The First Wolf's Moon by Savannah Turberville (latest books to read TXT) 📖

Mom and Clara were looking on from the kitchen threshold and Rick stood motionless looking from me to Nathan and back again. He then coughed.  Forcing all attention on him.

          "I think it'll be best if y'all went outside and talk this out."

          "No it's okay. There is nothing more to say. All that's left now is for us to process what was said." Mom said. Saving me from acting right then. "Come on, April. Go lay down. I know you didn't sleep last night and I'll bring your sandwiches to you." I nodded and did what she said. She was right everyone there needed to process what was said. I ate and then fell into a blissful sleep. When I woke the next morning I felt that I was truly reborn.

 

Chapter Six: Memories Return

 

He loves me? Does he really? These are the questions that plagued my thoughts as I laid there in Nathan's bed. He shocked everyone when he said it but to me it wasn't what he said. It's how he said it. I could hear in his voice the raw emotion and the anger at my accusation that I was nothing but a job to him. 

  "You should talk to him." Terra said as sweetly as she could.

  "I can't." My voice sounded weak and fragile. I then sat up and drew my knees to me.Wrapping my arms around my legs I rested my chin on my knees.

   "Why not?"

   "Because I don't know what I feel. I'm so confused and adding you into the mix isn't helping."

   "Maybe if you talk to him and not argue then maybe you can figure something out."

   "Terra, it won't help. Besides it's the middle of the night. There is no way he'll be up now." 

   "Why don't you try and find out?" I sighed in defeat. I wasn't going to win this battle with Terra but I knew she was right. I needed to talk to him. But my feelings toward him have changed.  Like everything else. Not long ago I always said that no matter what who I married or dated would be someone I chose. Unfortunately that had changed. I won't chose I'm with. Terra will and that mad me madder then anything else. Having my freedom to make a decision stripped away from me made me feel like I was nothing but a pawn. Who had no thoughts, no choice, no freedom. I was nothing but obedient and useful. 

    "You really need to stop with that. You have a choice. Me and you are now one. So whatever I want you want it too." 

    "It doesn't feel that way."

    "Because you didn't want to admit it to yourself until I came along. Now you know that you subconsciously wanted Nathan and it scares the hell out of you. But you aren't the first. Many of your ancestors didn't want to admit to themselves that they wanted the their guardian. Until finally they realized that their guardian was the man they wanted with or without me. You'll come to the same realization. But you have to talk to him first."

     "You're not going to let this go until I talk to him, are you?"

     "Nope." 

     "You suck."  Taking a deep breath I tried to send a message to only Nathan. I hoped that I wouldn't wake anyone up and a part of me hoped he would be asleep. "Nathan, you up?"

      "Yeah." Hearing his voice in my head made my heart rate speed up. 

      "You....You want to talk?" 

      "I thought we did that earlier." I could hear his sadness and a little bit of anger in his voice.

      "Please, Nathan. We need to talk." I waited for him to reply. It got to the point where I thought he was ignoring me. "Nathan?"

      "I'll be there in a minute."And he was right. Before I knew it he was knocking on the door. My heart skipped a beat. I hesitated. The words 'Come in' stuck in my throat and I had no way to get them out. I wanted to see him. I needed to. But fear gripped me. What will I say? What will be our next step? Will I lose him after this? Without waiting for me to answer him, Nathan walked in. My breath caught in my throat. He wore nothing but navy blue gym shorts. I adverted my gaze. He was beautiful. His muscles bulged. He looked as if he worked out every day. Keeping a physique that was simple gorgeous.  Closing the door, Nathan stood there with his arms crossed.

     "You wanted to talk?" He said. I could hear the amusement in his voice. I kept my eyes on the wall. Terra kept pestering me to look and admire him. She even told me to go have a feel but I couldn't. 

     "Uh... could you put a shirt on?" I asked as I felt my cheeks warm up. 

    "I could but why would I? I get hot at night. Besides you would have to pass me one." 

     "Where are they?"

    "In the dresser." Thankfully the dresser was near the wall I was looking at. Keeping my eyes focused on that I got up, grabbed a black shirt, and handed it to Nathan. He reached out to grab it and our hands touched. That tingle I felt the first time we touched was there, but it was different. This time it came full force. Warmth began to spread through out my body and before I noticed what I was doing I slowly turned around and met his stare. Nathan's eyes were filled with longing, love, and a deep desire that I knew all too well. I began to breath heavily. I wanted so bad to touch, to kiss him, to become his. It was a feeling that over powered. 

      "His your mate. Of course you will feel like this toward him." Terra said.

     "Shut up!" I said snapping myself back to reality. It took all I had to pull my hand away from his. When I did I turned my back to him and took a sit on the bed.

    "Did you feel that?" I asked. My voice sounded like it came from a child who was afraid.

   "You know I did." Nathan said as he put on the shirt I gave him.

   "What was that?" 

  "Our connection. Our wolves have already excepted each other as mates and so their giving us a little push toward each other until we give in."

    "So, basically we had no choice in the matter?"

   "We do. At any moment we could reject the other but it will be painful for both of us." I turned to face him.

   "What do you mean?"

   "When a wolves chose to be mates they bond together to get their host to also agree. When they bond they tie their spirits together. Making them the other ones half. But the host of the wolves still have a choice in the matter. if they chose to reject the mate that their wolf has chosen for them then the two wolves spirits tear apart and that hurts like hell. After its done the host will feel forever as if a part of themselves is gone. They will try to fill the void but they won't be able to." 

     "So you're telling me that Terra and your wolf- "

    "Luss."

    "Luss? That's your wolf's name?"

    "Yeah."

    "Okay, how did you come up with that?"

    "I didn't. Like you I can communicate with my wolf,but I can't do it all the time. Only when in wolf form. "

     "Oh....anyway, Luss and Terra basically took it upon themselves to make themselves mates?" 

     "Yep it was beautiful to watch."

     "You saw them bind together."

    "Yeah... we-we both did." As soon as he said the words I was no longer sitting on his bed. 

The scene that stood before me was when me and Nathan were twelve years old. We were behind his house in the woods, sitting on a boulder that was covered in moss. I could feel it under me. It was cold and wet but I didn't care. All I cared about was Nathan sitting next to me. I could feel the warmth radiating from his body. It was dawn and the sun was coming up. But all I could think about was him. For the longest time I've had a crush on him. Every day and hour I was with him I couldn't help but admire him and feel close to him.  Even though the sun was casting the forest in a beautiful light i couldn't help but look at Nathan. Everything about him was intoxicating. His smell, his laugh, the way he moved.

      "Why are you looking at me?" Nathan said turning toward me. I looked away.

      "No reason." 

      "Apple?"

     "It's nothing Nat. I was just making sure you didn't have a bug on you." I lied meeting his gaze. I knew I was caught but I wasn't about to admit to him that I liked him. When I met his stare I felt something inside stir and I knew he felt it too. And before either of us could say a word a grey light ascended from my chest. A black light came from him. We watched as they circled each other. Getting higher and higher. They eventually took on a shape and those shapes were two wolves. One grey and one black. They paid no attention to us and looked at each other. They step toward each other until the touched each others forehead. Then they vanished. I gasped in shock as I felt my wolf return to my body. Hesitantly, I turned to Nathan. He met my gaze.

    "Does that mean what I think it means?" I asked my voice shaky. Nathan nodded and just like that I was back in Nathan's room on his bed.

      "April, are you okay?" Nathan asked. My head was in my hands and he was crouched down beside me. The look of concern on his face made my heart do a flip. I slowly met his gaze. 

     "I remember."

     "You what?" 

     "I remember. I remember me and you together when Luss and Terra joined." The look of realization came across his face as my words began to sink in. Before I could stop my self I reached my hand out and caressed his cheek. I remembered all the times I stole looks at him hoping he wouldn't see me. I remember when I realized I liked Nathan. 

      "That's why you chose him. You knew I was falling in love with him."

      "I promised you when you were young that I wouldn't make you mate with a man you didn't love and who I didn't think would be good for you." 

      "Thank you."

       "No problem." And with that our conversation ended. With all my focus on