do it alone. I move slow, like a turtle, or maybe a little faster than a turtle. I am not fit. I need help. The old woman disappears into the back of the house. When I finish my beer, the woman comes back as if on cue and i signal to her for another beer.

 

Two men and a woman enter the shop and they sit at a table next to me. I wonder why they choose the table next to mine. They could have sit over there three tables away. Perhaps they are going to do something to me--rob me? One is a tall and skinny guy with shoulder-length hair who wears a sleeveless black t-shirt that exposes the tattoos of something like an eagle on his arm. The other guy is a short fat clown with skin as dark as the water of the canal, and he is sweating like a pig. The woman with them has a round and flat face like a peasant--the kind of face i like---and her skin is white and she paints her lips red. They glance at me. The old woman does not come to ask them what they want to drink. She lets them sit and they just sit. Then the fat guy stands up and comes over to my table, and helps himself to the chair and looks at me with a look that say i am going to kill you. Hi, i say. And he says, hi, can i help you? Can you help me? Do i look like i need help? I am only sitting here enjoying a beer on a hot day and who the fuck are you to approach me in a threatening manner and ask me if i want help? I do not answer him, but continue to drink my beer. Can i help you? He says again. Then i say, perhaps you can. You want that girl over there? He says, she can suck you dry for just 20 bucks. The woman looks at me and smiles. The guy may be right, she has a mouth that is so seductive. No thanks, i was sucked enough last night and there is nothing left, i say. So maybe you just want your dick sucked? He says. The guy seems desperate to make a buck. He, or they, could have robbed me right there and killed me and threw my body into the canal. Not that either, i say. So what the fuck do you want? You don't belong in this hood. Where are you from? You come here for something, heroine?

 

The tall skinny guy comes over and listens in. I will tell you what i want, i say, but you want some beers first? I wave the old woman over and order beers for them. The whore remains at her table and looks at the road. Where is your boss? I ask the fat guy, and he looks at the skinny guy who in turn looks at me and smiles.

 

-Look, i have a project and i need your help carry it out, i say.

-What kind of project, and why do you think we can do something for you? The skinny guy says, the smile has not left his face.

-You are goons, right? You are guys who don't have a regular job or regular income, and you rob, extort, steal, deal drugs, pimp, and beat up people for a living, right?

-Hmmm....

-Right? I insist.

-Right.

-That is why i am giving you a job, because i have a job to do, and i am sure you guys can help me do it because i cannot do it alone.

-What job? The skinny guy asks.

 

Now i have his full attention. The fat guy is listening with his two ears on full receptive mode. The whore still sits at the table and stares out into the space outside of the shop which gets brighter and brighter as the sun moves up across the sky. I shout to the old woman to bring us more beers, and she drags over a case and leaves it at our feet.

 

-Listen, i say, i want three goons.

-As many as you want, the skinny guy says.

-I want you to kidnap someone for me.

 

The skinny is silent for a few minutes then says:

 

-It can be done. Go on.

-It is a woman that i am crazy about, but she doesn't want me.

-Ha?

-That's right. Have you ever been in love with someone and get turned down and do you know how hurtful that is?

-Of course i know. I was crazy about that woman over there for a while many years ago--the skinny guy says and points to the whore--but now i don't feel anything about her anymore.

-But you have her, you own her, i say.

-Right.

-So you don't know how painful it is not to have the one you love with you, I say. -I don't.

-But i do, and i am hurting right now.

-Sorry about that.

-Don't feel sorry for me. Do something to take this pain away from my heart.

-What do you want us to do?

-I want you to pick up that woman and bring her to a hotel in Vung Tau. That's all.

-That sounds simple enough. But we have never kidnapped anyone before.

-So? Now is your chance to try.

-Ok, will try.

-How much do you want for the job? Of course i will pay for all expenses. Tools, transportation, ect .....

-Look, man, we have never done kidnapping so we don't have the rate to quote you. But we did do murder. And we charge 10,000 dollars to wack someone.

-I will pay you twice that amount.

-You are bullshiting me, ha?

 

The guy gave me a stern look. The fat guy grabs his boss's arm, as if to steady himself.

 

-No bull. Twenty thousands for the whole job. And i will put down half of that, the rest you will get when the job is finished, meaning i have my love with me. -Sounds good. When do we have the deposit?

-Tonight at seven at this place. I will be here with the money.

-Ok.

-Bring the punks who will do the job, and i will give you detailed instructions about what i want done.

-Better not bullshitting or i will find you and cut off your fucking dick.

-No bull.

 

I have the whole afternoon to kill before having to see the punks again. I leave the canal and I go to the cafe where i and D first met. I sit at the same table and i look transfixed at the chair she has sit on. I can see her face, her red shirt and the small breasts under it, and her slender fingers, and her pink lips that sucked on the ice cream spoon. I see again the expression on her face when she learns my age. And