Coerced To Be His by Yarmia Tariq (best books to read for women .TXT) 📖

She felt her heart beating very fast and she was having difficulty in breathing. She was hyperventilating. She couldn't process her condition and the people around her, continuously calling her name, checking her forehead made her more uncomfortable. 
She realized that she was having a panic attack, and immediately she tried to sat up and started taking long breaths. It was the first time that her anxiety became worse and she had severe anxiety attack. She always dealt with anxiety, from her teenage but never took it serious. She always had some minor attacks which never even affected her.
As she got normal, she heard voices around her more clearly. Her mother was now worried and her brother was offering her a glass of water. Without giving any attention to them she got up and ran to the bathroom. She splashed water on her face several times. She looked at herself in bathroom mirror. Her eyes were swollen and once everything rewinded in her mind.
That regret, guilt took over her. And she started crying. Her heart was aching once again. She felt like she needs some professional help now. Because everything in her life was going against her and now she was tired, stuck and couldn't move any further. No one was supporting her, listening to her, or even care about her. She was frustrated with her life. And that moment she remembered her teen age....
When she was dealing with depression. She tried to suicide. She tried to cut her hand several times but they only remained as hesitation scars. And she never succeeded to take her own life. Because she was not brave enough.
But now was the time, when no one wants her. Every one will be happy instead if she dies. She looked in the bathroom cabinet and found a razor.
With the help of stomping on it, she break it and got the blade out of it. Then she sat on the commode seat and placed the blade on her left hand's wrist. She closed her eyes and was just thinking about to get away from this world and escape silently. And everything will be over, she will be in peace. 
But just then someone knocked on the door loudly. And knocking became louder and louder, it felt like the door will break. 
With a fear surrounding her brain that what if she did not die after her attempt, she will have to face everyone again with more embarrassment and humiliation.
She got up immediately and hid the blade in cabinet again. And picked up the broken pieces of razor and threw them in the dustbin.
With trembling hands she unlocked the bathroom door and opened it.
And here it was, the same faces standing there.
She silently stepped out and sat on the bed.
At first she heard was all the scolding of her mother, and in response she kept silent.
Then her mother sat beside her and she still remained stiff and expressionless.

"What did you do last night? Why didn't you woke up today? You kept sleeping like a dead till 1 pm until we became worried. And you weren't even moving. We thought you attempted suicide. Let me tell you Ayleen don't ever think about attempting suicide, can you assume how much humiliation it will bring to us. What will people think? Why you attempted suicide? What we will answer them?" Her words made her shocked. She always knew that her parents have no special affection for her. And they merely love her as their first child. But now her words seemed more unbelievable to her.

"I will not do anything to upset you" she replied with moist eyes, tears were about to fall when she lifted her head down.

"That's like our daughter. Umer's family will come around 5 pm. And will join us for evening tea. And there's a chance that Umer will ask you out for dinner as her mother told me. So get dressed nicely. And today we will fix your marriage date. So I want to ask you about it. Like in your opinion which date will be the best for you?" She asked ignoring her expressions.

"You can decide as you like. I have no problem with any of that" she replied.

"Okay then. And if her mother asks about your condition that why you fainted, as Umer must have told them. So don't mention your disease. Just make a excuse that you were tired or dehydrated" her mother advised her.

"Okay" she replied shortly as she knew that last night she already mentioned to him but it had no affect on him.

"Now come and eat your breakfast, only few hours remaining until they come" she told her.

"I'm coming"

"And please Ayleen don't stress yourself, we love you. We want the best for you. Umer is a good guy and will make you happy" she tried to convince her but she just hummed in response and she got up and left the room after kissing her daughter's forehead.

Ayleen was left confused, nervous. She had no other option to accept her fate. On one hand she was sacrificing her happiness for her parents and marrying Umer, and on other hand she was doing injustice to Yahya. But she always learned that family was worth it.
So she made up her mind and decided to go with the flow. After all nothing was in her hands.

After eating breakfast, which more seemed like a lunch. She took out a pretty dress from her cupboard as per mother's choice and matched a light weighted, decent earrings with it.
Then she matched some nude heels with it.
The work in kitchen was more than usual due to guests so she had to help her mother in kitchen.

In evening it was 5 when she returned to her room and took a bath and dressed herself. She put on a light makeup with was more like nude. She was all ready to greet the guests. But before that she had to practice something.
She stood in front of the mirror, and looked at herself. What a beauty she was looking. Her sadness disappeared behind the makeup.
She told herself that she has to live every moment of her life. Even though it was not Yahya but now she is marrying according to her parents will. And she should be happy with it. She will get everyone's blessings and will always stay happy with him. She needs to move on and start her new life with a smile. And soon she forgets Yahya, the more better it will be. She smiled at herself confidently. And told herself that she is stronger than that. After all it was just a breakup and she should not feel guilty.
They were not meant to be together.