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/> "when do you go home?"
"Two weeks."
we where heading back to the book store cause grandma was going to pick me up.
"so can i see you tomorrow?"
"yeah, here?"
My grandma pulled up.
"Ebony!"
"i'm saying goodbye Coltan."
"are you hungry Coltan?" Grandma called.
"Oh god, say no."
"yeah a little."
"get in i'll make you something to eat."
he smiled and opened the door for me.
i did not need him getting to know my family.
i got into the car.
"So how old are you Coltan?"
"19."
"Do you need to call your parents?"
"i'll text them."
after we ate, Coltan had his friend pick him up.
"Grandma i'm going out side." i said the next morning.
"do you want the blanket?"
"no thanks."
i set up my lap top and pushed play.
"But you didn't have to cut me off, make it like in never happened and that we where nothing, have your friends collect your records and change your number."
"you can sing."
"Ohmygod!"
"I'm sorry." Coltan said, taking me into his arms.
"uh wanna sit?" i asked.
"sure."
i layed out a blanket.
"oh sorry." i said, trying to shut off my lap top.
"leave it." he said, as he listened to terrible things.
i layed on my back, and watched him listen to it.
"the girl of my dreams the most beautiful woman that i'd ever seen." he said, looking over at me.
i laughed, and covered my face.
He had a really good voice.
he uncovered my face and held onto my hand.
i watched him as he sang along, looking at the screen.
he got up on his knees and pulled up his pants. he bent down and kissed me.
"you are the greatest thing that ever happened to me."
"it's were."
"your still here." he said, bending to kiss me again.
my stomach was in Knots as my hand went to the back of his head.
"i warned you." i whispered.
"will you catch me?" he whispered.
i swallowed. Take a chance.
"yes."
he smiled and kissed me again.
"no." i said, sitting up.
"what's wrong?" he asked.
"we can't do this i'm leaving and i'm not going to do that to you."
"i don't care."
"but i do."
we where quiet.
"you said you'd catch me." he whispered.
"i did. long enough for me to help you back up."
"guess i scraped my knees." he said.
i closed my eyes.
Coltan pressed his lips to mine.
he held on to my jaw.
"i can live without you, but but without you i'll be miserable At Best." he whispered.
"don't cry." he said, wiping my face.
"i don't want to let you go." i said.
"then don't let me go."
"what if you get hurt?"
"then at least i'll have the good times to remind me why i begged to stay."
"come here."
i sat up on my knees and he hugged me.
i held on to him not wanting to let go. who would of thought that me i would fall for someone. i was so careful, but i guess he just snuck in when i wasn't looking.
"can you do something for me?" i whispered into his neck.
"anything."
"Catch me."
"promise."
"i feel like a dork." i said lying down on the blanket.
"why?" he asked, picking up my head and putting it on his lap.
"cause you saw me cry."
"yeah, but i know you care."
"why didn't you cry?"
"i was gonna save that for the car."
"why?"
"i dunno." he said, picking up a strand of my hair.
"cause you didn't want me to see you cry?"
"yeah."
"see?"
he bent down and kissed my forehead.
"what do you want to say?"
how did he already know me.
"what happens when i gotta go home?" i asked, in a small voice.
"let's not think about that, now."
"so what do we do?"
"how about i take you on a real first date?"
" if you want."
"cool, so you'll have to be ready by nine."
"in the morning?!"
"yeah," he laughed.
"where are we going?" i asked, after we where in the car for awhile.
"look."
"no." i said, looking over at him. "this costs way to much."
"Nah, your worth it." he said, pulling into the parking lot of knots berry farm.
"i didn't take you for a dare devil." he said, putting his jacket on me.
"why?"
"cause you seem so careful."
"yeah, that's why i let loose with roller coasters."
we walked to the car.
"ready for the next part?"
"the next part?"
"yeah, dinner."
" no, you've payed for too much."
"let me do this."
"i'm not dressed for dinner."
"okay, then we'll go out for dinner tomorrow."
"deal."
he opened the car door.
"who's car is this?" i asked.
"one of my friends."
he drove us too my grandmas.
"wait, i'll walk you up."
he ran to my side, and opened my door.
"your too sweet."
"only the best for you."
we kissed goodbye, and i went strait to bed.
the next night i got ready.
"you look... Beautiful."
"thanks."
"what's wrong."
"no ones ever said that before."
"well their loss, come on."
"okay wait."
i took off my heels.
"there."
"your not going to walk bare foot."
"my feet hurt."
he took my shoes and took off his.
"Give me your foot."
"really?"
he took my foot and put his shoes on my feet.
"why are you smiling?" he asked, smiling too.
"cause your sweet, to me."
he smiled shyly.
"i had fun."
"i'm glad me too." he said, taking my hand.
that night i talked with Mat and he and Jade weren't doing so well. my heart went out to him.
*********
i put my last bag in the car, and shut the trunk.
"ready?" grandpa asked.
"yeah." i breathed out.
i took one more look around.
"Wait!" Coltan yelled running to my side.
"you didn't think you'd get off free did you?"
he pulled me into a hug.
"come with me. meet my family."
"are you sure?"
"your apart of my life, they need to know who you are."
everyone came out of the house.
"Daren!" i yelled, pulling him into a hug. i hugged everyone else and took Coltan's hand.
"guys, this is Coltan. My ex-boyfriend."
the words stung my throat and he squeezed my hand.
"it's nice to meet you all." he said, Shaking my mom's hand.
"why'd you break up?" Jewls asked.
"cause, we're to far apart, so we broke it off." i said.
"we have to go." grandma called.
Coltan turned to leave.
"wait."
"yeah?" he asked.
i could tell he was trying not to cry.
i swallowed.
"i want to hear you say you love me one more time." i said.
he took my face and smiled, weakly.
"i love you Ebony." he kissed my forehead.
"i love you Coltan."
he kissed my forehead one last time and got into the car.
he waved goodbye, and he was gone.
i turned back to my family.
everyone was Crying but Jewls and me. she got my strong trait.
"i'm fine guys." i said, rubbing Daren's arm.
i blew out some air.
"i'll just be awhile."
i went to my room and cried.
i tried to think about the good times but the pain of not having him by my side was to powerful.
i clutched the necklace he got me and cried myself to sleep.
"you need to eat." my mom said, the next morning.
"i'm not hungry."
"Ebony-"
"i'd like to be alone."
she kissed my forehead, and i gritted my teeth.
i hated when she tried to comfort me.
i pulled the covers up to my chin.
i woke up to someone stroking my hair.
i sat up and pulled away from her.
"who let you in here."
"your mom, she said your hurting."
"i don't need you, you need too worry about your girls."
"what about a i'm glad your outta jail?"
"cause i'm not to tell you the truth."
"Ebony-"
"you need to leave Beth."
"I'm here if you-"
"leave Damn it, we are no longer friends."
she got up and left.
i touched my necklace, and took in a shaky breath. it's going to get better, it has too. my mom never mind, she never healed. what if i never heal? what if i always hurt this bad?
See i knew i shouldn't of gotten close to him.
i layed on my back.
if i just said no, i could of saved myself a heart ache. and what happened to not putting everything i had into my first relationship? did i learn nothing from mom? god i'm such a dope. i dug the heels of my hands into my eyes.
when i opened y eyes i saw spots.
"come outside."
"no."
"Now Damn it!" Emma said, pulling on my arm.
"why?"
she pulled me outside and turned me around.
"Emma."
she grabbed my shoulders and made me turn.
"now look up, Ebony."
i looked up.
"Coltan!"
a smile came to his face as i ran to him.
he caught me in a hug.
"what are you doing here?" i asked pulling back.
"i can live with out you."
he gave me a dozen Roses.
i hugged him.
"i love you, Coltan."
"whoa did Ebony just say she liked a boy?" Beth asked.
"what are you doing here? mom i thought you where done."
"She needs us."
"no she needs mental help, but you don't see it."
"Ebony-"
"Mom-"
Coltan grabbed my wrist and kissed me hard, making my hands comb through his hair.
"what happened to Keeping calm?" he asked, forehead pressed to mine.
i laughed.
"How long are you staying?"
"as long as you here."
"wait."
"Hey i'm Beth."
"someone who you don't want to know Coltan, you gotta leave.
"but i just got here."
"i'll go with you."
"what's wrong Ebony, Scared i'll chase him away?"
"my fist tightened.
"keep walking, listen to my voice." Coltan Whispered.
he opened the door, and i got in.
"you wanna talk?"
"not now." i said, rubbing my palms up and down my legs.
"we pulled up to a little blue house.
"who live here?"
"i do come on."
"were's the bathroom?"
he pointed to the door.
i closed the door sat on the toilet and cried.
I cried for Mat, Coltan, Jade, my mom, and even cause i missed my dad, but most of all life can really do terrible things and right not i just don't f-ing understand. the sobs shook my shoulders. the door opened. this time i didn't try to stop or tell him to go away.
i bent over and began to cry harder. maybe Coltan was right. you hold things into long and you break down. Coltan bent down on his knees and rubbed my back, while kissing my head.
i looked up at him.
" I just don't get it." i sobbed.
"what?"
"everything."
"i know what's going on."
he picked me up and layed me on the feather bed. he covered me with a blanket and held me close.
"let it out. you have too."
of course this only made me cry harder.
"you okay?"
i nodded.
he held me.
"i have to get up." i said.
"why?"
"cause i'll get depressed if i lay in bed when i'm sad."
we stood.
"can i ask you something?" he asked, when we got out or bed.
"sure."
i turned back to him.
he was on one knee holding up a ring.
"i'm gonna make you chance you mind. you know i love you will you marry me Ebony, in a couple years?" he added the last part in a rush.
i felt
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