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possible. More like I couldn’t make myself do it.

After school I went over to his house to study. It took all of five minutes before I gathered my things. He looked up at me in confusion and alarm.

“What are you doing?” he asked. I stood and looked down at him.

“I’m leaving.”

“Why!?” he asked standing. I looked up at him and again wished I could see his eyes. I knew they were green when he was younger, but pictures are different than the real thing.

“Because you don’t need me.”

“Of course I do.” I shook my head but smiled to soften it.

“No you don’t. You know how to do the work you don’t need my help anymore.” I bent to pick up my things, but he put his hand on them to stop me.

“Okay so I might be better at the school work, but that doesn’t mean I don’t need your company. I wouldn’t be able to do the work if it weren’t for you. Can’t you stay? You know to keep me motivated?” he asked quickly.

“You already have most of it done. It won’t take longer than ten minutes for you to finish. You don’t need any motivation.”

“But that doesn’t mean I don’t need the company. Come on. It gets pretty lonely here all by myself before my dad gets home.” he gave me a crooked grin and I sat back down.

“Fine” He sat back down and finished his work. I was right. It took him less than ten minutes. When he was done he turned to me.

“So have you figured out what you’re going to make me do?” he asked conversationally.

“Nope. When I find out you’ll be the first to know.” he grimaced but didn’t say anything else about it.

We spent the next couple of hours just talking. We never talked about anything important, and we always kept it light. It was too easy to slide into the comfortable way we had before.

 

For the next two weeks that was the way it went. I sat with them at lunch and laughed more than I had in years. Then I went to his house after school and hung out for a few hours. It was nice and peaceful. I still hadn’t figured out what I was going to make him do though, and it was making him nervous.

Finally I found something. I had been sitting in choir reading at the end of class, when Will sat down next to me. It was something he always did after the class was done. He glanced at me a few times nervously. I sighed and turned to him.

“Spit it out” I said and he let out a breath he had been apparently holding.

“Okay so there’s this party. It’s this weekend and it’s mostly the music department. Everyone gets together in someone’s basement or garage and just plays music. It’s a lot of fun and a great way to practice without being judged.”

“And?”

“And well I was wondering if you would go with me. Just as friends of course.” he added quickly. “But none of the guys will go with me. They say it’s too corny.”

“Have any of them ever gone?”

“No they all refuse. That’s why I was hoping you might consider it.” I thought for a moment.

“Zeke doesn’t like it?” I asked. He shook his head.

“No he’s the worst about making fun of it.” I nodded.

“Bet you ten bucks I can get him to go.” I said with a burst of inspiration. He laughed.

“You’re on!” he answered and pulled out a piece of paper and handed it to me.

“Here are all the details. I’m going to go think about what I’m going to spend your money on.” he walked away laughing. I slipped the paper into my pocket and smiled. This was going to be fun.

 

When I got home I changed out of my work clothes and went down for dinner. We ate quietly and Kristi sulked. Apparently Sara had had to scold her for something. When everyone was almost done I decided it was the best time to ask.

“Umm there’s a party this Saturday. It’s basically all of the kids in the music department at school. They’re meeting in some guy’s garage, and I was wondering if it was okay if I went?” I looked just in time to catch them exchanging a glance. I held my breathe until Koner finally turned to me.

“Will there be drinking?” he asked. I shrugged.

“I don’t know”

“Aren’t there usually drinking at parties?” Sara asked me suspiciously.

“I wouldn’t know. I’ve never been to a party before.” Koner nodded like his thought was confirmed, while Sara looked stricken with horror. She looked at Koner then back at me.

“Okay you can go.”

“What time will you be back?” Koner asked taking his last bite.

“What time do you want me back?”

“How about eleven.” It wasn’t a question, but a statement. I nodded, but Sara made a sound in her throat looking at him expectantly. He sighed and looked back at me.

“Alright what about two?” he asked her. She smiled then winked at me as she turned to carry some dishes into the kitchen.

“I’m more than willing to be back by eleven.” I told Koner when she was out of the room. He shook his head.

“No she’s right. You’re young and you need to start acting like it. Go out. Have a good time. Have a normal teenage night for a change. You’ll be better off for it.” I stared at him as he walked out of the room. After a minute I gathered the rest of the dishes and took them to the kitchen.

 

 

By Saturday I was on pins and needles. I knew how I was going to get Zeke to go though. I got ready in my shirt that was off my right shoulder and a pair of jeans. I opened my bedroom door to see a jacket hanging on the door knob on the other side. I picked it up to get a better look at it, and my breath hitched.

It was a beautiful leather jacket that went perfect with just about everything I owned. It went down to my hips and the sleeves covered my hands to the base of my fingers. It was heavy and perfect. I put it on and went to look at myself in the mirror.

It was lose in all the right places. It gave me freedom to move and never got in my way no matter which way I moved. From the front it opened up and gave a good preview of my torso. I buttoned it up and it hugged my waist and still showed my hips. It looked great. I frowned slightly as I realized that I would have to leave it behind when it came time for me to leave. But I planned on enjoying it while I could.

I took the stairs quickly and they were at the bottom of the stairs waiting for me. Koner looked impressed and Sara beamed.

“I knew it would look amazing on you. It’s been getting cold at night and that hoodie would ruin any outfit you wore. So I went to the mall and this just screamed your name.”

“Thank you. It’s beautiful.”

“No need to thank me I was just trying to help.” I smiled at her and she folded me into a hug.

My hand touched her bare shoulder and I felt pressure building under my skin. I jumped and she squeezed tighter thinking I was trying to pull away. Suddenly I was in the yard with the young Sara again.

Normally when I was sucked into someone’s mind I still had my sense of self. It was like what it was. I was an outsider watching but not seen. Now it was different. As soon as I found myself in the yard everything flashed and I was looking at a hole in the ground that my hand was using a stick to dig.

Wait that wasn’t my hand it was a little girls hand. I was seeing everything from Sara’s point of view. My/ her head turned as the back door opened. I saw the woman. Sara’s mother and went through the familiar scolding.

I always felt the emotions the person felt when I was in their head, but this time it was ten times stronger. I felt the embarrassment of being caught doing something wrong. I felt the guilt of causing this woman extra work. I also felt the excitement of taking a bath again. I guess Sara really liked to take baths when she was little.

We walked into the house but paused to look up at her mom. Sara looked directly into her mother’s eyes and everything went black. I was now standing in a small school gym. I sighed with relief from no longer being in Sara’s body, only for that sigh to turn into a gasp. There was another blonde little girl on the stage at the front of the room.

I looked around to see parents and siblings sitting all around fanning themselves with bits of paper. I looked back to the girl. I walked to the front and got a closer look. It wasn’t Sara. The resemblance was uncanny, but I could see the slight differences. The hair was just a touch too blonde and there was a birthmark on her left cheek. I thought hard trying to figure out where I had seen it before. All of the breath rushed from my lungs when I remembered.

It was the same birthmark Sara’s mother had. I watched as the little girl played the part of the ghost of Christmas past. I looked out a nearby window and saw snow on the ground. I could feel how nervous the girl was and had a hard time shaking it.

All of a sudden it was the end of the play. Like someone hit chapter skip on a dvd player. All of the kids were taking their bows and then ran to their families. I followed the little girl and watched as she ran into a man’s arms. I didn’t pay much attention to him, but her mother was smiling proudly at her. To my surprise she had brown hair. I looked at her father and really took him in. He was blonde and big. He wasn’t fat. Just the opposite his size and shape rivaled Frank. After she got done hugging her father she turned to her mother and was swept up in another hug.

“Oh Celia you were great I’m so proud of you.”

Shift

“Cece!” I was standing in a dark bedroom and Celia was standing at the window. She opened it as softly as she could and leaned out. I walked over to her and looked down.

“Steve hold on.” she whispered out to him.

A young version of Sara’s father stood there with pebbles in his hand. The moon was full and he had flowers in his other hand. Celia giggled and crawled out the window. She made her way to the ground with an expertise that could only come from practice. She grabbed his hand and they ran off in the direction of a barn.

Shift

She was standing at an altar with Steve putting a ring on her finger.

Shift

She was in a hospital room looking down adoringly at a baby Sara.

Shift

She was scolding a three year old Sara for ruining her dress in the mud. The love she felt for Sara was almost palpable.

Shift

She was laying in a machine getting an MRI.

Shift

She was laying sick in bed with an eight year old Sara next to her with her head on her chest.

Shift

She was laying in another hospital room. This time there were tons of IV’s sticking out of her. The doctor was talking to Steve out in the hall, and a nine year old Sara sat in a chair next to her bed with quiet tears pouring down her face. While she clung to Celia’s hand.

Shift

She was laying in her bed at home. Her hair was thin and her skin was chalky. She was talking to Steve. It was

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