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MANIAC'S MIRROR

MANIAC'S MIRROR

 

By antim abhay

 


AKNOWLEDGEMENTS

 

I am thankful to god for creating these following individuals of unique abilities, who played a key role in making this book happen. Some of them are my friends and family and some are my mentors. They brought joy to my life and they are my inspiration. Some of them are now in heaven. I sincerely ask for their forgiveness if I have broken their hearts in anyway. I was living in oblivion but they showed me the path towards happiness.

 

Mrs. James, Mrs. John, Mrs. Julie Liddle, Mrs. Olive Singh, D.S Kushwah,Psyd Oulkar, Jboy, Jaycee, Umang, S.K Veluri, G Mishra, S Rajgopal, Atul, V.S Iyer, Priya Sharma, Kushagra, R.D Chawala, Charu, Shobha Rana, Asim Thapa, Atul Singh, Late.J.S Rana, D Kanwer, Ratna Kishore Rana, Late.Thaman Dangee, Shrimati Durga Devi, Prabhat Rana and above all the fairy of my dreams, the queen of utopia, Manju fufu.

 

And I’m also thankful to the public and police in Pondicherry and Vellore (Tamil Nadu, India) and Bangalore police too; and my college teachers, these people helped me when I needed help utmost.

 

I have adopted few songs of these following music bands Metallica, Iron Maiden, Cradle of Filth, Simon & Garfunkel, Slipknot, Black Sabbath, Pink Floyd, Nirvana, Bob Seger, Amorphis, Pantera, Megadeth, Ramones, Judas Priest, Led Zeppelin and P.O.D. and also a poem by Edgar Allen Poe. 

 

antim abhay

 

 

 

Dedicated to my parents and fufu

 

 

 

PART 1

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

BEFORE THE FUSION

1. Lost in thoughts, lost in time

My birth credentials:

Country -    Gazahbor

Planet -      Teargar

Galaxy -      Drofolax

Universe -   Arindhara

 

I have arrived here just now and as always I can’t promise to stay. There is this thing I’ am tempted to tell you, I think I’ve never done this before and I wonder what will be the outcome. Whatever you read is what I could gather from my faltering memory and write. I had to pay for making it easier for you all to understand the truth of what I have written but the cruel fact is that nobody will understand it unless and until they are in the right dimension or the right world of thoughts, moreover these dimensions are overflowing. In other words, as there are infinite images when one mirror is kept in front of another mirror in the same way there are many parallel worlds which does not look alike but they are similar in all respects even the actions, only the train of thoughts is different in all of them. We are present in all but aware of only one and it’s all in one place. Everybody here only know of one world of thoughts, they know of only one dimension, but they are present in all the dimensions in  different forms and all stay at a single point and aware of only one form. All the entities in one dimension have different identity in each dimensions. During my youth, I developed an abnormality that I cannot stay in one dimension and the same body for long. These dimensions (worlds), they may be a high level one or one from the lower levels, may be old or new.

 

In old ages there lived those who knew of all the parallel worlds or dimensions they were called Sysandrians, they were not like others divided in many fragments in different parallel universes but all there fragments from different dimensions were united into one and hence they had a single identity present in all dimensions at one time. All other living fell in love with Sysandrians as a Sysandrian could keep track of all their fragments in every dimension, they were consciously aware of them in only that one dimension in which they resided.

 

 If, in any of the world of thoughts (dimensions), that fragment of yours residing in that world disrespects them, they will never meet that part of yours again, and your fragment in that world will never know. Sysandrians were once like you but when they were chosen to become one, there way was paved towards ocean of knowledge, and they began their journey to become a Sysandrian for there was no other path. In your world no one knows about them, but in the world which is above all the worlds, Sysandria, their story is not hidden. The identity of those who are moving ahead on their path is hidden in all the worlds, their appearance is of an ordinary mad beggar. When we see such ones we react in different ways as per our wisdom. Today the ones who do not continue their journey and have taken respite are not heard of and the others are said to be moving ahead on their paths. I once knew a Sysandrian, who came back from her journey for me, her name was Atmi. She was my first master and taught me how to become one.

 

Remember in all the worlds

The faith in the unknown brings

Desire out of despair

Strength out of frailty

Conquest out of defeat

Rest after wrestle

Peace out of animosity

Forbearance after rebellion

And life out of death

You have made me so vast

Too great for this world

Too deep to be filled by nothingness

Fill my lonely soul

As you alone can speak to my heart

In words you alone can utter

 

2. Encounters with the beast

When I jump into a new different world, its good as long as I stay hidden because things get out of control when people find me, the time may pass as a blizzard or as snail moves but beware for sometimes it stays still like a rock, its then when I die by your hands, and you never know.

 

I needed time to think to get the memories from my mind

I couldn’t believe the sight

What I saw that night was real and not just fantasy

Were they reflections of my warped mind staring back at me?

Night was black, was no use holding back.

Hello darkness my old friend

I’ve come to talk with you again,

Neath the halo of a street lamp,

I turned my collar to the cold and damp

When my eyes were stabbed

By the flash of a neon light

That split the night

And touched the sound of silence

Hear my words that I might teach you,

Take my arms that I might reach out to you

But my words like silent raindrops fell

And echoed in the wells of silence

Have you ever felt

The future is the past

But you don't know how

A reflected dream

Of a captured time

Is it really now, is it really happening?

Don't know why I feel this way

Have I dreamt this time, this place?

Something vivid comes again into my mind

And I think I've seen your face,

Seen this room, been in this place

Something vivid comes again into my mind

All my hopes and expectation

Looking for an explanation

Have I found my destination?

I just can't take no more

Think I've heard your voice before

Am I still inside my dream?

Is this a new reality?

Something makes me feel that I have lost my mind

I only dream 'cause I'm alive

To save me from myself

I get up put on the light, dreading the oncoming night

Nothing that I contemplate,

Nothing that I can compare

To letting loose the demons deep inside my head

Dread to think what might be stirring

Got to keep away from drifting

Lost – In a dream of mirrors

Lost – In a paradox

Lost – And time is spinning

Lost – A nightmare I retrace

Lost – A hell that I revisit

Lost – Another time and place

Lost – A parallel existence

Lost – A nightmare I retrace

 

In every life of mine, I try to save the universe from the evil power Kilkanuks who follows me in every parallel world and feeds on the living i.e. the fragment of yours present in that world, but till now in every attempt of mine eventually I get myself neck deep into trouble, and you can’t imagine with how much pain and strife I manage to escape out of such situations. Whenever I am stuck in such conditions, I don’t know how I jump into a world of another dimension, and some of the fragments of the living in that dimension turn into rocks and ashes. The evil follows me and that dimension is saved from extinction, the fragments of the living in that world who survive forget about me and everything that happened during my stay in their world.

 

I’m waiting in my cold cell when the bell begins to chime

Reflecting on my past life and it doesn’t have much time

Cos at 5 o’clock they take me to the gallows pole

The sands of time for me are running low

When the priest comes to read me the last rites

I take a look through the bars at the last sights

Of a world that has gone very wrong for me

Can it be there’s some sort of error

Hard to stop the surmounting terror

Is it really the end not some crazy dream

Somebody please tell me that I’m dreaming

It’s not so easy to stop from screaming

But words escape me when I try to speak

As the guards march me out to the courtyard

Someone calls from a cell God be with you

If there’s a God then why has he let me die?

When you know that your time is close at hand

Maybe then you’ll begin to understand

Life down there is just a strange illusion.

 

When I arrive in the new parallel world, a new scenario begins everything is new but the end is the same (it’s no use telling you how long do I usually survive

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