Lust And Revenge by Reginah Shadreck (book reader for pc .TXT) 📖

Giovanni's POV

"I still blame myself,I feel I'll never be able to move on,it was a mistake from the very beginning, even though I was cruel to her I knew from the first time I saw her I was going to love her",I say as I lay on the couch in my therapist's office.

" That is why you used her love from her brothers against her ? You knew she wanted nothing more than for them to be happy,so you filled in the position if a father figure they needed",she says.

Did I ? Hearing how manipulative I've been makes me hate myself more. I remember that day everyday,I remember how helpless I felt when I say her stand there looking at me ,I wanted to help her but I could do was stand there and watch stopping myself from losing concienceness,the cops failed to defuse the bomb and they left the vessel I wouldn't have if I knew that she was still on it . Enzo had informed everyone that he had found her but only he and the babies with Flavio covering them made it out ,it was too late to go back , the police wouldn't let us.

" Isn't it?",she asks again.

"Yes",

After my session I drive to the cemetery,the guard there greets me as usual because I'm a regular here,the first week when Nithia died,I spent many drunk nights here playing Russian roulette alone wishing to fill my head with a bullet so I can be buried next to her,but I doubt if I'd make it to heaven.

I lost courage when I thought of my kids ,who were going to take care of them. I selfishly left the world because I couldn't face my guilt.

I take out my bottle of whiskey and sit next to her , a new bouquet of roses is placed there and I know who left them, he always comes.

I'm startled awake by someone shaking me "you can't keep doing this Giovanni! I can't look after you and your kids at the same time, pull yourself together brother! Do you want her to hate you even more ,get your ass up and step up as a father!", He says, helping me up from the ground.

" Leave me alone,I deserve to grieve however I want!",I drunkenly say.

" Look at you,where is the Giovanni I know!",

"Just shut up and leave me alone",

" I can't and I won't,you kids need you,Tesoro has a fever it wouldn't go down so Flavio took her to the hospital",he says and I'm finally snapped out of my willowy state.

I check my phone and see texts and missed calls from Lucas , Flavio and Enzo.

I begin walking to the car as Enzo picks up after me , I'm not even wearing my shoes.

We stop by the company and I take a shower in my office and Enzo makes me something. To sober me up,I don't want the children to see me like this.

"Daddy!", Saint runs into my arms as soon as he sees me.

"Is my sister going to be okay?"he asked and I smiled and ruffled his hair.

" Yes she will be okay",I say and carry him.

I enter the room and see Tesero sleeping in the bed with her favorite blanket, Flavio is seated in a chair and is working on his laptop,he recently graduated and is working with me at the company.

"How is she doing?",.

"The doctor said she was going to be fine and if her fever went down we'll be out of here tomorrow morning",he says and continues what he was doing.

"Daddy",Tesoro who just awoke cries with her hands in the air for me to pick her up.

"Hey princess",I coo and hug her, giving her a kiss on the forehead. The twins look so much like her ,this is the repentance Mercelo talked about, I'm punished to face my guilt everyday for the rest of my life.

"Everything will be fine and we'll get some ice cream when you feel better okay?",

" Can I have some too?"Saint asks as he gets in bed with his sister,the two are inseparable . "Yes you can have some too if you take care of your sister",I say.

" I don't want ice cream",my daughter says and pouts.

" What do you want, sweetie? Daddy will get you anything you want",

" I want a mommy",she says,and I feel like I've been struck by lightning,I never speak to them about their mother I leave everything to Flavio to handle.

I look at him and the look he gives me tells me he is going to step in.

"Our mommy is in heaven", Saint tells his sister.

"But Sophie got a new mommy even when she still has another one",she says.

" You mommy is like treasure,she can not be replaced but she is always here with you",I say and point at her heart,she doesn't seem satisfied with the answer but settles for it anyway maybe it's because she is tired.

"Can I see her one more time",she yawn s and says.

So I take out my phone and show it to her and Saint.

"She is beautiful,"she says.

"Was", Saint corrects her , but she adorably rolls her eyes and glares at him, making me smile.

"She has eyes like uncle Lucas and the uncle that sleeps and refuses to wake up".

She means Mason, he has been in a coma for five years now and doesn't show any signs of waking up. After putting the twins to bed I walk out of the room and walk into the elevator heading to the floor on which Mason is.

And I find Lucas there speaking to Mason's doctor and they seem to be in an argument.

"How can you even say that, we're not taking him off life support!",he says, grabbing the man by the collar.

" Hey! That's enough Lucas", I get him off the doctor."what's wrong? "

"I suggested taking Mason off life support, because he doesn't show any signs of waking up and  has little brain activity",the doctor says and Lucas looks like he is about to rip his head off.

"Lucas he is just giving his professional opinion",

"What! Are you going to let him let Mason die?!",he yells.