Heidi by Johanna Spyri (android e book reader txt) 📖
- Author: Johanna Spyri
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and yet God has not done what I asked.”
“You are wrong, Heidi; you must not think of Him like that. God
is a good father to us all, and knows better than we do what is
good for us. If we ask Him for something that is not good for
us, He does not give it, but something better still, if only we
will continue to pray earnestly and do not run away and lose our
trust in Him. God did not think what you have been praying for
was good for you just now; but be sure He heard you, for He can
hear and see every one at the same time, because He is a God and
not a human being like you and me. And because He thought it was
better for you not to have at once what you wanted, He said to
Himself: Yes, Heidi shall have what she asks for, but not until
the right time comes, so that she may be quite happy. If I do
what she wants now, and then one day she sees that it would have
been better for her not to have had her own way, she will cry and
say, ‘If only God had not given me what I asked for! it is not so
good as I expected!’ And while God is watching over you, and
looking to see if you will trust Him and go on praying to Him
every day, and turn to Him for everything you want, you run away
and leave off saying your prayers, and forget all about Him. And
when God no longer hears the voice of one He knew among those who
pray to Him, He lets that person go his own way, that he may
learn how foolish he is. And then this one gets into trouble, and
cries, ‘Save me, God, for there is none other to help me,’ and
God says, ‘Why did you go from Me; I could not help you when you
ran away.’ And you would not like to grieve God, would you Heidi,
when He only wants to be kind to you? So will you not go and ask
Him to forgive you, and continue to pray and to trust Him, for
you may be sure that He will make everything right and happy for
you, and then you will be glad and lighthearted again.”
Heidi had perfect confidence in the grandmother, and every word
she said sunk into her heart.
“I will go at once and ask God to forgive me, and I will never
forget Him again,” she replied repentantly.
“That is right, dear child,” and anxious to cheer her, added,
“Don’t be unhappy, for He will do everything you wish in good
time.”
And Heidi ran away and prayed that she might always remember
God, and that He would go on thinking about her.
The day came for grandmother’s departure—a sad one for Clara
and Heidi. But the grandmother was determined to make it as much
like a holiday as possible and not to let them mope, and she kept
them so lively and amused that they had no time to think about
their sorrow at her going until she really drove away. Then the
house seemed so silent and empty that Heidi and Clara did not
know what to do with themselves, and sat during the remainder of
the day like two lost children.
The next day, when the hour came for Clara and Heidi to be
together, the latter walked in with her book and proposed that
she should go on reading aloud every afternoon to Clara, if the
latter liked it. Clara agreed, and thought anyhow it would be
nice for that day, so Heidi began with her usual enthusiasm. But
the reading did not last long, for Heidi had hardly begun a tale
about a dying grandmother before she cried out, “O! then
grandmother is dead!” and burst into tears; for everything she
read was so real to her that she quite thought it was the
grandmother at home who had died, and she kept on exclaiming as
her sobs increased, “She is dead, and I shall never see her
again, and she never had one of the white rolls!”
Clara did all she could to explain to Heidi that the story was
about quite a different grandmother; but even when at last she
had been able to convince Heidi of this, the latter continued to
weep inconsolably, for now she had awakened to the thought that
perhaps the grandmother, and even the grandfather also, might
die while she was so far away, and that if she did not go home
for a long time she would find everything there all silent and
dead, and there she would be all alone, and would never be able
to see the dear ones she loved any more.
Fraulein Rottenmeier had meanwhile come into the room, and Clara
explained to her what had happened. As Heidi continued her
weeping, the lady, who was evidently getting impatient with her,
went up to Heidi and said with decision, “Now, Adelaide, that is
enough of all this causeless lamentation. I will tell you once
for all, if there are any more scenes like this while you are
reading, I shall take the book away from you and shall not let
you have it again.”
Her words had immediate effect on Heidi, who turned pale with
fear. The book was her one great treasure. She quickly dried her
tears and swallowed her sobs as best she could, so that no
further sound of them should be heard. The threat did its work,
for Heidi never cried aloud again whatever she might be reading,
but she had often to struggle hard to keep back her tears, so
that Clara would look at her and say,
“What faces you are making, Heidi, I never saw anything like
it!” But the faces made no noise and did not offend Fraulein
Rottenmeier, and Heidi, having overcome her fit of despairing
misery, would go quietly on for a while, and no one perceived
her sorrow. But she lost all her appetite, and looked so pale and
thin that Sebastian was quite unhappy when he looked at her, and
could not bear to see her refusing all the nice dishes he handed
her. He would whisper to her sometimes, in quite a kind,
fatherly manner, “Take a little; you don’t know how nice it is!
There, a good spoonful, now another.” But it was of no use, Heidi
hardly ate anything at all, and as soon as she laid her head down
at night the picture of home would rise before her eyes, and she
would weep, burying her face in the pillow that her crying might
not be heard.
And so many weeks passed away. Heidi did not know it is was
winter or summer, for the walls and windows she looked out upon
showed no change, and she never went beyond the house except on
rare occasions when Clara was well enough to drive out, and then
they only went a very little way, as Clara could not bear the
movement for long. So that on these occasions they generally
only saw more fine streets and large houses and crowds of people;
they seldom got anywhere beyond them, and grass and flowers, fir
trees and mountains, were still far away. Heidi’s longing for the
old familiar and beautiful things grew daily stronger, so that
now only to read a word that recalled them to her remembrance
brought her to the verge of tears, which with difficulty she
suppressed. So the autumn and winter passed, and again the sun
came shining down on the white walls of the opposite houses, and
Heidi would think to herself that now the time had come for Peter
to go out again with the goats, to where the golden flowers of
the cistus were glowing in the sunlight, and all the rocks around
turned to fire at sunset. Heidi would go and sit in a corner of
her lonely room and put her hands up to her eyes that she might
not see the sun shining on the opposite wall; and then she would
remain without moving, battling silently with her terrible
homesickness until Clara sent for her again.
CHAPTER XII. A GHOST IN THE HOUSE
For some days past Fraulein Rottenmeier had gone about rather
silently and as if lost in thought. As twilight fell, and she
passed from room to room, or along the long corridors, she was
seen to look cautiously behind her, and into the dark corners,
as if she thought some one was coming silently behind her and
might unexpectedly give her dress a pull. Nor would she now go
alone into some parts of the house. If she visited the upper
floor where the grand guest-chambers were, or had to go down into
the large mysterious council-chamber, where every footstep
echoed, and the old senators with their big white collars looked
down so solemnly and immovably from their frames, she regularly
called Tinette to accompany her, in case, as she said, there
might be something to carry up or down. Tinette on her side did
exactly the same; if she had business upstairs or down, she
called Sebastian to accompany her, and there was always something
he must help her with which she could not carry alone. More
curious still, Sebastian, also, if sent into one of the more
distant rooms, always called John to go with him in case he
should want his assistance in bringing what was required. And
John readily obeyed, although there was never anything to carry,
and either might well have gone alone; but he did not know how
soon he might want to ask Sebastian to do the same service for
him. And while these things were going on upstairs, the cook, who
had been in the house for years, would stand shaking her head
over her pots and kettles, and sighing, “That ever I should live
to know such a thing.”
For something very strange and mysterious was going on in Herr
Sesemann’s house. Every morning, when the servants went
downstairs, they found the front door wide open, although nobody
could be seen far or near to account for it. During the first
few days that this happened every room and corner was searched in
great alarm, to see if anything had been stolen, for the general
idea was that a thief had been hiding in the house and had gone
off in the night with the stolen goods; but not a thing in the
house had been touched, everything was safe in its place. The
door was doubly locked at night, and for further security the
wooden bar was fastened across it; but it was no good—next
morning the door again stood open. The servants in their fear
and excitement got up extra early, but not so early but what the
door had been opened before they got downstairs, although
everything and everybody around were still wrapped in slumber,
and the doors and windows of the adjoining houses all fast shut.
At last, after a great deal of persuasion from Fraulein
Rottenmeier, Sebastian and John plucked up courage and agreed to
sit up one night in the room next to the large council-chamber
and to watch and see what would happen. Fraulein Rottenmeier
looked up several weapons belonging to the master, and gave these
and a bottle of spirits to Sebastian, so that their courage might
not faint if it came to a fight.
On the appointed night the two sat down and began at once to
take some of the strengthening cordial, which at first made them
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