When She's Healing. by Chalen D. (epub ebook reader .TXT) 📖

asked.
"i found a reason, a meaning. i thought to myself, what would they think if they knew i hurt myself. i promised someone that i would try to stop, and after i tried to kill myself they begged me not to do it again."
"why'd you try to kill yourself?"
"i guess the pain got the better of me and just pulled me in."
"Would you do it again?"
i looked up at the person who asked.
"No. i'm better than that. i deserve to be alive, and so do you. i want you guys to know i care about each and everyone of you."
"how? you don't even know us."
"Well... i guess it's cause i have so much love, and don't know what to do with it. cause, i want to believe that you guys can fight this."
everyone was quiet.
"i want to fight it."
i looked up.
kids started agreeing.
everyone stared clapping.
i looked down and bit my lip.
why am i letting fear run me?
they talked a little more and Eli drove me home.
"Thanks for the ride." i pushed open the door.
"I love you," he said softly.
"i love you Eli."
i turned and kissed him.
once inside i went right to bed. Lee was gone with work.
the next morning i fought to wake up. something bad was gonna happen and i knew it.
i called Jake and Beth, they where fine.
"Yeah i'm fine but you might want to check on Blake. i can't get to him, no one's heard from him over the weekend."
i hung up the phone and ran to Blake's house.
the car's in the drive way where gone. i knocked on the door but no one answered.
i tried the door.
i pushed it open.
"Blake?" i whispered.
a piano started to play. i followed the noise, and saw Blake playing a sad song.
"Blake."
i felt tears falling down my face, as my eyes stayed glued to the gun in his hand.
"Go away, Scarlett." his voice was broken.
his back was to me.
"Blake, talk to me." i begged.
"Leave, i don't want you to see this."
"Then don't do it, please. I love you."
"I love you, too, a lot. that's why you need to leave."
he spun around.
his face was tear streaked.
"I lied to you Scarlett. this time, i wont be able to be saved. it'll be quick. you Believed me so easily. i thank you for believing in me."
"Blake!" i screamed as he raised the gun to his head.
he looked up at me with haunted eyes.
"Goodbye Scarlett. i love you."
"Blake, stop!" i sobbed.
he came to me.
"Don't cry, i'm gonna be okay and so are you."
"No, no i'm not. please don't leave me your my world." my voice was thick as fear strangled me.
he smiled and touched my face. i leaned into his hand.
he kissed my forehead slowly.
"Your gonna be fine." He whispered.
"Don't. Blake."
i swallowed my pain.
"I need you."
"What?" his voice was filled with pain.
"i need you, i wont be anything with out you. please."
the relief that hit me when he gave me the gun would last for my entire life.
i took the clip out, tossed the gun on the sofa, and pulled Blake into my arms as he sobbed.
to shocked to say anything i clutched him to me as if i was afraid of losing everything i had ever loved at once.
we layed on the living room floor, the top of our heads pressed together.
"What happened?"
"I don't know, the lonely just pulled me under again."
"Maybe we should hang out more, if we do you wont have time to be so lonely."
"You sure are a work of art Scarlett, i guess i just felt..." he sighed.
"Broken." i finished for him.
"Yeah." he put his hands by his ears, and i grabbed onto them.
for awhile we were still.
it was at that moment i realized that life's hardships where far from over.

Imprint

Publication Date: 08-10-2012

All Rights Reserved

Dedication:
for peppanne who wanted me to write more. you guys keep me going. Much love.XD