Coerced To Be His by Yarmia Tariq (best books to read for women .TXT) 📖

She started her job the very next week. The hospital was a little far from home but had a very humble environment. Umer arranged her a driver who used to pick her up and drop her home. Yousef was being taken care of by his nanny all the while. 

Umer was happy that she was finally living her life according to her preferences and she did not felt pressurized under him anymore. He liked seeing her happy and jovial. 

Doing all the things she ever dreamt of made her enjoy every single moment of life. There's always a bright morning after the dark night. That's what she thought, her days of depression, struggle, torture ended and it was a new beginning to start her life. 

But the thing she couldn't forget was her past. The pain she went through. The torture she suffered was so overwhelming that she couldn't forget it for a single day. 

Although she was happily living with Umer and he changed, she was glad that she gave him chance but the past still haunts you wherever you go. You cannot escape the nightmares. 

And it was a thing which bothered Umer too. He wanted to ask for forgiveness for his sinful past actions. But it was difficult to muster up the courage to face her and redeem for his actions because he knew how much it affected her. 

The moonlight was peeping inside their dark room through the large mirror window. They both were sitting on the bed. He was busy as he went through some important documents which were placed in front of him while she was busy in her laptop. 

All day he had been trying to collect suitable words to talk to her. The thought in his mind had been bothering him all day. It was just too difficult to say everything to her. He didn't know how she would react. He kept catching glances of her time to time, in order to gather his courage and start the conversation. 

Ayleen on the other hand realized his uneasiness and confusion. But she didn't know what was bothering him so much and he just couldn't directly say that to her. 

"What is it Umer?" She finally confronted him while closing her laptop all of sudden. 

He was caught off guard as he looked at her with expressionless face. 

He piled up the files and placed them on the side table to finally say everything to her. 

"It's just... I want to ask something from you" he finally said as she looked at him, giving him all the attention he wanted. 

"Then ask please" she poked him with a smile. 

"I know you are happy with me and comfortable but it cannot cover my past actions. I have been restless all along and it kept bothering me for what I did. You didn't deserve it but I made you went through all the torture and physical too. I took a wrong step in forcing you for this marriage and then hurted you in every single way possible. And now I just regret but feel ashamed and embarrassed of it too. I don't know since now if you have developed feelings for me because I'm trying really hard to become a changed man. So can you forgive me?" He poured out all at once, hesitating in between. He looked at her face for any expressions, while eager for her response. 

She listened it all, feeling his state in which he was in. It was somehow wise to hear that he finally wanted to redeem for his actions but it couldn't lessen her pain she suffered. Her heart still ached at the memories. But she left it behind to start again with him. And now he was finally asking her for forgiveness. 

"What I suffered was too much. And I see now that how much you are guilty for your actions Umer. I see your restlessness, feel your emotions. I know everything. But Umer there's one thing that I don't have control of..... My heart. Feelings are natural, you cannot force them. I'll try and I'm trying, to forget my past. I might forgive you someday, when I'll be able to. But I'm sorry to say that...... I can never love you. No matter how hard I try, I cannot develop feelings for my tormentor. I'm sorry. It's harsh reality, I hope you don't expect something like that from me. I can be loyal and faithful to you for your whole life. But I'll not be able to love you" She told him as her eyes welled up at the mention of her past. 

He felt it. It felt breaking to him. Somewhere he knew it but it was still unbelievable to accept it. He knew it that he shouldn't expect something like that from her but still he wanted her to love him. He wanted her to love him as much he did. But maybe it was retribution for his whole life. To win something you have to lose something too. She was staying with him and started a new life with him despite her troubling past and forgot all the torments he inflicted upon her. It should be enough for him. He himself made it hard for her to love him and maybe not everyone gets the same love back in return. 

He took her hand in his, despite fighting with the disappoinment breaking him inside. He squeezed her hand lightly, forcing a warming smile through tears. 

"It's okay Ayleen. I understand you. To love someone doesn't mean that you expect the same feelings back from them. Not everyone is lucky. I love you and that's enough for me. You're here with me, trying to start new, giving me another chance and the rest are just expectations. I don't blame you for anything neither want to enforce." He replied as his voice broke in between. And she let the tears fall freely, feeling his each word. 

The emotions between them were so intense and overwhelming that a thick tension could be felt. They both just couldn't control themselves as she leaned in and placed her head on his chest, hugging him.  He also enclosed his arms around her, captivating her in his embrace. She cried on his chest as she meekly uttered, "thankyou" 

"I should thank you" he said in response as he held his own tears. 

"I want you to promise me something Ayleen" he said again. 

"I'm listening"

"Promise me that you'll never leave me again. Call me selfish and insecure but Ayleen you're my possession. As much I can't see you with anyone, neither I can stay away from you. I had the worst days of my life without you. Everyday I wished that you come to me and I could hold you in my arms. I'm crazy about me, call it madness." He confessed his insecurities openly as he wanted say everything to her at the moment. He wanted share everything he ever faced, ever affected him.