F**k Yeah! by Al Calm (english readers TXT) 📖

of them just hate me for no reason, don't ask why, they can always tell your straight, even if things are getting random. Yeah, getting a bit random now. There's that weird chemistry going on when it's either going to go real violent or real fucked up. I'm just hoping for a easy one, you know, a real chilled out vibe. Just laugh it off and we all go away and never see each other again.

 

It don't go that way. Sharon starts crying like a little kid, really going for it, snot and blood dribbling out of her nose, in her mouth. She's trying to say something but she's doing that kiddy cry speak so you can't make a word out what she's saying. Kirsty wipes her fist, disgusted by us. We broke the unknown commandment of Never Use a Stranger's Butt-Plug. I've seen the look a million times, I'm immune to it. Fuck it, anyway. If I was bothered, I'd be doing some shit dullsville job with just meself to worry about, busting me arse for shit money for forty plus hours a week.

 

Kirsty seems to be staring at me hard. I hope she might want to suck me off. I got dressed quick, then I start to roll a joint, really packing it. I need to sort me head out. I wouldn't mind some real decent trips, be fucking real cool. Sharon's still crying. Kirsty glares at me, just brewing for a domestic.

 

You know Sharon then? Kirsty goes to me, right in me mush.

 

Yeah, I say. What else can I say to her? Who the fuck is Sharon? I'm guessing Sharon's the chick I woke up next to.

 

Kirsty looks tearful. In my face, she goes to me, You know she's only fourteen? What fucked up stuff you been doing with her?

 

I don't know, I'm not with it.

 

Kirsty does a little smile and nods. I can see that she read me quicker than a flyer.

 

I get para, she might call the pigs, or it's another dyke fight I'm hoping she's a little bi, as she really does look like a proper fucking dyke looking bitch. Kirsty eyes the butt-plug, real intense. I gulp, I think she might want some arse play too. With me batty instead! She gets close to me again. I hope she wants it, me cock keeps leaking cum and doing weird erection thrusts.

 

Can we talk about this, I go. No way is she fourteen, she’s shitting with me. I'm trying to think on the spot. I ain't cut out for it, I don't have the skills to pay me bills and I ain't up for quick thinking.

 

I'm looking for Bungle Bob, I say.

 

You too, says Kirsty. Join the fucking club!

 

I'm his mate, I add, hoping it'll give me some much needed kudos.

 

Put some clothes on Shazz, says Kirsty. Maybe she's softening a bit now.

 

Sharon's got the only towel wrapped around her. She's sitting on the toilet now, crying and blubbing. She then does a horrendous shit fart.

 

Yeah, I continue, getting cold, not really bothering with the covering up thing, I'm knackered now, I don't give a shit. This why I stick to milfs, you never get hassles but that vague are they sixteen, are they eighteen, are they fourteen. Fucking stress!

 

My eyes are getting flash floaters buzzing in front of them, making me squint real bad. I’ll be seeing shit soon, I can feel it.

 

I'm looking for Callum Bumfluff Kid, I mumble to Kirsty. Need something to drink, just some water, anything, I add, gasping.

 

Kirsty shrugs. She looks me up and down, saying to me Callum was round yesterday with some really trippy pills, and I think he wanted to sell them.

Callum's trying to find Bungle Bob for more, isn't he? What a shit, she prods me, saying, Selling shit to kids, mate. That's fucking low, ain’t it? She told me she didn’t think Bungle Bob was like that. I didn’t have the heart to tell her it was me.

 

This time it's my turn to shrug, like real cool. Kirsty smiles, getting all flirty.

 

Yeah, it depends doesn't it? I say to her. She knows I know shit, that's why I'm asking. Those pills weren't that shit, she's playing me for some more. She probably knows it was me who gave them to the kid.

 

Yeah, says Kirsty, those pills were fucking sick! She looks at me, slowly licking her fat lips.

 

I don't know what ones the kid had, there's loads of shit about. You know shit, right? I laugh trying to joke. She's rubbing herself on me dick now. She's looking at me erection. She starts to slowly lick me cock, then nibbles me bell-end like a porn star. Fucking, really going for it real Glory Hole styley.

 

I'm in a bit of shock, like, really feeling the real cool feel of getting a bang on professional blowjob. I look up in slit-eyed toe-twitching pleasure and the Young Pat Butcher lookalike of the year winner, Shazz, rubs her tears away and starts giggling, fingering and fisting her massive bucket cunt, licking all her wet pussy juice fingers, getting real gooey. I'm sure me cock started laughing again, dribbling dribbly pre-cum in Kirsty's fat wet gob.

 

I wouldn't mind a porno on too. Kirsty really starts biting up me shaft, gobbling all me slimy cock up in one go. She's not bad for a lesbo bitch. A bit rough. She sure knows how to suck a cock. I suppose it's all that lesbo action with toys, right? I love lesbos, I really do!

 

Yeah she's pretty mental. I think I'm going to fuck up finding the kid for Bungle's bird. As soon as she licked me cock, I had a gut feeling I might get a bit lost. Fuck Bungle Bob, you're fucking tough to find. I'll never find that fucker!

 

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FUCKHEADS ANONYMOUS

 

Pass out somewhere, fucked to high heaven, like proper buzzing, fucking Mind Vortex's Hot Box hits me ears, real eardrumgasm! Need a bit of Slice n Dice. Good old Guv sorts it. Where did that door come from? Konichi's Hot Rocks not a bad tune too. This fucking club's a fucking maze! Hear Torchman's Highgrade Brunch kicking in, what a fucking tune! Torchy still smashing it, just like Potential Bad Boy!

 

Fucking proper banging, getting deep, getting darker, getting sicker! Yeah, I'm fucking buzzing so much I think I must've blacked out for a bit, I hope I ain’t zoned out. Impossible to zone out to a wicked set, unless I accidentally got greedy and dropped some of that crazy Ket shit. That DJ Pleasure tune smashed it too, I don't know why I'm so fucked, been playing it cool.

 

I get a bit more with it, gumming the last of some wicked MD. You know, I can't wait to catch Drumsound and Bassline Smith in Brixton, fucking mentalism. I’m proper fucked, but not as fucked as I normally get. Not that I remember too much. I forgot about doing me good deed for Bungle Bob's bird and for the little kid. What a fuckhead!

 

I start kissing some random bird. She's loving it, her eyes are all glazyhazy, real wavy, looking all around us. Ain’t a million star shines. In Your Eyes! Johnny Osbourne tip, Rockit! There’s barely an energy saver on in there, she spacing, proper vibesing.

 

She told me that she’s lost her mates too. She gives me the lines, we chat some shit, I can’t think what now. She's all like Yeah, yeah, fucking love you sooo much babe! She ain't twenty-five, she got to be over thirty, but she still acts young, I'm all cool with it. We score some more mandy, need a chuff too.

 

Fuck it, I'm in the same boat, we're all going to get old! We're all having it. She bites me lip, she's so fucked, I don't even react it just makes me tingle. Kinda like kinky foreplay? Fucking all cool with me. Who on the decks? I ain't got a clue now, it's all good anyway. Bunter and the Twinz Killa Sound booms, sounds like the LionDub mix. Fucking wicked.

 

Better than the shitty world outside, innit. Problem being that the world always seems to be shit. It just stays that way, all the fucking time. In this weird mind world I trip out, sleepy dream raving. The Bagpuss effect. I must've looked scary as fuck. I'm buzzing, I'm going for it. That Sigma remix of Friction's Stand Up comes on, getting mixed into that tune they done with Paloma Faith. Everyone loves Rudeboy even though it's always getting rinsed, I'm really going for it - just getting high off the people, a proper mental buzzing rush, like starting to trip off me tits; freaky floor says hello to me, nothing new there!

 

Fuck, nothing but a party! I remember not doing me homework and drawing a big fat penis in me book instead and giving it to my fit art teacher bird. She looks at it, smiles a bit, shaking her head. She's fucking hot. Suspended for fuck all!

 

Then, sometime later, she sees me in a pub, before another rave. We have drink, she comes to the rave, another banging Moondance, we get messy there, licking each other, just skanking, but getting some real chemistry flowing. Then, after the rave, we go to a proper hardcore after party, basically I’m fucking her on the dancefloor.

 

Next thing I know, I'm in a sweaty hotel room fucked off me face, pumping that hot art teacher bird, she's on top, plunging herself on me, really giving it some deep-pen style.

 

Fuck those were the days, I look next to me, it's Ren and Stimpy, they're just laughing at me, I offer them some pills for no money, like feeling real hippy loved up vibes, just pure fucking love vibes! They look amazed and a bit freaked out as if I’m trying to dose them. These pills aren’t dodgy looking pinks to make you pop. Not even fuck-up shit.

 

Think they’re just lovehearts. Yeah, feel real good, I wish reggae owed me money but I love it, no fucker owes a loser like me shit! NO MONEY,MONEY, MONEY! REGGAE DON’T OWE ME MONEY! FUCK MONEY! I'M ALL ABOUT THE LOVE! IT'S ALL COOL PEOPLE!

 

Shit I just clocked, why am I shouting? Security slip past me breathing like Darth Vader, I just smile a real long smile. Get a flashlight in the eyes for being happy. I think my jaw going to proper crush, amazed if I got any teeth left after this.

 

It all cool, though. I'm hugging Ren, scaring him proper, he gives me a dodgy looking shifty nifty for the dingers and tries to squeeze away from me. A nifty for lovehearts? Don’t make me laugh! Yeah bruv, serious, it’s five for a score! Stimpy just smiles, nodding at me, then the Ragga Twins get on!

 

Oh yeah, it's getting heavy now! Start chuffing that fat zoot I been saving. The Ragga Twins always smash it, fucking always, Ragga Twins about! The fucked pisshead fuckers can’t hack it, flake hard, it’s better to keep getting on it though! Too much mannish water and you know you’re gonna feel it, thing is they probably just had too much fucking Smirnoff Ice, the old trendy