The Wallet of Kai Lung by Ernest Bramah (books successful people read .TXT) 📖

Narrated by Kai Lung, in the open space of the tea-shop of The Celestial Principles, at Wu-whei.

“Ho, illustrious passers-by!” said Kai Lung, the story-teller, as he spread out his embroidered mat under the mulberry-tree. “It is indeed unlikely that you would condescend to stop and listen to the foolish words of such an insignificant and altogether deformed person as myself. Nevertheless, if you will but retard your elegant footsteps for a few moments, this exceedingly unprepossessing individual will endeavour to entertain you with the recital of the adventures of the noble Yung Chang, as recorded by the celebrated Pe-ku-hi.”

Thus adjured, the more leisurely-minded drew near to hear the history of Yung Chang. There was Sing You the fruit-seller, and Li Ton-ti the wood-carver; Hi Seng left his clients to cry in vain for water; and Wang Yu, the idle pipe-maker, closed his shop of “The Fountain of Beauty,” and hung on the shutter the gilt dragon to keep away customers in his absence. These, together with a few more shopkeepers and a dozen or so loafers, constituted a respectable audience by the time Kai Lung was ready.

“It would be more seemly if this ill-conditioned person who is now addressing such a distinguished assembly were to reward his fine and noble-looking hearers for their trouble,” apologized the story-teller. “But, as the Book of Verses says, ‘The meaner the slave, the greater the lord’; and it is, therefore, not unlikely that this majestic concourse will reward the despicable efforts of their servant by handfuls of coins till the air appears as though filled with swarms of locusts in the season of much heat. In particular, there is among this august crowd of Mandarins one Wang Yu, who has departed on three previous occasions without bestowing the reward of a single cash. If the feeble and covetous-minded Wang Yu will place within this very ordinary bowl the price of one of his exceedingly ill-made pipes, this unworthy person will proceed.”

“Vast chasms can be filled, but the heart of man never,” quoted the pipe-maker in retort. “Oh, most incapable of story-tellers, have you not on two separate occasions slept beneath my utterly inadequate roof without payment?”

But he, nevertheless, deposited three cash in the bowl, and drew nearer among the front row of the listeners.

“It was during the reign of the enlightened Emperor Tsing Nung,” began Kai Lung, without further introduction, “that there lived at a village near Honan a wealthy and avaricious maker of idols, named Ti Hung. So skilful had he become in the making of clay idols that his fame had spread for many li round, and idol-sellers from all the neighbouring villages, and even from the towns, came to him for their stock. No other idol-maker between Honan and Nanking employed so many clay-gatherers or so many modellers; yet, with all his riches, his avarice increased till at length he employed men whom he called ‘agents’ and ‘travellers,’ who went from house to house selling his idols and extolling his virtues in verses composed by the most illustrious poets of the day. He did this in order that he might turn into his own pocket the full price of the idols, grudging those who would otherwise have sold them the few cash which they would make. Owing to this he had many enemies, and his army of travellers made him still more; for they were more rapacious than the scorpion, and more obstinate than the ox. Indeed, there is still the proverb, ‘With honey it is possible to soften the heart of the he-goat; but a blow from an iron cleaver is taken as a mark of welcome by an agent of Ti Hung.’ So that people barred the doors at their approach, and even hung out signs of death and mourning.

“Now, among all his travellers there was none more successful, more abandoned, and more valuable to Ti Hung than Li Ting. So depraved was Li Ting that he was never known to visit the tombs of his ancestors; indeed, it was said that he had been heard to mock their venerable memories, and that he had jestingly offered to sell them to anyone who should chance to be without ancestors of his own. This objectionable person would call at the houses of the most illustrious Mandarins, and would command the slaves to carry to their masters his tablets, on which were inscribed his name and his virtues. Reaching their presence, he would salute them with the greeting of an equal, ‘How is your stomach?’ and then proceed to exhibit samples of his wares, greatly overrating their value. ‘Behold!’ he would exclaim, ‘is not this elegantly-moulded idol worthy of the place of honour in this sumptuous mansion which my presence defiles to such an extent that twelve basins of rose-water will not remove the stain? Are not its eyes more delicate than the most select of almonds? and is not its stomach rounder than the cupolas upon the high temple at Peking? Yet, in spite of its perfections, it is not worthy of the acceptance of so distinguished a Mandarin, and therefore I will accept in return the quarter-tael, which, indeed, is less than my illustrious master gives for the clay alone.’

“In this manner Li Ting disposed of many idols at high rates, and thereby endeared himself so much to the avaricious heart of Ti Hung that he promised him his beautiful daughter Ning in marriage.

“Ning was indeed very lovely. Her eyelashes were like the finest willow twigs that grow in the marshes by the Yang-tse-Kiang; her cheeks were fairer than poppies; and when she bathed in the Hoang Ho, her body seemed transparent. Her brow was finer than the most polished jade; while she seemed to walk, like a winged bird, without weight, her hair floating in a cloud. Indeed, she was the most beautiful creature that has ever existed.”

“Now may you grow thin and shrivel up like a fallen lemon; but it is false!” cried Wang Yu, starting up suddenly and unexpectedly. “At Chee Chou, at the shop of ‘The Heaven-sent Sugar-cane,’ there lives a beautiful and virtuous girl who is more than all that. Her eyes are like the inside circles on the peacock’s feathers; her teeth are finer than the scales on the Sacred Dragon; her—”

“If it is the wish of this illustriously-endowed gathering that this exceedingly illiterate paper tiger should occupy their august moments with a description of the deformities of the very ordinary young person at Chee Chou,” said Kai Lung imperturbably, “then the remainder of the history of the noble-minded Yung Chang can remain until an evil fate has overtaken Wang Yu, as it assuredly will shortly.”

“A fair wind raises no storm,” said Wang Yu sulkily; and Kai Lung continued:

“Such loveliness could not escape the evil eye of Li Ting, and accordingly, as he grew in favour with Ti Hung, he obtained his consent to the drawing up of the marriage contracts. More than this, he had already sent to Ning two bracelets of the finest gold, tied together with a scarlet thread, as a betrothal present. But, as the proverb says, ‘The good bee will not touch the faded flower,’ and Ning, although compelled by the second of the Five Great Principles to respect her father, was unable to regard the marriage with anything but abhorrence. Perhaps this was not altogether the fault of Li Ting, for on the evening of the day on which she had received his present, she walked in the rice fields, and sitting down at the foot of a funereal cypress, whose highest branches pierced the Middle Air, she cried aloud:

“‘I cannot control my bitterness. Of what use is it that I should be called the “White Pigeon among Golden Lilies,” if my beauty is but for the hog-like eyes of the exceedingly objectionable Li Ting? Ah, Yung Chang, my unfortunate lover! what evil spirit pursues you that you cannot pass your examination for the second degree? My noble-minded but ambitious boy, why were you not content with an agricultural or even a manufacturing career and happiness? By aspiring to a literary degree, you have placed a barrier wider than the Whang Hai between us.’

“‘As the earth seems small to the soaring swallow, so shall insuperable obstacles be overcome by the heart worn smooth with a fixed purpose,’ said a voice beside her, and Yung Chang stepped from behind the cypress tree, where he had been waiting for Ning. ‘O one more symmetrical than the chrysanthemum,’ he continued, ‘I shall yet, with the aid of my ancestors, pass the second degree, and even obtain a position of high trust in the public office at Peking.’

“‘And in the meantime,’ pouted Ning, ‘I shall have partaken of the wedding-cake of the utterly unpresentable Li Ting.’ And she exhibited the bracelets which she had that day received.

“‘Alas!’ said Yung Chang, ‘there are times when one is tempted to doubt even the most efficacious and violent means. I had hoped that by this time Li Ting would have come to a sudden and most unseemly end; for I have drawn up and affixed in the most conspicuous places notifications of his character, similar to the one here.’

“Ning turned, and beheld fastened to the trunk of the cypress an exceedingly elegantly written and composed notice, which Yung read to her as follows:

“‘BEWARE OF INCURRING DEATH FROM STARVATION

“‘Let the distinguished inhabitants of this district observe the exceedingly ungraceful walk and bearing of the low person who calls himself Li Ting. Truthfully, it is that of a dog in the act of being dragged to the river because his sores and diseases render him objectionable in the house of his master. So will this hunchbacked person be dragged to the place of execution, and be bowstrung, to the great relief of all who respect the five senses; A Respectful Physiognomy, Passionless Reflexion, Soft Speech, Acute Hearing, Piercing Sight.

“‘He hopes to attain to the Red Button and the Peacock’s Feather; but the right hand of the Deity itches, and Li Ting will assuredly be removed suddenly.’

“‘Li Ting must certainly be in league with the evil forces if he can withstand so powerful a weapon,’ said Ning admiringly, when her lover had finished reading. ‘Even now he is starting on a journey, nor will he return till the first day of the month when the sparrows go to the sea and are changed into oysters. Perhaps the fate will overtake him while he is away. If not—’

“‘If not,’ said Yung, taking up her words as she paused, ‘then I have yet another hope. A moment ago you were regretting my choice of a literary career. Learn, then, the value of knowledge. By its aid (assisted, indeed, by the spirits of my ancestors) I have discovered a new and strange thing, for which I can find no word. By using this new system of reckoning, your illustrious but exceedingly narrow-minded and miserly father would be able to make five taels where he now makes one. Would he not, in consideration for this, consent to receive me as a son-in-law, and dismiss the inelegant and unworthy Li Ting?’

“‘In the unlikely event of your being able to convince my illustrious parent of what you say, it would assuredly be so,’ replied Ning. ‘But in what way could you do so? My sublime and charitable father already employs all the means in his power to reap the full reward of his sacred industry. His “solid house-hold gods” are in reality mere shells of clay; higher-priced images are correspondingly constructed, and his clay gatherers and modellers are all paid on a “profit-sharing system.” Nay, further, it is beyond likelihood that he should wish for more purchasers, for so great is his fame that those who come