When her pain is consuming by Chalen D. (best color ebook reader txt) 📖

smile. "This is Me so take it if you can."

He took my hand. "I'm trying."

"You shouldn’t have to try. You should be able to just do it."

"What are you saying?"

"This is me setting you free."

He kissed my hand. "We just need a break."

I stared at Him.

"I can handle it."

The nurse checked The monitors on the side of My bed.

"She needs to rest now young Man." She said.

Eli kissed My forehead and left. The nurse shot something into My I.V and soon it was hard to fight my sleep.

****

"Are you sure? You don't have to go."

"I'm fine, and I want to." I held my hand out.

"Are you positive?" Lee asked.

"Yes." I said, shaking my hand.

"Fine." He sighed, and plopped my keys into My hand.

"Be safe please."

"Lee." I looked at Him. "It's high school, and You’re asking Me to be safe? Please." I snorted.

"You know what I mean Scar!" He called as I jogged down the front steps.

"Yeah, I know!" I called, jogging to my car.

It was Monday morning, and I got to come home Friday at Noon. Ever since then, I've been on suicide watch. I really didn't mind it, cause Me and Lee where pretty close now. When I went to school my friends where, in different groups. My eye brows pulled together and I walked to class. In first period they sat in different spaces in the room. What happened while I was gone? I note flew onto my desk. I opened it.

'Are you happy now? None of us are friends anymore, cause we had different views about what you did to yourself'

I looked back. Five seats behind Me, Cassie shrugged a shoulder, sunk low in her seat, and put a book in front of her face. I crumpled the note and Let My head fall onto my arms. At lunch I Came to a stop. "Whatever Cassie!" A girl yelled. "Why don't you just go back to your group of cutters, and depressed outcasts?"

The girl pushed Cassie, making her bag fall to the floor. Cassie reached down to pick it up.

"Hey!" I yelled, making them Look. I walked over. "We're beautiful outcasts. Get it right Bitch." I pulled back and hit the girl.

She fell to the floor in a crumpled Heap.

"Hey!" A girl yelled, walking over. As Soon as She walked by the wall, a foot came out and she fell. The foot disappeared and then kicked the girl in the ribs.

"Anyone up for a good rib cage kicking?" Beth called out rounding the corner, with a big grin.

The girl got to her hands and knees.

"Down bitch down!" Beth said kicking the girl twice.

"Hey!" A guy said walking over.

"I know you’re not going to hit a girl." Blake said, standing in front of Us.

The guy was huge, and With Blake’s arm still in a cast, he didn't stand a chance.

"Sticking up for the freaks Keller?" The guy asked Blake.

"Thery're not freaks!" Blake punched Him.

The guy tackled Blake to the floor.

"Come on Little Fag!" The guy laughed.

Like always Eli came out of nowhere and grabbed the guy by His jacket, and Slammed Him against the wall Beth was hiding behind.

"Come on now Buddy, don't you know it's messed up to call someone a Fag?" With that Eli head butted him, and the guy fell to the floor.

Eli kicked Him twice. Once they were all down we just stared at each other. Even though we weren't friends We still came together to protect one another. Me for Cassie, Beth for Me, Blake for Beth, and Eli for Blake. The girl I hit coughed and began to sit up.

"Not today." Cassie said, kicking the girl in the ribs making her fall.

"To My office now!" The Principal said. One by one we each picked up our bags and walked to the office one after the other.

"Never in My fifteen years have I seen this!" Mr. Benner said.

 

"Well There's a first for everything Right?" I offered, trying to lighten the mood.

My friends tried to not laugh, and Mr. Benner hit the desk with a ruler.

"Your all suspended for three days and you are to spend the rest of the lunch in detention, am I clear, or do I have to call someone to bring you there?" We all stood up and left the room. We all walked quietly to the detention room. Everyone took a seat in different places. I sat on the table next to the window that over looked the Semi empty table.

"We would all still be friends if it wasn't for Scarlett." Cassie said.

"Me?" I demanded flinging my legs over the table. "After I stick up for you, you really say that?"

"Well it's true." Beth said.

"Well how about since my business is out in the open we air some of yours?" I offered.

"Scarlett, don't. Please!" Beth said.

"Oh I'm sorry Beth!" I told her, "But you might need help because you’re a cutter now!"

Everyone looked at her.

"Oh you didn't know that?" I asked. "And why did That Guy call Blake a Fag?"

"That's enough Scarlett!" Eli yelled.

"Why? You know my business. Everyone might as well know that, Beth Cuts, Cassie's been starving herself for a week and a half, and Blake's-"

"Stop it!" Eli yelled. "These are your friends damn it!"

"Well they didn't have any problems with nagging me, with My issues now did they? I don't fucking think so!"

"Why are you so heartless right now?" Cassie asked.

"Life Baby Cheeks. Life did this to Me."

"No Scarlett." Blake shook His head sadly. "You LET life do this to you."

We all sat quiet. I flung my legs back onto the table and leaned against the wall.

"So this is where we come to a stop. Everything we’ve ever been through, Everything We've ever done to help keep one another alive?" Beth said confused.

"I guess so." Cassie said.

"Yep." Blake said.

"Tragic really."

"How So Scarlett?" Eli asked.

"We fought so hard for one another." I turned my head to look at them all. "To stop now is pathetic."

"Yeah, but I don't think we’ll ever learn to trust each other again." Beth said.

"Yeah." Cassie said.

"So that's it?" I asked.

"We go our separate ways." Eli muttered, looking at everyone.

The bell rang and I jumped off my table, and grabbed my bag.

"Whelp, it was a blast while it lasted." I pushed open the door, and ditched my last class. Lee wasn't at the house when I pulled up. I went to my room, and put my iPod in the speakers, and filled the tub. I stripped down and got in. After six songs I got up and went down stairs. I got a bowl of ice cream, and sat in front of the blazing fire, like I used to do With Blake.

"Your home early." Lee said, tossing His keys on the table.

The sound echoed through the house.

"Yeah."

"You okay?

" "Yeah."

"Are you sure?" "

Yeah."

"Okay." He said slowly, not believing me.

"I have to get to the Center, and I want you to come with me."

"Okay." I stood up and headed to the kitchen. "I don't have anything else to do."

When Lee opened a door and waved me forward. I took in the faces of my old friends. I tried to leave but Lee blocked the door.

"The five of you are friends. You are going to be locked in here until every secret you’re keeping Is Spilled.”

An hour passed.

"My Mom let My Dad come back." Beth said.

Cassie tucked her legs under her, while the boys listened.

"At First I was happy, you know, because I love My Dad. Then they fought. I took My Dad's side, so Mom began calling me names, and telling me I was worthless, so I did this." She lifted up her sleeve, and showed Cassie, her scars. She then showed the boys. "Scarlett helped me quit. She said, just think of someone you love, when you want to cut and, ask would you cut them?"

"My sister, the model one?" Cassie looked around, as we all nodded. "She came back and told me I was getting fat. My parents noticed it too, and said the same. So I began to starve myself."

"I'm gay." Blake blurted out.

The girls nodded, and then they all looked at Me.

"What?" I asked, sitting back and crossing my arms. "I cut. But you already knew that."

"You have to open up or it won't work." Eli said.

I sighed, "I wanted to get the pain from the inside to the outside. There, happy?"

We all watched as Eli lifted His pant leg, showing two day old cuts. We all gasped. Mr. Cool, calm, and collected, cut?

"It was Joey's death day, two days ago. Guess the pain just consumed me. It was my fault and the guilt ate at me and got the best of me."

"You could have told us." Cassie said.

"But would you really of understood? No one does." Eli said.

"No one but Scarlett." Blake said.

"Yeah, but they didn't die cause of Me." I said. "They died from a drunk driver."

"So?" Beth stuck up for Blake. "You’re the one who understand the most out of all of us. And you see things no one Else does Scarlett."

"Me?" I pointed at myself.

"Yeah, " Cassie said. "Instead of cutting you should have talked it out."

"How could you say that?" Beth asked. "Have you ever cut before? Cutting is like a drug."

"How do you know?" I asked.

She lifted her shirt showing more scars. "Saying you should have talked about it and not cut, is like us saying you should have talked instead of starving yourself." "

I thought you quit cutting Beth." I said.

"I thought you quit too." She pulled her shirt down.

I gave her a sly smile.

"The point is, we all have problems and we haven't been honest, with each other." Eli looked at Us all. "If We want to stay friends We have to Be honest, and If we do something to harm ourselves We can't be Pissed at the four of Us that try to help the fifth one."

"We can't be helped."

"Everyone can be helped Scarlett, you know that." Eli said.

I snorted and sunk lower in my seat.

“What’s the point?” Beth asked.

“What do you mean?” Blake asked.

“The point in saving our friendship.”

“To have someone that will be there is a good enough reason.” Cassie said.

“Not if you don’t want them there.” I muttered.

“You don’t want us?” Blake asked.

I looked up at them. They all looked really sad.

“Not what I meant. Like, I don’t want you guys to worry about me because you all have your own problems. Look, If Beth Eli and I were going to stop cutting we would have. If Cassie was going to stop starving herself, it would have happened already. If Blake wanted to live, he’d stop killing himself.” I said. “Like Beth said. What’s the point of this? Of any of this? Of life even?”

I stood up and pushed open the door and hurried down the hall.

“Did you talk?” Lee asked as I passed him.

“Yeah.”

“Are you friends?”

“No.”

I pushed open the door, getting blasted with cold air. The Center was about a five minute walk from the house. I stood across the street and looked at the house. It’s been shut down from renting ever since I tried to hang myself in there. I crossed the street, and tried the door. I looked at the side window to see it cracked. I opened it and went inside.

I didn’t know why I kept doing this to myself, I honestly didn’t. I slowly pushed open his door. The chair was on the floor, along with the noose and the rag. I nudged the hard rag with my boot. I bent down and scooped up the noose. I turned it in my hands and then walked to the window. I put the noose around my neck, and shoved open the window.

I climbed out and sat on the roof. I took off the noose and looked down at it. I missed Ayden, but I kind of just put it in the back of my mind. I completely shoved away my mom and sister. I wrapped my arms around my legs and closed my eyes.