Goodbyes by Rocky Van Gordon (i have read the book TXT) 📖

Preface


I've always thought I've known the difference between life and death. I always thought that after you live you die and leave the earth with your soul. I always thought ghosts were fake. I always thought..... That's just it, I thought, I never KNEW, but I guess, now I do. I think I died last night. Yet, I am still walking around, I'm still buying my daily coffee at Starbucks. I'm still here. I SHOULD BE DEAD! But I'm not. I DIED! I don't know anymore. Am I dead? Or am I alive? I just don't know. But what I do know is that, I watched myself die tonight. I listened to my heart beat fade. I smelled my own dead body.

I heard my mother go into hysterics when she saw me, not me as in dead me, but me as in the one who is standing and typing this right now. I watched everything. I saw everything. I know who killed me. I know who is going after my best friend. I know what they want.

I've been given another chance at life, and I am sure as hell taking this chance, even if it doesn't last long.
~~~
I see myself laying on an infirmary bed, with an IV and a lot of monitors touching all my body parts. I see the doctor walk passed the door and stair at the other me solemnly, and then at me with shock and fear running through his face and then scurry off. I'm watching from a corner now, where my mother can't see me.

I'm listening to the heart rate monitor going soft and steady. Beep... Beep... Beep... Beep... Beep. I watch my mom touch my hand that is laid on my stomach. I can feel it on me, even though she's not actually on me. I touch where her hands would be, and I can feel them, they just aren't there exactly. I can feel the warmth of her hands on my own. I now feel static in our hands.

She looks up, at me, but doesn't see me since I am hiding in the corner. She looks back down at my dying body. "Estelle, please don't leave me." Beep... Beep... Beep... "Please, Ellie, please." She mutters and my father comes in and kneels down beside the dying me.

I can see blood. The wound on my arms are still bleeding. I wonder if they've noticed it yet. I wonder if they know this might be the thing to kill me.

I can feel a stinging on my arm and the warmth of my blood coming out. But yet, there is no blood and there is no wound. I see my father put his arm on my mother's back "It's going to be okay, Jane. She's going to make it. She's going to make it. Estelle is a strong young woman, and she can make it through anything." My mother breaks down into more tears.

Beep....... Beep....... Beep........ I can feel more blood running down my arm. Yet there is still no blood on me, but the blood stain on "Dying Me"'s arm arm is getting bigger and bigger, and yet my parents aren't noticing it.

I feel a sting and I yelp softly. my parents look over to where I am standing but I cower in the corner a little farther back and watch quietly as my parents hold each other.

Beep.......... Beep.......... Beep...... I want to scream at my mother to look at "Dying Me" but she doesn't, she just keeps crying, letting me die further.

I feel dizzy. I'm watching the eyes on "Dying Me" I'm watching how they are loosening up. Beep..... My mother cries a little harder and I feel a little weaker. I feel weak, but inside I feel as strong as ever. I don't think it's me who is dying.... I don't know who it is, but if I'm over there dying I should be dying in her body. Not outside her body in a corner.

Beep... My mom looks up at my dying body and her eyes widen in shock. "J-J-J-James.... H-H-Her a-a-a-arm." She cries and listens to the heart monitor slow even further down.

Beep........... Beep........... Beeeeeeeeeeeep. My mother is crying, she is in hysterics. I'm dead. I'm wanting to whisper "Goodbye mommy and daddy" and I don't know what's stopping me. So, I quietly whisper it and I see a smile appear on there faces. They heard me....

Publication Date: 10-23-2011

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