Really? by M.J. Garrett (best motivational books to read .TXT) 📖

fills her eyes like its Christmas. It's beautiful!

Erin isn't the fastest, but she is the strongest! She once carried two jugs of milk up the stairs to our apartment. Hell, I didn't even do that! She colored everything with the same crayon. Blue. It was how she used the different shades to separate different parts of her picture that amazed me. Come to find out, Blue was very difficult to get off of white paint in the bedroom, and bathroom, and kitchen.

I stood by the window and watched as the two of them played in the courtyard with one of the neighborhood kids. I didn't really like it that he was their age or the fact that he was a boy. I constantly found myself staring at him with my eyes squinted, knowing that this little asshole would one day have to choose between them and maybe even break one of their hearts. Maybe I should find a different place to live? I could move to the country so that we had no neighbors or any annoying little boys that liked my girls in “that way”.

It was so nice to hear their laughs. It seemed that no matter how much ridicule or embarrassing moments I have at work, I can always get a smile from the most beautiful girls in the world. Maybe one day, they will see me as a superhero or some Super dad? I don't think that's too much to ask, but maybe it's just too late to expect such a high opinion from them.

As the girls came in to wash up for dinner, I pulled my lasagna from the oven. This was my first attempt at baking something. Even with the directions, I found a way to make sure that the bottom half will not be eaten. To be honest, I don't even think you could cut the bottom half. It was like a layer of mortar, hard and crusted. Erin sat down and sniffed her plate. Smiling at me, she said that it smelled just like mom's. I didn't know if that was a compliment or not, but Katie seemed to think that it smelled more like the car after it over heated.

“Thank you, Katie, for all of your glorious insight!” I smiled at her to ensure that she knew I was joking and we all smiled and laughed. Not bad, if I do say so myself. It smelled kind of like lasagna and it tasted a whole lot like lasagna. The girls didn't really seem to mind it either, but it seemed that it took them watching me take a couple of bites before they were convinced that it wasn't toxic. Smart girls, that must have come from their mother's side.

After dinner, I tucked the girls in bed and found myself trapped watching some show on HBO. At first I thought it was a skin flick. These two girls were kissing a lot and I was intrigued. I turned the volume down to almost nothing and quickly turned the channel to ESPN. This was a safety precaution. If the girls came in the room with me watching these two girls, I'd quickly hit the “last” button on the remote, and I was watching ESPN. Genius.

Right about the time that I slumped into my couch to get more relaxed for my nightly exercise of self-pleasure, the phone began to ring. I quickly jumped up with grabbed the phone off the couch.

“What?!” I answered with the sound of frustration. “Do you know what time it is?!”

“Abe?” the sound of my mother’s sniffing and emotional voice whispered into my ear. “It's your father, he...he...”

“He what?! Come on mom, we know you two don't always see eye to eye.” I stood there with my eyes glued to the TV. Trying hard to get my mother off the other end of the phone, I started to act like I couldn't hear her. I guess I could have been more compassionate, but she never calls. When she does call, it's always about some fight that she and dad were having, and it always ended up the same. This has been their routine and I didn't see anything changing.

“He's dead, Abe!?” That's when I heard the phone hit the floor and the sound of my mother crying.

“What?! Mom? Mom!”


**


It's been a month since my dad had passed. I don't really feel anything. I guess what it has done to me, is make me realize that every day I get closer and closer to rotting in my own pine box. The girls didn't even know him. To them, it was just a trip to see a side of their family at their worst. My sisters arguing about who was going to stay home and take care of mom, my brothers arguing over who was going to get the boat or gun collection. Aunts and uncles were arguing about the best and quickest way to get home. Do they take the freeway or highway? It was all so surreal. I just stood there in the room full of family holding a daughter with each hand.

I've been away from home for about 20 years. I didn't call them. I didn't talk to them. I didn't even remember what they looked like. Aunts and Uncles didn't even know who I was. I guess that's the impression I had left them, a man not worth remembering. I still had my daughters. We still had each other. That's the most important thing right now. I have someone and so do they.

“Dad?” Erin looked at me as I stared out the window of the little apartment. “Are you going to be okay?” I don't know how to answer that. I don't have any answers. Erin, reached her hand out to me holding this little stuffed bunny that I gave to them on the day they were born. It was old and dirty. One eye was barely hanging on and the plastic nose was rubbed smooth from all of the years that she spent rubbing her little fingers on it while she slept. “You can sleep with Bunny.”

Looking at her holding out this stuffed bunny, I reach up and grab her wrist. Pulling her close to me, I told her that I didn't need Bunny. I told her that Bunny was hers and all I really needed was to hold her and Katie. Her eyes swelled with tears as a smile stretched across her face. She jumped into my arms as her tears dropped on my dry shirt. I wish I could say that I was strong. I wish I could say that I didn't cry. But, when Katie joined the group hug, I lost it.

Weeping like a baby, the two squeezed me so tight. They didn't see me as the dumpy balding loser. The saw me as their father in need and they came to my rescue. Really? This is how amazing my girls are?


Chapter 7

“Mr. Lewis?” Miss Thatcher stood there looking at me from outside my car window. “Mr. Lewis, I just wanted to say that I am very impressed with Katie and Erin. They have seemed to have adjusted well to class and are starting to open up. The way they talk about you almost makes me want to cry.” I sat there confused. I don't know what to say. “I know that I shouldn't be telling you this, but I just want to say that you are an amazing father.” She stepped back from the car and crossed her arms across her chest in vulnerability. Reaching up with one hand, she slid her fingers around the back of her neck and looked away. I could tell that she was uncomfortable and I didn't want to stay in this conversation too much longer. I too was uncomfortable. I started my car and smiled.

“Thank you. I look forward to working with you, Miss Thatcher, but I'm late for work.” I slowly drifted through the parking lot and watched her standing there dealing with her embarrassment. I was shocked that the girls would speak so highly of me. They barely knew me and I thought they blamed me for everything.

Miss Thatcher, was so pretty. I thought about her on my way to work. I wondered if she had a boyfriend or fiancé. If not, was she just a really nice woman or was she looking at me and my possible vulnerability as some way to take her mind off of her own? You can't ever tell these days.


**

“Abe! My man! Come here for a minute. Me and the guys have a question that maybe you can help me with.” Rick stood there in his suit with three young gentlemen dressed in their suits. Each of them, smiling as if I was going to be some sort of punch line. “You talk to Dee...what is she like?”

I didn't know who Dee was. I looked at them blankly and waited for the punch line. “Who is Dee?”

“Dee? The pretty little chic that sits next to your cubicle?” Rick smiled along with the other two gentlemen.

“Oh, that Dee?” My face became numb as my mind retraced its steps through the office breakdown that resulted in her handing me her stupid smiley face cup. “Yeah, I know Dee. She's a really nice girl.” I tried to say something nice, but all I could see was her cheerleader smile as she handed me her cup while I was trapped under the desk and cubicle walls.

Rick stood there looking at my blank face as he tapped the other guys on the shoulder and promised to see them at lunch. The other guys smiled and headed to their nice cushy job, that I was certain, was nowhere near my dreaded cubicle. Rick, walked over to me and placed his hand on my shoulder as he moved in close to me, as if to unveil some secret. “Abe, I want you to have lunch with me. I think I can help you.”

Really! I'm the new charity case? I thought today would be a nice invisible day, but I see that my new friend Rick was about to make it impossible. “Rick, Why do you want me to have lunch? You have friends and I'm sure that you don't need another.”

Rick looked at me with confusion written on his face. “You know what? Let's bail on work and go have a little fun?”

Fun? What the hell does that mean? I don't do fun or spontaneous. I didn't like where this was going. I looked at him and