A Sinless Betrayal by Cherie Benjamin (books to read for 12 year olds .TXT) 📖

liberate me from these bounds. I collapse into the chair that sits beneath the desk, my head slinging forwards into my ready hands.

My fingers comb through my curls in distress until they hit the messy bun that I wove sloppily while trying to get my hair out of my face so that I could properly treat my wound. They feel the pins that hold my hair there and suddenly I have an idea.

I tug a pin from my hair, holding it in front of my age. I narrow my eyes at it, glancing at the door handle, and then back at the pin. A light bulb seems to illuminate in my mind. I hurriedly tug the rest of the pins out of my hair, letting my mane of tightly wound corkscrew curls fall around my heart-shaped face.

I choose one trusty pin out of the pile on Abigor's desk and rush to the door with my candle. I shove it into the little keyhole and work it around in odd angles, pushing and turning at different intervals. Just when I start to think that my plan may not work, I hear a little 'click' and from my mouth emits a satisfied sound.

I turn the handle of the door, glancing around in the hallway for any maids, servants or lustful warriors lurking the darkened corridors. I see no one. I drop the pin on the floor and touch my hammering heart to make sure that I really want to go through with this. Abigor's warning was very clear that if he came back to find me gone, I would be severely punished.

Just down the hallway, I hear a loud cry. It is a woman's cry, and she sounds like she's in pain. My ears pick up the noise and instantly I am intrigued. Why does she scream so? Is she being raped?

I shut Abigor's door behind me, holding up the candle to see around me before tiptoeing down the hallway as quietly as humanly possible. As I walk the corridors, my nightgown dragging upon the dirty floors, the screams get louder with the echoes bouncing exuberantly off of the stone walls.

As I walk, I notice that this hallway must be off limits. There are no windows, except for a small, round hole that is very much so out of anyone's reach. There are not many rooms, but there are many closed doors, creating an even darker hallway, the only light being from the window high above.

It casts a beam of pale moonlight upon me in the darkness. The cries get louder as I near a slightly ajar door. With my curiosity nearly bubbling over, I use two gentle fingers to push open the door and look inside.

It's also dark, the only light being a dim fire crackling in the corner. I can't see the two people on the bed, but I can guess what they're doing. The woman's cries were ones of pleasure and not pain. Silky white legs tangle in longer, copper-toned legs.

I can see the shadow on the wall when he thrusts into her, grabbing fistfuls of her long hair and yanking her head back. "You want me?" The question is almost inaudible due to its gruffness.

The breathy answer sounds a moment later. "Oh yes, I want you. Fuck me harder, please!"

I hear him slamming into her at a frenzied pace. Her mewls and cries of pleasure echo throughout the hallway. "Oh, Gods…" I hear the man say. He pushes her down harder, slapping her face.

"Oh do it again," the woman cries out. "How I love the pain!" So he does it again, causing her head to whip to one side. He grabs her legs and wraps them around his waist to get closer to her. He pounds into her, dragging fire through every single one of her veins.

Suddenly the man slows his pace and tugs the woman upwards so that she's sitting in his lap with his chest against her back. His long black hair spills down his back as he unloads himself into her body. And then something happens that I do not expect. "Oh my king," she whimpers. "You are powerful, all mighty."

My eyes widen and I weakly refrain from gasping once I saw that the man that was with the harem girl was none other than Abigor. My eyes are wet with unshed tears. I don't know why I want to cry. He was never mine.

He pushes her off of him. The woman, I now recognize as Athenodora. He makes his way off of the bed to get his breechcloth. I quickly run down the corridor with my candle in hand, desperate to get out of sight. I blow out the candle's light as I rush into a corner so that he doesn't see me.

Just when I think I'm done for, he strides right past our room and down the hallway. He probably wishes to see Snow Lion. I take the opportunity to dart back to the room.

0o0o0o0o

Another hour later, I find myself still awake and just staring blankly at a wall when Abigor comes in. I'm beyond past the point of being upset, and now I'm frankly irked by the fact that when I rejected him, he used Athenodora to be his punching bag. Not that I wanted to be his punching bag, either.

"How do you feel?" I ask through gritted teeth. He just stands there at the door, staring into the fire. "Did you get your fix from some other woman?"

He still says nothing. That bothers me more than him retorting something mean right back at me. His face is passive and I can't read a single emotion off of it. His fists clench and unclench at his side.

I frown, looking down at my hands briefly before snapping my eyes back up to his. "Well, say something—"

"Mysister'sdead." The words come out in a jumble.

"What?" I cock my head to the side in confusion. I'm almost afraid that I heard something that I didn't want to hear.

He takes a deep breath before repeating it slower this time. "My sister's…dead." I did.

I stand up from my chair immediately. My mouth hangs slack and my arms are stretched at my sides. "Abigor, I…"

He holds up his hand. "Don't," he hisses maliciously at me. "I don't want your pity. Just leave me alone." Then he strides over to his desk and sits down at it, unlocking a large silver box and dropping a pretty necklace into it. It's an orange topaz necklace, one that I recognize that Snow Lion had had on when I first spoke to her. There were three others of the same necklace in the box.

Then he hands me a new necklace, gesturing for me to put it on. Not knowing what to do, I oblige and slip the topaz necklace over my head. Shaking hands grab the box and dump out all of the necklaces across the table.

"When I was four, my father raided a jeweller's bazaar out on the countryside and brought back these necklaces," he whispers. "There were five necklaces. I kept one and gave the other four to my sisters, White Fawn and mother. It was perfect for them because the orange topaz looked like fire…and the women of my family were all forged of fire and strength."

I look down at my necklace. It is beautiful, a golden swirl of metal keeping the beautiful translucent jewel in place. I look back at him. He's still sifting through the necklaces.

He sighs. "Over the years, I've gradually gotten them returned. First Gentle Raven's…then my mother's and White Fawn's, and now Snow Lion's. I thought foolishly that a part of their souls would be kept in the topaz even after they left the tangible world, that I could keep them with me still." He buries his head in his hands. "I lose everyone that I love."

I still clutch the little jewel around my neck like it is my lifeline. Tears sparkle in my eyes. "I'm so sorry," I whisper. "If you want to cry, I'll…"

He whips around with fire in his eyes. "You want me to cry. You asked me that same question earlier, even when my sister was alive. Do you want me to feel more pain than I already have?"

I jump a little at his tone of voice. I breathe a sigh. "Sometimes it's best to let it all go."

His face is twisted in agony. "What would you know about losing someone?" he murmurs accusingly.

I gasp in shock at his words. "My whole family's dead thanks to your men," I hiss at him. "I know everything there is to know about losing people that are close to you!"

And then my own tears come, pouring down my cheeks when I least expect it. I do not move to cover them in shame or look away. Instead, my brown eyes lock with his steely black ones.

He embraces me in his arms, burying his nose in my neck. He inhales my scent deep through his nostrils and tries to gather his thoughts, but he does not cry. For some odd reason, Abigor still is adamant about keeping his emotion concealed beneath his thick skin.

He shakes with his sadness. I reach down to wrap him in my arms and pull him close. "Never leave me," he mumbles. "You must promise to never leave me."

My voice is shaky from crying and falters a little. "I…I promise. Know that I w-will never l-leave you."

He picks me up into his arms and goes to the bed and lays me down beside him. My face is on his breast and his chin rests on my head while he tries to gather his thoughts. "Why does it feel so empty? Can you answer me that, my tigress?" he murmurs softly.

"When you lose someone very close to you, it can be very hard to recover," I tell him.

"Menene zai cika komai na sarari, to ku?" he asks me quietly. (What will fill my empty space, then?)

I look up at him slowly and lick my lips. He looks down at me, tucking his chin a little. "Zan idan ka so shi." (I will if you wish it.)

His hand curls around my neck and touches the jewel resting there. "Kada a kai wannan kashe...ba har sai mutuwa ta sassa da mu." (Never take this off…not until death parts us.)

I nod my head slowly. "Okay. I…how do you say promise in your language?"

"Alkawari."

"Okay. Na yi alkawari." (I promise.)

He buries his face in my neck. "I am so sorry about earlier. It was a rash decision. The whore meant nothing to me, I just needed…something. I'm glad you refused me."

I find myself smiling instantly. Why was I ever mad at him for that again? I've never been so forgiving before, and the idea of it is so foreign that it shakes me. "Think nothing of it. You were hurting, that's all."

He kisses my cheek before he gives a sigh. "You must promise me just one more thing," he whispers to me, brushing a wisp of my curly brown hair out of my eyes.

I nod my head in return. "Anything you wish."

"This emptiness…" he murmurs, his voice contemplating. "I never want to feel it again."

I breathe against his chest, wiping my eyes with the corner of his finger. "Then you never shall."

0o0o0o0o

I sit still the next morning as he lathers blue and white paintings onto my skin. Blue is the colour for peace and the white is the colour for mourning and wishing the deceased off to the afterlife. I stand, wearing my white silks and sapphire jewels. The topaz still remains around my neck. I have made a promise to never take it off, and I plan to keep my promise intact.

He leads me out the door, beckoning me to follow him. Today is the day of the funeral. Abigor has not said one word to me all morning, and I don't pressure him. I know how hard this must be. We walk down the hallway and to