A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court by Mark Twain (sneezy the snowman read aloud .TXT) 📖

RESTORATION OF THE FOUNTAIN

Saturday noon I went to the well and looked on a while.  Merlin was still burning smoke-powders, and pawing the air, and muttering gibberish as hard as ever, but looking pretty down-hearted, for of course he had not started even a perspiration in that well yet. Finally I said:

“How does the thing promise by this time, partner?”

“Behold, I am even now busied with trial of the powerfulest enchantment known to the princes of the occult arts in the lands of the East; an it fail me, naught can avail.  Peace, until I finish.”

He raised a smoke this time that darkened all the region, and must have made matters uncomfortable for the hermits, for the wind was their way, and it rolled down over their dens in a dense and billowy fog.  He poured out volumes of speech to match, and contorted his body and sawed the air with his hands in a most extraordinary way.  At the end of twenty minutes he dropped down panting, and about exhausted.  Now arrived the abbot and several hundred monks and nuns, and behind them a multitude of pilgrims and a couple of acres of foundlings, all drawn by the prodigious smoke, and all in a grand state of excitement.  The abbot inquired anxiously for results.  Merlin said:

“If any labor of mortal might break the spell that binds these waters, this which I have but just essayed had done it.  It has failed; whereby I do now know that that which I had feared is a truth established; the sign of this failure is, that the most potent spirit known to the magicians of the East, and whose name none may utter and live, has laid his spell upon this well.  The mortal does not breathe, nor ever will, who can penetrate the secret of that spell, and without that secret none can break it.  The water will flow no more forever, good Father.  I have done what man could.  Suffer me to go.”

Of course this threw the abbot into a good deal of a consternation. He turned to me with the signs of it in his face, and said:

“Ye have heard him. Is it true?”

“Part of it is.”

“Not all, then, not all!  What part is true?”

“That that spirit with the Russian name has put his spell upon the well.”

“God’s wounds, then are we ruined!”

“Possibly.”

“But not certainly?  Ye mean, not certainly?”

“That is it.”

“Wherefore, ye also mean that when he saith none can break the spell—”

“Yes, when he says that, he says what isn’t necessarily true. There are conditions under which an effort to break it may have some chance—that is, some small, some trifling chance—of success.”

“The conditions—”

“Oh, they are nothing difficult.  Only these:  I want the well and the surroundings for the space of half a mile, entirely to myself from sunset to-day until I remove the ban—and nobody allowed to cross the ground but by my authority.”

“Are these all?”

“Yes.”

“And you have no fear to try?”

“Oh, none.  One may fail, of course; and one may also succeed. One can try, and I am ready to chance it.  I have my conditions?”

“These and all others ye may name.  I will issue commandment to that effect.”

“Wait,” said Merlin, with an evil smile.  "Ye wit that he that would break this spell must know that spirit’s name?”

“Yes, I know his name.”

“And wit you also that to know it skills not of itself, but ye must likewise pronounce it?  Ha-ha!  Knew ye that?”

“Yes, I knew that, too.”

“You had that knowledge!  Art a fool?  Are ye minded to utter that name and die?”

“Utter it?  Why certainly.  I would utter it if it was Welsh.”

“Ye are even a dead man, then; and I go to tell Arthur.”

“That’s all right.  Take your gripsack and get along.  The thing for you to do is to go home and work the weather, John W. Merlin.”

It was a home shot, and it made him wince; for he was the worst weather-failure in the kingdom.  Whenever he ordered up the danger-signals along the coast there was a week’s dead calm, sure, and every time he prophesied fair weather it rained brickbats. But I kept him in the weather bureau right along, to undermine his reputation.  However, that shot raised his bile, and instead of starting home to report my death, he said he would remain and enjoy it.

My two experts arrived in the evening, and pretty well fagged, for they had traveled double tides.  They had pack-mules along, and had brought everything I needed—tools, pump, lead pipe, Greek fire, sheaves of big rockets, roman candles, colored fire sprays, electric apparatus, and a lot of sundries—everything necessary for the stateliest kind of a miracle.  They got their supper and a nap, and about midnight we sallied out through a solitude so wholly vacant and complete that it quite overpassed the required conditions.  We took possession of the well and its surroundings.  My boys were experts in all sorts of things, from the stoning up of a well to the constructing of a mathematical instrument.  An hour before sunrise we had that leak mended in ship-shape fashion, and the water began to rise.  Then we stowed our fireworks in the chapel, locked up the place, and went home to bed.

Before the noon mass was over, we were at the well again; for there was a deal to do yet, and I was determined to spring the miracle before midnight, for business reasons:  for whereas a miracle worked for the Church on a week-day is worth a good deal, it is worth six times as much if you get it in on a Sunday.  In nine hours the