You Were Never There by Mileena Jeffery (digital ebook reader TXT) 📖

Hey guys before you read this book in progress, I would absolutely love if you would give me feedback in the comments on what I can do to improve it and any errors. I know I still have some work to do for it but I would appreciate it very much. Thank you!

So another day, another boring day at the dreadful school. I say dreadful even though I enjoy school, well, only because it's better than being at home. School still sucks, but it was fun at sometimes. Each day I finished brought me another day closer to being in high school. I was scared for that. Anxious. Nervous. Fearful. Hopefully it will be better than I think.
I started my day off with my boring and painful routine of crawling out of bed. I never wanted to get up but I knew I have to. I threw on some clothes, but do not like how they fit and looked on me so I grabbed another outfit and tried that on. Now what, shoes? I checked the time and grabbed my boots. I stuffed my work in my bag and grabbed a rice crispy treat to eat while I waited for the bus. Shoot, I didn't brush my hair. Oh well. I took one of the hair ties off my wrist and threw my hair into a messy bun. It probably looked horrible because of how my hair does this thing where it bunches up and shows my scalp. It just looked plain bad. Whatever. At this point I could care less, well I acted like it, but really I do care. I care a l o t.
The engine of the bus roared from down the road and I stood alert, wondering how I should look or what I should be doing when it shows up. I just stared at my hands and criticized how bad my nails look. I really needed to stop chewing them. The bus stopped in front of my house, I say my house but we just rent it from some old crazy guy. It wasn't the best situation, but what can you do when you're poor? It's better than being homeless that's for sure, well maybe not. It doesn't really matter. My anxiety rose as I stepped on the bus. Though, it is a normal daily routine I have to go through, I was just scared that everyone is secretly judging me. I mean, why shouldn't they, I judge other people when they get on. Just find a good seat, I told myself, not too close to the front but not in the back with the high schoolers. Thankfully, I found a good seat. I took off my bag and set it next to me and waited for the bus to arrive at the school.

At school once again. I got off the bus and walked into the building, taking a left immediately. That's the way to the middle schoolers wing. I'm in eighth grade. I got to the stairs and took them up to reach my classroom. I shoved my bag in the locker on the way there but kept my binder out. I ended up in the classroom with a good deal of time before school started. "Good morning, Eve," Mr. Jones said as I entered.
"Yep..." I mumbled to myself with an eye roll. For some reason male teachers creeped me out. Half of my teachers were male, and everyone swears the English teacher is a pedophile. He was creepy looking and always had girls sitting closest to his desk, especially the sluttier ones. I couldn't wait until I got away from that class. It sucked because I loved writing and reading, but that teacher ruined it. Oh well... I suppose. "Morning," I replied.
"Ready for school?"
"Am I ever?" I chuckled as I hurriedly walk out of the classroom. I walked down the hall awkwardly and anxiously trying to find a friend to socialize with. I saw Jesse and Em standing together so I joined them. "Hey guys."
"Hey Eve. What's up?" Em asked.
"Eh, the usual. Just wanna get this over and done with, though I'd rather be here than home if you know what I mean."
"What's wrong with home?" Jesse budded in.
"You have no idea..." I mumbled. "So, ready to find out our groups in history?"
"That's today?"
"Yes," I laughed.
"I hope I'm with you guys," Answered Jesse.
"I wish Ashton was in our class. I would love him in our group. He's such a hot dude," Rambled Em.
I laughed. "I'm hoping I'm in a group with Jeremy."
"You still like him?"
"Yeah...I asked him out the other week actually."
"What did he say?" They both asked in anticipation.
I sighed thinking about what he replied. "That he wasn't ready to be in a relationship."
"Aww, boo that sucks." Em tried to comfort me.
"But wait.. What really bothers me is the next day, I overheard him talking to Kyle, that he had a girlfriend."
"Meaning...you?"
"I doubt it. He's dating someone else. I don't have a chance with him anyway. I'm too ugly and stuff." The bell rung as soon as I finished talking.
"Off to home room, see you in a half hour," Em said walking away.
"Gotta go. Bye." Jesse said running off.
Other students pass by me as I stand in the hall left in my thoughts. They didn't even try to say I wasn't ugly, that I wasn't right. They don't really care for me do they? I'm just overthinking it. I slowly head down the hallway to home room. Mine as well get some reading done.
I walked into the science classroom which was my homeroom class. "Grade check," Mr. Jones stated loudly.
Wonderful, I thought to myself. I just wanted this time to read, not waste the half hour waiting in some dumb line just to get a three second look at my great grades. But since it was a Monday, it was time to get them checked, not that they even get updated weekly. I grabbed the laptop from the cart and turned it on, logged into the website, and got in line to wait. A few others were in front of me. "What is this?" The teacher practically yelled, "An F? Joey, I thought you were better than that. We just worked on getting your grades up too." I heard some scattered chuckles. I waited longer until it was finally my turn. I unfolded the laptop and woke it up. The computer opened up the browser showing my stellar grades. "Good going, Eve, like always."
"Yeah, heh, thanks," I awkwardly said. My anxiety didn't like conversations normal people would have. I walked over to my seat with the computer in my hands. I sat down and hastily shoved the computer in my book bag. I checked the clock and the time told me I had five more minutes before this class would be over. Wonderful. I didn't have enough to time to read my book so I just fiddled with a pencil. When the bell did go off, I got up and headed to history.
When I had walked into the classroom I had no idea what my fate had chosen, well teacher. Our groups were final for the rest of the year. It was only a month into school. My class sucked so much that we had to get assigned seats, which would also be our group for this project and any others we did for this year. Great. I headed around tables to read the names off sticky notes and see where mine was placed and with who. Each group I passed that I didn't see my name on or Jeremy's or my friends, my anxiety rose and bubbled up. The next table I checked was my group. Jeremy, Eve, Kyle, Jackson I sat down in a chair disappointedly. I got stuck with the worst people. Jeremy was okay but with Kyle they wouldn't get any work done at all and Jackson would get distracted by anything. You could give that kid a pen and he could invent seven new things with it. I didn't know him personally but judging by what I've heard, he isn't the brightest crayon in the box. My other classmates file into class as I sit thinking about what I would say to Jeremy. When he does walk in I shout to him to tell him where he sat, but I did it a little to loudly. Everyone stared at me and I felt my face flush. I'm so fucking stupid, oh my god... I thought to myself. He sits down and I give a soft hey.
"Hi..." He said awkwardly back. After a moment he perked back up when his friends sat down with us. "How was your weekend?"
I smiled and answered, "Oh it was..."
"I wasn't talking to you wierdo," Jeremy interrupts. I shrink down in my seat. I just wanted to disappear.
Kyle starts up on his weekend. "Oh, well, I went swimming again before it gets too cold, also I..." I blocked a lot of it out. I kept thinking back to what Jeremy said to me a minute ago. He called me a wierdo. Am I really that strange? Aren't I like the rest of you? I wished I could go back and fix how I called him over. That probably caused it. I have an issue where I can't control the volume of my voice very easily. Well mainly it happens when I'm anxious and a lot of the time I end up being too loud and boisterous. The second bell finally rang and class started, ending my thoughts. Ms. Morris started up on her good mornings and introductions, briefly summarizing our group work. She gave each group a packet of papers that we had to do together while going through the textbook. We were supposed to split the work up evenly, but I knew straight away I would be the one doing everything. I took a pencil out of my bag and started writing our names on the paper, while the boys discussed a disgusting topic I wish I never heard. I'll spare you the details.
After a few minutes of their nonsensical bullshit I attempted to stop them. "Guys, we have work to do."
"Come on, Eve, don't be a bitch and just do the damn work." I was stunned. Jeremy just said that to me. That's not like him. He was so nice and now...what the hell happened?
"Ha ha ha, nice going Jeremy." Kyle gave him a high five. Really?
"What's your problem?" I ask genuinely confused. I never had done anything to them. I mean yeah, I could be annoying, but I wasn't that bad, was I?
"You," Jackson said, "just do the work so we can get a good grade. At least I'll pass this class with the know-it-all