The Book of the Thousand Nights and a Night, vol 15 by Sir Richard Francis Burton (classic romance novels .TXT) 📖

Yuzbashi, so coming up to him she said, “O my lord, how is it that thou art a Captain and that thy worth and thy length and thy breadth are on such wise; withal thou obeyest the word of a fellow Jinn-mad[FN#352] and sayest that there is a man in thine own house. This is indeed a reproach to thee.” So the Yuzbashi of his stupidity believed her, and approaching the Barber on the edge of the cistern shaft cuffed him with a cuff whose excess of violence dazed him and he fell upon the floor retaining naught of his senses. When the woman saw this she cried to her husband, “Pinion his elbows at this moment and suffer me take my due of him by a sound drubbing, and then let him go.” “This is the right rede,“quoth he and after all was done she cried to her husband, “Come with us above that we enjoy our pleasure, and Alhamdolillah that thou didst not go to the place of invitation for I should have been desolate by thine absence this day.” So they ascended and sat together, each beside other, and they sported and were gladdened and rejoiced; and after that the Captain lay down and was presently drowned in slumber. Seeing this the wife arose and repaired to the cistern shaft wherefrom she released her beloved and finding all his clothes in a filthy state from the excess of what had befallen him of affright penetrating into his heart by reason of the Yuzbashi, she doffed his dress and bringing a bundle of clean clothing garbed him therein, after which his fear was calmed and his heart comforted and he was set on the right way. Then she led him to a private stead, wherein they twain, he and she, took their joyance and had their pleasure and made merry for the space of three hours, till such time as each had had fullest will of other. After this he went forth from her and the Veiler veiled him. On such wise were the wife’s doings; but as regards what befel the Barber-man, he ceased not to remain strown on the ground and dazed by the stress of the blow and he abode there pinioned for a while. About midafternoon the Yuzbashi’s wife went to her husband and awaking him from sleep made for him coffee which he drank and felt cheered; and he knew nothing anent that his spouse had done with her beloved during the while he slumbered like unto a he goat. So she said to him, “Rise up and go we to the man and do thou drub him with the soundest drubbing and turn him out.” Quoth he, “Yes indeed, by Allah, verily he deserveth this, the pimp! the pander! the procurer!” Accordingly he went to him and finding him lying upon the ground raised him and said to him, “Up with thee and let us seek the man whereof thou spakest.” Hereupon the Barber arose and went down into the cistern shaft where he found none and therewith the Captain laid the fellow upon his back; and, baring his arms to his elbows, seized a Nabb�t[FN#353] and beat him till he made water in his bag-trowsers; after which he let him go. So the Barber arose and he in doleful dumps, and went off from the house and ceased not wending until he reached his shop about sunset, hardly believing in his own safety.

 

THE GOODWIFE OF CAIRO AND HER FOUR

GALLANTS.[FN#354]

 

It is said that in Misr lived a woman, a model of beauty and loveliness and stature and perfect grace, who had a difficulty with a man which was a Kazi and after this fashion it befel. She was the wife of an Emir[FN#355] and she was wont to visit the Baths once a month; and when the appointed term for her going forth had come, she adorned herself and perfumed herself and beautified herself and hastened, tripping and stumbling,[FN#356]

to the Hamm�m. Now her path passed by the Kazi’s court-house where she saw many a man[FN#357] and she stopped to enjoy the spectacle, upon which the judge himself glanced at her with a glance of eyes that bequeathed to him a thousand sighs and he asked her saying, “O woman, hast thou any want?” “No indeed,”

answered she, “I have none.” Then he inclined to her and drawing near her said, “O lady mine and O light of these eyne, is union possible between us twain?” She replied, “‘Tis possible,” and he enquired of her when it could be, and she made an appointment with him saying, “Do thou come to me after supper-time,”—And Shahrazad was surprised by the dawn of day and fell silent and ceased to say her permitted say. Then quoth her sister Dunyazad, “How sweet is thy story, O sister mine, and how enjoyable and delectable! Quoth she, “And where is this compared with that I would relate to you on the coming night an the King suffer me to survive?” Now when it was the next night and that was The Seven Hundred and Thirty-ninth Night, Dunyazad said to her. “Allah upon thee, O my sister, an thou be other than sleepy, finish for us thy tale that we may cut short the watching of this our latter night.” She replied, “With love and good will!” It hath reached me, O auspicious King, the director, the right-guiding, lord of the rede which is benefiting and of deeds fair-seeming and worthy celebrating, that the Goodwife said to the Kazi, “Do thou come to me after supper-time,” and went her ways and entered the Hammam, where she washed herself and cleaned herself; then, coming out thence, she determined to go home. But she was met on her road by a Gentleman[FN#358] who was Sh�hbandar of the Trader-guild, and he seeing her set his affections upon her; so he accosted her, saying, “Is’t possible that we ever be merry together?” Hereat she appointed him to come when supper was done, after which she left him and ganged her gait. As she neared her home she was met by a Butcher whose heart inclined to her, so he addressed her saying, “Is union possible?” and she appointed him to visit her an hour after supper had been eaten. Then she went home and mounting the stairs took seat in the upper saloon open to the air, where she doffed her head-veil[FN#359] and all that was upon her head. Now in the neighbourhood of her house was a Trader and he had mounted to the terrace-roof for a reason; so when the woman bared her hair and taking up a comb began to dry and prepare it for dressing, his eyes fell upon her whilst so engaged, and his heart was engrossed with her love. Presently he sent to her an old woman; and she returned him a reply and appointed him to visit her house during the night after suppertide. On this wise she had promised herself to four men.[FN#360] Now the Kazi had got ready for her a Kohl-style and the Gentleman had prepared for her a fine suit of clothes and the Butcher had led for her a full-sized ram and the Trader had set apart for her two pieces of silk. As soon as it was supper-time, behold, the Kazi repaired to her in privacy bringing his gift and knocked at the door which he found unbolted and she cried to him, “Come in.” Accordingly he entered to her and presented to her that which was with him, but hardly had he settled himself comfortably in his seat when the Gentleman arrived and also rapped. Quoth the Kazi to the Goodwife, “Who may this be?” and quoth she, �Fear thou nothing, but arise and doff thy dress;” so he stripped himself altogether and she garbed him in a gaberdine and bonnet[FN#361] and hid him in a closet and went to open the door. Hereupon appeared the Consul and she let him in and accepted what he had brought and seated him beside her. But hardly had he settled down when, behold, there came a knock at the door and he cried, “Who may that be?” Said she, “Fear nothing but up and doff thy dress;” so he arose and stripped himself and she disguised him in a gaberdine and bonnet and hid him in another closet all alone. Then she hastened to the door and suddenly the Flesher-man appeared and she let him in and led him within and having accepted his present seated him; but hardly was he at his case when the door was again knocked, whereat he was overcome and affrighted: however, she said to him, “Fear nothing, but arise and doff thy dress in order that I may hide thee.” So he threw off his clothes and she invested him in a gaberdine and a bonnet and thrust him into a third cabinet. After this she went and opened the door when there came to her the Trader who was her neighbour, so she let him in and took what was with him, and seated him; and he was proceeding to sit down in comfort when behold, some one knocked at the door and he said, “Who may that be?” Hereupon she cried, “O my honour! O my calamity! This is my husband who but yesterday[FN#362] killed off four men; however do thou rise up and doff thy dress.” He did as she bade him, upon which she garbed him in a gaberdine and a bonnet and laid him in a fourth closet. So these four one and all found themselves in as many cabinets[FN#363] sorely sorrowful and fearful; but she went forth and suddenly her mate the Emir came in and took seat upon a chair that was in the house. Hereat all four sensed that she had opened to her husband and had admitted him; and they said in their minds, “Yesterday he killed four men and now he will kill me.” And each and every considered his own affair and determined in his mind what should happen to him from the husband. Such was the case with these four; but as regards the housemaster, when he took seat upon the chair, he fell to chatting with his wife and asking her saying, “What hast thou seen this day during thy walk to the Hammam?” Said she, “O my lord, I have witnessed four adventures and on every one hangeth a wondrous tale!” Now when the four heard the Goodwife speaking these words each of them said to himself, “Indeed I am a dead man and ‘tis the intention of this woman to peach upon me.” Presently her husband asked her, “What be these four histories?” and answered she, “I saw four men each and every of whom was an antic fellow, a droll, a buffoon; furthermore, O my lord, one and all of them were garbed in gaberdine and bonnet.”—And Shahrazad was surprised by the dawn of day and fell silent and ceased saying her permitted say. Then quoth her sister Dunyazad, “How sweet and tasteful is thy tale, O

sister mine, and how enjoyable and delectable!” Quoth she, “And where is this compared with that I would relate to you on the coming night an the Sovran suffer me to survive?” Now when it was the next night and that was

 

The Seven Hundred and Forty-first Night, Dunyazad said to her, “Allah upon thee, O my sister, an thou be other than sleepy, finish for us thy tale that we may cut short the watching of this our latter night!” She replied, “With love and good will!” It hath reached me, O auspicious King, the director,the right-guiding, lord of the rede which is benefiting and of deeds fair-seeming and worthy celebrating, that the woman said to her husband, “Moreover each of the four was