Ruth by Elizabeth Gaskell (well read books .txt) 📖

threw open the middle door with a bang, which did not indicate either calmness of mind or sweetness of temper.

“Is yon young woman going to stay any length o’ time with us?” asked she of Miss Benson.

Mr. Benson put his hand gently on his sister’s arm, to check her from making any reply, while he said—

“We cannot exactly tell, Sally. She will remain until after her confinement.”

“Lord bless us and save us!—a baby in the house! Nay, then my time’s come, and I’ll pack up and begone. I never could abide them things. I’d sooner have rats in the house.”

Sally really did look alarmed.

“Why, Sally!” said Mr. Benson, smiling, “I was not much more than a baby when you came to take care of me.”

“Yes, you were, Master Thurstan; you were a fine bouncing lad of three year old and better.”

Then she remembered the change she had wrought in the “fine bouncing lad,” and her eyes filled with tears, which she was too proud to wipe away with her apron; for, as she sometimes said to herself, “she could not abide crying before folk.”

“Well, it’s no use talking, Sally,” said Miss Benson, too anxious to speak to be any longer repressed. “We’ve promised to keep her, and we must do it; you’ll have none of the trouble, Sally, so don’t be afraid.”

“Well, I never! as if I minded trouble! You might ha’ known me better nor that. I’ve scoured master’s room twice over, just to make the boards look white, though the carpet is to cover them, and now you go and cast up about me minding my trouble. If them’s the fashions you’ve learnt in Wales, I’m thankful I’ve never been there.”

Sally looked red, indignant, and really hurt. Mr. Benson came in with his musical voice and soft words of healing.

“Faith knows you don’t care for trouble, Sally; she is only anxious about this poor young woman, who has no friends but ourselves. We know there will be more trouble in consequence of her coming to stay with us; and I think, though we never spoke about it, that in making our plans we reckoned on your kind help, Sally, which has never failed us yet when we needed it.”

“You’ve twice the sense of your sister, Master Thurstan, that you have. Boys always has. It’s truth there will be more trouble, and I shall have my share on’t, I reckon. I can face it if I’m told out and out, but I cannot abide the way some folk has of denying there’s trouble or pain to be met; just as if their saying there was none, would do away with it. Some folk treats one like a babby, and I don’t like it. I’m not meaning you, Master Thurstan.”

“No, Sally, you need not say that. I know well enough who you mean when you say ‘some folk.’ However, I admit I was wrong in speaking as if you minded trouble, for there never was a creature minded it less. But I want you to like Mrs. Denbigh,” said Miss Benson.

“I dare say I should, if you’d let me alone. I did na like her sitting down in master’s chair. Set her up, indeed, in an armchair wi’ cushions! Wenches in my day were glad enough of stools.”

“She was tired to-night,” said Mr. Benson. “We are all tired; so if you have done your work, Sally, come in to reading.”

The three quiet people knelt down side by side, and two of them prayed earnestly for “them that had gone astray.” Before ten o’clock, the household were in bed. Ruth, sleepless, weary, restless with the oppression of a sorrow which she dared not face and contemplate bravely, kept awake all the early part of the night. Many a time did she rise, and go to the long casement window, and looked abroad over the still and quiet town—over the grey stone walls, and chimneys, and old high-pointed roofs—on to the far-away hilly line of the horizon, lying calm under the bright moonshine. It was late in the morning when she woke from her long-deferred slumbers; and when she went downstairs, she found Mr. and Miss Benson awaiting her in the parlour. That homely, pretty, old-fashioned little room! How bright and still and clean it looked! The window (all the windows at the hack of the house were casements) was open, to let in the sweet morning air, and streaming eastern sunshine. The long jessamine sprays, with their white-scented stars, forced themselves almost into the room. The little square garden beyond, with grey stone walls all round, was rich and mellow in its autumnal colouring, running from deep crimson hollyhocks up to amber and gold nasturtiums, and all toned down by the clear and delicate air. It was so still, that the gossamer-webs, laden with dew, did not tremble or quiver in the least; but the sun was drawing to himself the sweet incense of many flowers, and the parlour was scented with the odours of mignonette and stocks. Miss Benson was arranging a bunch of China and damask roses in an old-fashioned jar; they lay, all dewy and fresh, on the white breakfast-cloth when Ruth entered. Mr. Benson was reading in some large folio. With gentle morning speech they greeted her; but the quiet repose of the scene was instantly broken by Sally popping in from the kitchen, and glancing at Ruth with sharp reproach. She said—

“I reckon I may bring in breakfast, now?” with a strong emphasis on the last word.

“I am afraid I am very late,” said Ruth.

“Oh, never mind,” said Mr. Benson gently. “It was our fault for not telling you our breakfast hour. We always have prayers at half-past seven; and for Sally’s sake, we never vary from that time; for she can so arrange her work, if she knows the hour of prayers, as to have her mind calm and untroubled.”

“Ahem!” said Miss Benson, rather inclined to “testify” against the invariable calmness of Sally’s mind at any hour of the day; but her brother went on as if he did not hear her.

“But the breakfast does not signify being delayed a little; and I am sure you were sadly tired with your long day yesterday.”

Sally came slapping in, and put down some withered, tough, dry toast, with—

“It’s not my doing if it is like leather”; but as no one appeared to hear her, she withdrew to her kitchen, leaving Ruth’s cheeks like crimson at the annoyance she had caused.

All day long, she had that feeling common to those who go to stay at a fresh house among comparative strangers: a feeling of the necessity that she should become accustomed to the new atmosphere in which she was placed, before she could move and act freely; it was, indeed, a purer ether, a diviner air, which she was breathing in now, than what she had been accustomed to for long months. The gentle, blessed mother, who had made her childhood’s home holy ground, was in her very nature so far removed from any of earth’s stains and temptation, that she seemed truly one of those

“Who ask not if Thine eye Be on them; who, in love and truth, Where no misgiving is, rely Upon the genial sense of youth.”

In the Bensons’ house there was the same unconsciousness of individual merit, the same absence of introspection and analysis of motive, as there had been in her mother; but it seemed that their lives were pure and good, not merely from a lovely and beautiful nature, but from some law, the obedience to which was, of itself, harmonious peace, and which governed them almost implicitly, and with as little questioning on their part, as the glorious stars which haste not, rest not, in their eternal obedience. This household had many failings: they were but human, and, with all their loving desire to bring their lives into harmony with the will of God, they often erred and fell short; but, somehow, the very errors and faults of one individual served to call out higher excellences in another, and so they reacted upon each other, and the result of short discords was exceeding harmony and peace. But they had themselves no idea of the real state of things; they did not trouble themselves with marking their progress by self-examination; if Mr. Benson did sometimes, in hours of sick incapacity for exertion, turn inwards, it was to cry aloud with almost morbid despair, “God be merciful to me a sinner!” But he strove to leave his life in the hands of God, and to forget himself.

Ruth sat still and quiet through the long first day. She was languid and weary from her journey; she was uncertain what help she might offer to give in the household duties, and what she might not. And, in her languor and in her uncertainty, it was pleasant to watch the new ways of the people among whom she was placed. After breakfast, Mr. Benson withdrew to his study, Miss Benson took away the cups and saucers, and leaving the kitchen-door open, talked sometimes to Ruth, sometimes to Sally, while she washed them up. Sally had upstairs duties to perform, for which Ruth was thankful, as she kept receiving rather angry glances for her unpunctuality as long as Sally remained downstairs. Miss Benson assisted in the preparation for the early dinner, and brought some kidney-beans to shred into a basin of bright, pure spring-water, which caught and danced in the sunbeams as she sat near the open casement of the parlour, talking to Ruth of things and people which as yet the latter did not understand, and could not arrange and comprehend. She was like a child who gets a few pieces of a dissected map, and is confused until a glimpse of the whole unity is shown him. Mr. and Mrs. Bradshaw were the centre pieces in Ruth’s map; their children, their servants, were the accessories; and one or two other names were occasionally mentioned. Ruth wondered and almost wearied at Miss Benson’s perseverance in talking to her about people whom she did not know; but, in truth, Miss Benson heard the long-drawn, quivering sighs which came from the poor heavy heart, when it was left to silence, and had leisure to review the past; and her quick accustomed ear caught also the low mutterings of the thunder in the distance, in the shape of Sally’s soliloquies, which, like the asides at a theatre, were intended to be heard. Suddenly, Miss Benson called Ruth out of the room upstairs into her own bedchamber, and then began rummaging in little old-fashioned boxes, drawn out of an equally old-fashioned bureau, half-desk, half-table, and wholly drawers.

“My dear, I’ve been very stupid and thoughtless. Oh! I’m so glad I thought of it before Mrs. Bradshaw came to call. Here it is!” and she pulled out an old wedding-ring, and hurried it on Ruth’s finger. Ruth hung down her head, and reddened deep with shame; her eyes smarted with the hot tears that filled them. Miss Benson talked on, in a nervous hurried way—

“It was my grandmother’s; it’s very broad; they made them so then, to hold a posy inside: there’s one in that—

‘Thine own sweetheart Till death doth part,’

I think it is. There, there! Run away, and look as if you’d always worn it.” Ruth went up to her room, and threw herself down on her knees by the bedside, and cried as if her heart would break; and then, as if a light had come down into her soul, she calmed herself and prayed—no words can tell how humbly, and with what earnest feeling. When she came down, she was tearstained and wretchedly pale; but even Sally looked at her with new eyes, because of the dignity