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in my pocket. Stomping back over to Emmet who was still lying in the snow, a now puzzled and horrified look in his eyes, I lashed out again.
"Your a pathetic piece of crap you know that! I haven't even been here one day and you make me feel like I just want to...want to...God!" I couldn't help the tears that started to leak from my eyes, which just fueled my anger more. It was like all the years of supressed anger from all of the people who had made fun of me, taunted me, and turned me into a freak broke out. "Your such a jerk! I mean what the hell was that? Why would you think it's ok to just freaking grab someone like that? Huh? Who the hell do you think you are?!"
I continued ranting, barely able to see through my tears now. I didn't realize Emmet had stood until he was right in front of me. He softly caressed my cheek and I don't know why, but that made me cry harder. He was holding me before I realized it. "Shhh, Lettie, oh god Im so sorry! I don't know what got ahold of me. It was just...your eyes. Someone I know has the exact same eyes. Oh please Collete, stop crying!" I did, but not because he asked me too. I realized I was pressed against his chest, my tears making it glisten in the moon light. Whoa, back up Collete. I had never really been talked to by a boy, let alone touched.
I quickly stumbled out of his arms and looked down at the snow, my face red from the crying as well as embarassment. Thats three times tonite girl, get ahold of yourself! Taking a deep shaky breath, I faced Emmet again. "I, I'm sorry about that. You didn't deserve all of it, though you did a little. You just can't go around grabbing people like that." His twisted expression looked as if he was in pain. "Lettie, please forgive me. I really don't know..I mean I can't explain how..your eyes." Always the damn eyes! I'm so sick of this crap. Can't people just get the freak over it!? Then something struck home. "Wait, you said someone you knew has the same eyes. What do you mean?" He still looked like he was suffering, but he answered, voice as tortured as his eyes. "I meant what I said. I never would have grabbed you like that I swear. I was just shocked. When I saw your eyes, completely black, like theres not even a pupil, they look exactly like my little brothers."
I listened, but didn't comprehend at first. Someone else, someone else was an outsider like me. Someone else suffered like me. I just couldn't grasp it. I had been alone in my pain for so long, I just couldn't believe there was somone who could relate to me. "Collete?" Emmets big hands were on me again, this time gently shaking my shoulders, his voice worried. I had to meet him! I had to know if he suffered from the nightmares and the unexplained pain as I did. I had to know if he knew what was wrong. Maybe he could help me! Startling Emmet, I grabbed his coat and stood on tip toes, bringing our faces as close as I could. "I have to meet your brother Emmet! He could help me, help me understand whats going on with me, whats wrong!"
His eyes were full of confusion, and something else. Pity. I hated pity. I felt myself getting angry again. Pushing back, I stared him down. "Don't look at me like that! You don't understand, no one understands. Thats the problem! If what you saids true, then maybe someone does. And I can't just let...I mean I have to meet him ok." My voice had taken on a begging tone and I hated it, but I needed this boy to help me. "Emmet, please?!" He stood still, not saying a word but just looking at me. I couldn't tell what he was thinking, his eyes revealed nothing. Finally, after what felt like hours, he spoke. "I don't think it's a good idea."
I tried to ask why the hell not, but he held up his hand. "At least not for awhile. Gord just practically almost died tonight and I don't think he could handle something like this until he's had a few days to rest." So he did suffer from the same things I did! My brain went into over drive. "What exactly happened to him? Emmet, this is important! Something happened to me too. Its been happening to me since I was four years old!"


Emmet Leon Donnor
What the hell? I couldn't believe all of this was happening. In the course of two hours I had become a stalker, touched a girl that made me feel as though I never wanted to let her go, found she was like Gord, then hurt her for it. God,I couldn't believe I had grabbed her like that. I just wanted to kick the crap out of myself for hurting her. That was the complete opposite feeling I had for her. I wanted to hold her and protect her, love her. Whoa, calm down Emmet. It was like my brain was trying to think about too many things at once. So many different feelings tormented me to the point where I just wanted to turn around and run; forget any of this had happened. But I couldn't.
Collete. Lettie. Even the thought of her name made my heart pick up speed. She was angry again, though her black eyes showed no emotion. They were just as void as Gordans were. I tried to shut my thoughts out and pay attention, which wasn't too hard. Her voice was silky and feminine and made me want to crush my lips to her. God, stop! What was wrong with me? She was saying she wanted to meet Gord. Would that be a good idea? Yes, it would, but not yet. Picking my words carefully, I answered her. "I don't think thats a good idea." As soon as I stopped, I could see her get angry and open her mouth, but I held up my hand to stop her. "At least not yet. Gord just practically almost died tonight and I don't think he could handle something like this until he's had a few days to rest."
Colletes eyes grew wide as she got excited. Her voice became breathy as she talked. "What exactly happened to him? Emmet, this is important! Something happened to me too. Its been happening to me since I was four years old!" Stunned, I just looked at her. It couldn't be. The doctors said they had never seen anything like Gord. Could this girl really have some kind of connection to him? But how could that be, two complete strangers with an unidentified illness that just so happened to live in the same state, town, hell across the street!? It was so unlikely I couldn't help but think this girl might just be nuts. But the eyes! They both had the same black, depthless eyes.
"Emmet, please help me out here!" I looked down at her and saw that she was close to tears again, her nose turning red as salty water filled her eyes. I couldn't bare it if she cried again. Sighing, I crunched through the snow to the fallen trunk she had used to sketch the field and sat down. Putting my head in my hands, I gave her what she wanted. "Gord has been sick for a long time. When he was four, it started with his eyes." I looked over at Lettie, who was now sitting on the wood beside me. She was completely motionless, staring at the spruce in the center of the field, though I knew she was listening. "He just woke up and they were black. Then came the nightmares, then the pain. It's like..." "Like his bodies rejecting him. Like it's trying to change him from the inside out."
Colletes voice was barely a whisper. She was still looking at the tree, but thats not what she was seeing. Not even thinking about it, my hand found hers. When she didn't try to pull away, I scooted closer. "Lettie, tell me." A minute passed before she looked at me, and when she did a shiver ran down my spine. I couldn't help it. It was like I was looking into Gords eyes, which was just weird because I had the strongest urge to kiss this girl. She took a deep, shaky breath.
"I was born with green eyes. The morning of my 4th birthday I woke up and crawled out of bed. I had a small, stuffed wolf that I had gotten from Ginger, my grandmother, when I was born. I clutched it to me as I walked to my mothers room. I remember how excited I was because every year for my birthday my mother would take me out and get a toy and a new dress. We always got a yellow one because my mother loved how the color brought out my eyes. She used to tell me I was so beautiful, that she had never seen anyone with such pretty green eyes as I had. That she didn't know where they came from. Hers were blue."
When she spoke of her mother, tears leaked from her eyes, but she kept going. I wanted to tell her it was ok, to stop, but my need to know more kept me silent. "When I got to her room, I stood in front of her, telling her to wake up, its my birthday! She stirred, stretched out, eyes still closed but smiling. I giggled and told her if she was awake she had to open her eyes or I would jump on the bed. Her laughed turned into a scream when she finally looked at me." She was full out crying now, but it seemed like she couldn't stop.
"When I turned eight, I started having nightmares, horrible nightmares. Something was always chasing me, trying to get me. To kill me? I don't know, but I knew it wanted something and I couldn't let it happen. They got more vivid and detailed as I grew. Some weren't as bad as others. I had one earlier, after I passed out. It was actually one of the better ones."
Collete gave a sharp laugh at her last statement, as if yeah it was better, but it still sucked. "Why did you pass out?" She looked up at me as if she'd forgotten I was there. Pulling her hand from mine, she clasped them in front of her and continued. "When I was twelve, I started having pains. They would start in my stomach and get so bad i'de beg god for him to stop my heart so I didn't have to feel the pain. Then they'de be in my spine, traveling from top to bottom, over and over. Over the years they got worse, sometimes spreading from my stomach to my head, then down my spine to my legs."
She stopped again, as if she had to build herself up to keep talking. I used the moment to register what i'de just heard. She was like Gord. The same problems starting at exactly the same times. It just wasn't possible, but still here it was. I looked at her with a new light. Maybe she was right. Maybe if Gord and Collete met, talked, they could figure out what was wrong with them. I made up my mind right then to introduce them as soon as I could. Lettie shivered and wrapped her coat tighter around her.
" My mother took me to the emergency room the first time
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